In terms of which motherboard out of these to get? I'd lean towards the ASRock board because it has all the features on a MB that the others have (unless I missed something critical) plus it has the best audio chipset (ACL898) of the boards listed here.
You should be able to use your cooling fan on the CPU.
In terms of RAM go with whatever is the cheapest quality 1600 RAM available at time of purchase and look for Low Profile.
I went with 16 gigs of RAM because I figure may as well do the upgrade in one fell swoop. If you do with with 16 GB I would suggest, if you care about every single iota of performance, to get 2 8 GB sticks as opposed to 4 4 GB sticks. In some benchmarks I saw when I was researching there was an extremely minor difference between 4 sticks and 2 sticks with 2 sticks being a touch faster. I went with 4x4 anyway since it was cheaper.