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Wonderful WoW Wives

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Anonymous
a b Ý World of Warcraft
June 24, 2005 6:50:17 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.warcraft (More info?)

>
> She: There you go running off without me again!
> I: I thought you were following me!
> She: Duh- did you see all these skinnable raptors?
> I: [Wait.] Okay, are you ready now?
> She: Just a minute. [Potion boiling sounds emanate from her computer.]
> I: Are you making potions again? You're a freaking paladin!
> She: I forgot I have to send some to Cindy.
> I: Can't you do that while I'm at work?
> She: *glare*
>


Ha! Josh, this gave me a great big laugh, and it makes me want to share
my wife's antics. Most gamers think that those of us who have wives who
play are the luckiest bastards alive. But it's not all fun and games.
Here's a reenactment of my wife's play style; I'm not exagerating.

* * *

Me: Okay, sweetie, make sure you get these three quests right here.
Wife: Okay, I got them.
Me: Great! Let's go.

We start to run. After ONE minute:

Wife: Where are we going?
Me: To kill <whatever> for our first quest.
Wife: Why can't we kill these things right here? I want to work on my
skinning (what is it with chicks and skinning?!)
Me: Because those are gray, hon, we won't get any xp for those.
Wife: Who cares, I want to skin something.
Me: *sigh* Okay.

We stop for ten minutes to kill and skin gray MOBs to keep her happy and
interested.

Me: Okay, babe, let's get moving.
Wife: Why can't we just stay here?
Me: Because we have to kill <whatever> for our quest.
Wife: Why do we "have" to do that? This isn't supposed to be work.
Me: I know, sweetie, but you want to level up, right?
Wife: I don't care. I don't want to run around so much. It's boring.
Me: Fine. We'll stay here and kill these murlocs ... and this rabbit.
Wife: NO DON'T KILL THE -- AAAAGH!
Me: Settle down, it's not real.
Wife: Did you hear the sound it made?! It SQUEAKED! Why did you do
that?! I HATE it when you do that!
Me: It's okay, you can skin it.

After a terrible moment of conflicted silence she skins the rabbit, and
is happy again.

Me: Can we go do our quest now? You can skin as we go.
Wife: I guess.
Me: Okay, follow close now, everything around here is really high level
and if we get attacked we might not --
Wife: I'm killing that Kodo!
Me: What the -- No!

"That Kodo" turns out to be a whole TRIBE. I gather up aggro and die
while she skips to safety and laughs and maybe apologizes. Later she
will claim she didn't "see" all the other Kodo, just one. As I make the
marathon from the graveyard she fishes.

Wife: Where are you?
Me: I'm running from the graveyard, hon. Died, remember?
Wife: I'm bored.
Me: One more minute.

I reach her, heal up, and we're off. TWO minutes pass.

Wife: WHERE are we going?!
Me: Dear, we are going to kill <whatever> for our quest.
Wife: You don't have to get mad. What quest?
Me: Does it really matter what it's called? It's a quest, we're doing
it. We're having fun. Just follow me, will you?
Wife: I need pink paw.

I play a Druid. "Pink paw" is Mark of the Wild, which she refuses to
call by its proper name. It is, always has been, and always will be,
"pink paw." I do not make this up.

I cast Mark of the Wild on her, and we move on.

Wife: Ugh! This keyboard is SO uncomfortable! Will you get me one --
no, two pillows? And move the monitor over there?
Me: Over THERE?
Wife: Well, my neck hurts!
Me: Can we do this later?
Wife: My NECK hurts.
Me: Okay okay okay.

We stop in the middle of a zone we really shouldn't be in while I fetch
pillows and adjust her monitor. By the time she has all the appropriate
cushioning and all the angles are perfect, we've both been killed by
wandering MOBs. Now I'm getting a little frustrated, and I mutter a few
choice oaths.

Wife: It's okay, poopsie, I'm comfortable and ready to play now.
Me: Great.
Wife: Pink paw, please.

We buff up and start running. Through a miracle of good fortune we
arrive at our destination and begin killing <whatever> for our quest. It
takes aproximately three minutes to realize she never picked up the quest.

Me: *vile cussing* It's not shareable.
Wife: Who cares? Here's water; can we fish instead?
Me: *beaten, defeated, weary* Yeah, let's fish.
Wife: My pole's broken ...
Me: Take mine. I'll go buy another.
Wife: You're not leaving me here alone!

She fishes, I swim. Some days I'd rather just go outside and sit in the
dirt.

* * *

I'd love to hear some other stories about WoW wives/girlfriends.

Shadrack

More about : wonderful wow wives

Anonymous
a b Ý World of Warcraft
June 24, 2005 1:08:59 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.warcraft (More info?)

Pink Paw, a classic! Though I'd like to hear how she decribes some of the
other buffs that are less defined! I might go around calling it pink paw
too and see if it catches on, you never know this time next year it might be
listed on wikipedia :) 

I want to get my gf playing WoW as she is going to get a new computer for
her birthday, though perhaps I shouldn't bother now!
Anonymous
a b Ý World of Warcraft
June 24, 2005 3:30:37 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.warcraft (More info?)

> She fishes, I swim. Some days I'd rather just go outside and sit in the
> dirt.
>
> * * *
>
> I'd love to hear some other stories about WoW wives/girlfriends.
>

This just shows that you should never force your hobby upon your wife :) 

Anyway, my friend's girlfriend is a real good player. And just as
addicted to the game as any of us. So not all girlfriends/wives are bad
players..... :) 
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Anonymous
a b Ý World of Warcraft
June 24, 2005 6:01:54 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.warcraft (More info?)

> Pink Paw, a classic! Though I'd like to hear how she decribes some
> of the other buffs that are less defined! I might go around calling it
> pink paw too and see if it catches on, you never know this time next
> year it might be listed on wikipedia :) 

I laughed so hard I hurt.

I'm making a macro for Gift of the Wild immediately. "Pink Paws for
everyone!"

Regards,
Noal

--
Dharzhak - Night Elf Druid (60) on Stormrage [PvE]
Kemwer - Tauren Warrior (34) on Stormrage [PvE]
June 25, 2005 3:05:39 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.warcraft (More info?)

>
> I'd love to hear some other stories about WoW wives/girlfriends.
>
> Shadrack

I STILL envy you, dude. Be grateful for what you have.

Sure, they're work, but it's better than being alone.
!