1) For gaming, spend a lot of your budget on a great graphics card. I think a GTX460 is a bit weak for a 1920 x 1200 monitor, but perhaps OK for the smaller monitor you picked. Look for a GTX480 or GTX580 if you might game at 1920P. It might pay to wait to later in December for the amd 69xx response to nvidia.
A monitor is one thing you will keep for several generations, and you will look at it every day. Get a good one, perhaps a 24" 1920 x 1200 unit.
2) To pick compatible ram, use the ram vendor's configurator. Enter your motherboard, and get a list of ram kits that they support on that motherboard.
Do not spend much extra on faster ram, or better timings. They look good in synthetic benchmarks, but the impact on FPS will be in the 1-3% range.
Better to get 6 or 8gb:
http://www.corsair.com/_appnotes/AN902_8GB_or_More_of_System_RAM.pdf
3) Get a quality psu. My short list of quality units includes: Seasonic, Antec, Corsair, PC P&C, and XFX for starters. Size the psu by getting one with enough 6 and 8 pin pci-e connectors for all anticipated graphics cards. This will usually be a 600-700w unit for one card, and a750-850w unit for two.
4) Get a case you love. As long as it has two 120mm intake fans, or one 140mm intake at least, you will get adequate cooling.
5) If your need is not urgent, I would wait for Jan 9 sandy bridge availability. A test with an early sample of a mid range cpu showes it to be comparable in gaming with the i7-980X. Read about it here:
http://www.anandtech.com/show/3871/the-sandy-bridge-preview-three-wins-in-a-row/11
6) I love the SSD. See if you can't fit even a small 40gb unit in you budget for the OS and apps. It makes everything feel so much quicker.