Need help choosing a graphics card

does it eat more ram at 1280?

No, infact you'd probably be only using at most 512mb or video ram.

If youre going to OC I'd say a 6850, especially one with an overpowered cooler. The 6870 is largely the same card with much higher clock speeds (It's essentially a manufactured to be overclocked 6850) and as such wont give as much headroom as a 6850. However, with the 7800 and 7600 series of ATI cards (I refuse to stop using that) on the very immediate horizon, it'd be best to hold out, especially if your goal is DX11. The newer series handles DX11 FAR better than the nvidia or ATI chips out now, and once those new 7 series cards come out, the 6 series cards will see a price dip. At your resolution a 6850 or 560ti should be ample though, and if you're willing to do some hunting, you can find 1gb 6950s remarkably cheap (I personally spent around $195 for each of mine several months ago).

I believe in most respects the 6950 will be faster but the 560ti might be cheaper. For a direct comparison of 6950 to 560ti...
http://media.bestofmicro.com/Y/U/3 [...] 201650.png
The 560ti isnt included in their roundup for nVidia cards, though a base version 570 is roughly equivilant to a rather overclocked 560ti
http://media.bestofmicro.com/Z/I/3 [...] 201680.png

Now for of a more apples to apples comparison...
http://media.bestofmicro.com/Y/M/3 [...] 201680.png
http://media.bestofmicro.com/Z/4/3 [...] 201680.png

This is provided as each model with base specs, many 560s come with overclocks from whatever the oem is. Personally, as evidenced by my 6950s, you can tell where my choice is...

Oh, and "Fermi" is just the GPU family generation, nvidia loves using it in marketing. Named after the physics laboratory in the US (Fermilab), ATI names theirs after paradise resorts; Northern Islands for the 6x series, the 6950/6970 is a "Cayman Island" model. Nvidia is less ... 'romantic?' with its naming, the 560ti is "Fermi GF114"

turns out there are no 560ti or 5950s at $200
at what resolution will i have to set the 560(no ti)/6870 to play on ultra?

hd 6870 is one of the best card for its price it supports higher resolution very well so it will be good.

this is 1080p gameplay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCIWsc9ZoWY

this is 1440x920 gameplay which you want it will be good enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVSJW6jjOIk

hd 6870 benchmarks review.

http://benchmarkreviews.com/index. [...] mitstart=5

If you want the eye candy, spend the cash. Would be tough for any sub $200 card to play bf3 on ultra at any resolution cept crappy ones like 1280x1024, sorry but it kills me when people want everything for nothing. Rant off

You said your res was 1280x1024, that monitors res is 1440x900.

The only thing I see wrong with it is its 17". Unless you upgrade to at least a 22", you will never see that systems potential.

ultra is no big deal in bf3 compared to high, especially in low resolutions. However it seems enough.. for SINGLE player

Because in multi player the game isn't scripted and stuff happens that may cause occasional drops in performance, fluctuations of fps that disturb the smoothness of the game etc.

A 6870 would be plenty to run it at that garbage resolution. And your monitor is 1440x900 as well.