Disable auto detection junk in win 7

I want to disable all auto play, auto monitor detection, auto audio detection, ect. i want to tell windows that i have X amount of monitors and to always display on them, that i have 7.2 surround and to ALWAYS send audio out via HDMI. if i unplug the hdmi or a monitor i dont want windows to do jack S***, i just want it to sit there and play/display to a component that is not plugged in. all this auto detection crap does is waste my time and cause issues with my day to day computing.

how do i do this?
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More about disable auto detection junk
  1. Don't use windows 7. What good is an OS if it can't detect devices? There is no way to do this that I know of.
  2. Disable the plug and play service?
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