I am currently in the same situation as you are, I was just about to post a new thread asking abou the same thing
, the only difference is that I already own the recon3D pcie, and I have been reading mixed reviews about it, how low quality the components are and that the quad core is not really a quad core, stuff like that, I compared it to my motherboard sound onboard (gigabyte 990fx ud5) and it is better by a slight margin, slightly deeper sound in the recon3d than the onboard sound although the motherboard sound has a higher snr which is 108 compared with 102 on the recon3d, the big difference is in games, especially first person shooter, the surround sound is better and you can spot voice and footsteps easily even when your using stereo heaphones in the headphones amp, you can actually distinguish between front behind left right below upper left upper right etc, clearly, which is amazing in games.
I am confused just like you and thinking of buying an asus xonar but worried that it might not perform as good as the recon3d in games. and the lack of EAX full support in asus cards.
I mainly game with headphones and ocasionally with the 5.1 systeme although I wouldn`t mind buying the asus xonar essense st since I also have a sony shelf speakers and a sony reciever so no problem there.
I am thinking of waiting until creative release a better driver that might make this card get abetter reviews and better sound in movies and music, since buying exchanging an old product with an old one is kind of resky.