Archived from groups: comp.sys.ibm.pc.games.rpg (More info?)
Contributions welcome.
The Law Of Inverse Darwinism -- the young of any species are out in
the most accessible areas. The elders and warriors are hiding at the
bottom of the dungeons.
The Disneyland Law Of Heroism -- you will need to get in line to kill
the Ogre King, the Bandit Chief, or any other 'singular' individual.
You may end up killing him multiple times. Despite this, he never
recognizes you.
The Law Of Suicidal Stupidity -- although you can 'con' creatures to
see how deadly they are, they cannot -- so they will attack you even
though you will kill them before you're even aware they're attacking.
The New York Unconcerned Bystander Law -- so long as you stay more
than 10 or 15 feet from someone, you can brutally disembowel his best
buddy while he just stands there and watches. He won't do anything
unless you get too close.
The Magical Telepathy Law -- You can speak to anyone, anywhere, at
anytime. No enabling mechanism for this power is provided.
The Magical Telepathy Law, Part II -- If you kill a gnoll in the
forest with no witnesses, every other gnoll instantly knows it and
hates you for it.
The Doctors, Shmoctors, Law -- Any injury short of death heals merely
by sitting and waiting. Eating, drinking, or bandages causes it to
heal even faster.
The Death Is But A Distraction Law -- Dying will, at worst, cause you
to have temporary amnesia or a learning disability, as well as getting
your equipment slightly dinged. It is not to be feared, and may
sometimes be embraced as a means of quick travel.
The Backpack Of Strange Dimensions Law -- A backpack can hold 8 two
handed swords OR eight blades of grass. All items take up the same
amount of space.
The Quick Change Artist Law -- Getting into or out of a full suit of
armor take a second or two at most.
The PATRIOT Act Anti-Privacy Law -- Your name and the name of your
guild is instantly available for all to see, as is your profession and
how good you are at it.
The Stupid NPC Law -- Even if your name is "Stealy McThief" and your
profession is "50th level rogue", random strangers will trust you with
their precious documents and urgent messages.
The Nailed Down Lawn -- Of course, this might be because you can't
actually steal anything, except from monsters you're eviscerating
anyway.
The Magical Giant Stomach Law -- Rats and snakes can carry halberds,
plate armor, or even entire chests.
The Infinite Economy Law -- Despite the fact no one needs goblin
spleens, broken fangs, or orc eyeballs, merchants will buy them by the
truckload.
The Infinite Economy Law Part II -- Any merchant will buy anything.
Blacksmiths will buy tree sap. Food venders will buy rusty chain
boots. Potters will buy lumps of elemental essence.
Others?
*----------------------------------------------------*
Evolution doesn't take prisoners:Lizard
"I've heard of this thing men call 'empathy', but I've never
once been afflicted with it, thanks the Gods." Bruno The Bandit
http://www.mrlizard.com
Contributions welcome.
The Law Of Inverse Darwinism -- the young of any species are out in
the most accessible areas. The elders and warriors are hiding at the
bottom of the dungeons.
The Disneyland Law Of Heroism -- you will need to get in line to kill
the Ogre King, the Bandit Chief, or any other 'singular' individual.
You may end up killing him multiple times. Despite this, he never
recognizes you.
The Law Of Suicidal Stupidity -- although you can 'con' creatures to
see how deadly they are, they cannot -- so they will attack you even
though you will kill them before you're even aware they're attacking.
The New York Unconcerned Bystander Law -- so long as you stay more
than 10 or 15 feet from someone, you can brutally disembowel his best
buddy while he just stands there and watches. He won't do anything
unless you get too close.
The Magical Telepathy Law -- You can speak to anyone, anywhere, at
anytime. No enabling mechanism for this power is provided.
The Magical Telepathy Law, Part II -- If you kill a gnoll in the
forest with no witnesses, every other gnoll instantly knows it and
hates you for it.
The Doctors, Shmoctors, Law -- Any injury short of death heals merely
by sitting and waiting. Eating, drinking, or bandages causes it to
heal even faster.
The Death Is But A Distraction Law -- Dying will, at worst, cause you
to have temporary amnesia or a learning disability, as well as getting
your equipment slightly dinged. It is not to be feared, and may
sometimes be embraced as a means of quick travel.
The Backpack Of Strange Dimensions Law -- A backpack can hold 8 two
handed swords OR eight blades of grass. All items take up the same
amount of space.
The Quick Change Artist Law -- Getting into or out of a full suit of
armor take a second or two at most.
The PATRIOT Act Anti-Privacy Law -- Your name and the name of your
guild is instantly available for all to see, as is your profession and
how good you are at it.
The Stupid NPC Law -- Even if your name is "Stealy McThief" and your
profession is "50th level rogue", random strangers will trust you with
their precious documents and urgent messages.
The Nailed Down Lawn -- Of course, this might be because you can't
actually steal anything, except from monsters you're eviscerating
anyway.
The Magical Giant Stomach Law -- Rats and snakes can carry halberds,
plate armor, or even entire chests.
The Infinite Economy Law -- Despite the fact no one needs goblin
spleens, broken fangs, or orc eyeballs, merchants will buy them by the
truckload.
The Infinite Economy Law Part II -- Any merchant will buy anything.
Blacksmiths will buy tree sap. Food venders will buy rusty chain
boots. Potters will buy lumps of elemental essence.
Others?
*----------------------------------------------------*
Evolution doesn't take prisoners:Lizard
"I've heard of this thing men call 'empathy', but I've never
once been afflicted with it, thanks the Gods." Bruno The Bandit
http://www.mrlizard.com
RIVE_E
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