what is good thermal paste for my amd ii x4 965.also what can i use to spread i do believe i did a poor job one the first one
It really doesn't matter, in the end there won't be a huge difference in performance between the good quality thermal paste. I usually use Artic Silver 5, MX-4 and Prolimatech pk-1. Whatever you do avoid the white runny junk that looks like Elmers glue. That stuff is horrible and IMO does next to nothing to help draw heat away from the CPU.
I used AS5 for years, but recently switched to MX-4. MX-4 has the added benifit of not being electrically conductive if you get too sloppy. Cleaning the surface of the CPU's heat spreader and the cooler's contact surface is very important. Once cleaned, don't touch it with your fingers.
This is for AS5, but pertains to most other TIMs as well: http://www.arcticsilver.com/methods.html