I doubt if you need new software unless their hub (actually it's a wireless router) setup wizard requires a later or different version of Windows than you have. Have you tried loading the CD which came with the router ?
You can set up the router manually but you'll need to refer closely to the manual for the router (which may also be on the CD).
If the worst comes to worst you could connect your laptop to the router via ethernet cable between the network port on your computer and one of the LAN ports on the router.
If BT didn't make it clear at the time of signing you up which Windows version you needed you might have a case for a refund -- after all they make a big song and dance about wireless in their ads and they should have facilitated that for the price you have paid (which is not cheap compared to other ISPs).