- Apr 7, 2008
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Following the release of Intel's Sandy Bridge processor, AMD has responded with their new Bulldozer CPUs. Criticised for their low performance per watt ratio on single theaded applications, amdfangirl went out to find out why.
On contacting AMD, we found John Smith from the AMD 'truth division'. When asked about why Bulldozer was so horribly inept as a processor he replied saying that "Bulldozer is an extremely efficient CPU, if you compare it to a CAT Bulldozer, what we're doing is far more efficient. If you look at the power consumption, we're only using a fraction of a real Bulldozer. "
When asked about exactly how AMD's Bulldozer compares to a real CAT Bulldozer, AMD replied "When you overclock any of our processors, running them will melt all the ground into lava. You can easily dispose of lava into a city because... everyone loves lava. Particularly Pompeii, they used our B1 stepping of Bulldozer. See how happy they are? They've been hugging the lava for centuries."
When asked about Sandy Bridge, John replied "Well how does Sandy Bridge compare to a bridge made out of sand? it doesn't! Intel's Sandy Bridge consumes infinte times more power than a bridge made of sand. Plus, what use are bridges made of sand? What exactly is the use of sand in processors?"
When we asked Intel's 'explanation division they responded with "Well Sandy Bridge might not be as efficient as a bridge made of sand, but if AMD wants to play this card, we'll point out that our "Prescott" Intel Pentium 4 processor is far more power efficient that Bulldozer. Not only is it used to boil water to drive turbines, only 1 Prescott is required to drive the steam turbines that power the whole city of Prescott, AZ".
When asked why VIA inappriopritely compares its processors power consumption to the decesed prophets and apostles of the Christian religion VIA replied "You're crazy! Your whole article is crazy! What is this? Fox news?"
Update
AMD has responded to the Windows 7 threading issue with Bulldozer stating that their Bulldozer based Interlagos server chip will solve threading issues. John claims that "the Interlagos processor will remediate the problems with Zambezi, the desktop implementation of Bulldozer. The Interlagos chip contains three vital parts, Inter, Lag and OS. The idea behind Interlagos is that inter-core cache thrashing will induce something called Lag, eventually, the responese will be so slow that the OS actually gives up, meaning that Interlagos can run much faster than Zambezi. A new B3 stepping of Bulldozer will implement this feature from Interlagos."
In the mean time, VIA has threatened to sue the author of this article for illogical defamitory remarks. Whether VIA can mortgage its headquarters to fund the court excursion remains to be seen.
Article by amdfangirl
Please note that I am not responsible for any spelling mistakes, anything historically or factually inaccurate or fire-breathing dragons under your bed.
On contacting AMD, we found John Smith from the AMD 'truth division'. When asked about why Bulldozer was so horribly inept as a processor he replied saying that "Bulldozer is an extremely efficient CPU, if you compare it to a CAT Bulldozer, what we're doing is far more efficient. If you look at the power consumption, we're only using a fraction of a real Bulldozer. "
When asked about exactly how AMD's Bulldozer compares to a real CAT Bulldozer, AMD replied "When you overclock any of our processors, running them will melt all the ground into lava. You can easily dispose of lava into a city because... everyone loves lava. Particularly Pompeii, they used our B1 stepping of Bulldozer. See how happy they are? They've been hugging the lava for centuries."
When asked about Sandy Bridge, John replied "Well how does Sandy Bridge compare to a bridge made out of sand? it doesn't! Intel's Sandy Bridge consumes infinte times more power than a bridge made of sand. Plus, what use are bridges made of sand? What exactly is the use of sand in processors?"
When we asked Intel's 'explanation division they responded with "Well Sandy Bridge might not be as efficient as a bridge made of sand, but if AMD wants to play this card, we'll point out that our "Prescott" Intel Pentium 4 processor is far more power efficient that Bulldozer. Not only is it used to boil water to drive turbines, only 1 Prescott is required to drive the steam turbines that power the whole city of Prescott, AZ".
When asked why VIA inappriopritely compares its processors power consumption to the decesed prophets and apostles of the Christian religion VIA replied "You're crazy! Your whole article is crazy! What is this? Fox news?"
Update
AMD has responded to the Windows 7 threading issue with Bulldozer stating that their Bulldozer based Interlagos server chip will solve threading issues. John claims that "the Interlagos processor will remediate the problems with Zambezi, the desktop implementation of Bulldozer. The Interlagos chip contains three vital parts, Inter, Lag and OS. The idea behind Interlagos is that inter-core cache thrashing will induce something called Lag, eventually, the responese will be so slow that the OS actually gives up, meaning that Interlagos can run much faster than Zambezi. A new B3 stepping of Bulldozer will implement this feature from Interlagos."
In the mean time, VIA has threatened to sue the author of this article for illogical defamitory remarks. Whether VIA can mortgage its headquarters to fund the court excursion remains to be seen.
Article by amdfangirl
Please note that I am not responsible for any spelling mistakes, anything historically or factually inaccurate or fire-breathing dragons under your bed.
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