I wouldn't go with more than 4gb as you won't get any benefit going above that for gaming. You could change the OS to 955, my understanding is the 955 is identical to the 965 once you adjust one number in the bios.
I don't know much about the HSF, but there was another thread where these alternatives were mentioned:
Quote from: KyleSTL
'Zalman = loud, expensive and dated design. The 9700 is definitely NOT worth the price tag.
Choose any of the following coolers/brands:
Xigmatek S1283 or S963
Cooler Master Hyper TX2 or 212
OCZ Vendetta/Vendetta II/Vanquisher
AMD chips can't handle 7-7-7-21 timings as far as I know @ 1600MHz. You will need to check RAM compatibility with your MB.
Also, be advised: Extra tall RAM heat sinks may collide with your choice of CPU cooler depending on board spacing.
I picked up a Cooler Master GenimII S heatsink for my Intel Core i5 750 build two weeks ago. It keeps that chip at room temp when idle. I'm not sure how well it will work with the X4 965/955, but it's another choice. It also has enough clearance for RAM on my board (too lazy to look up the exact MB model).
With the XFX 5870 card, I notice some lag when playing STALKER Clear Sky @ 1920x1080 with MAX settings and DX10.1. Makes me kinda want to throw in a little more for a 5970 card, which may be possible if your build if you stick with 4Gb of RAM for now.
Also, just my 2 cents, there is really no tangible benefit of getting an SSD on gaming performance IMHO. I'm assuming it will be your system disk, so you will get faster boot times, etc., but that's why I use the sleep function of my computer... Could ditch the SSD and get a monster of a graphics card.
Note: I have 8Gb of G. Skill ECO RAM @ 1333MHz @ 7-7-7-21 timings @ 1.4V. I use 1Gb of RAM for a RAM drive. Most games I know of do not require beyond 4Gb of system RAM, but it is nice to have more just to have it.