Conan Kill Everything

Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

The second finisher in the "Stupid Title Contest" now has a little game to match:

Conan Kill Everything ist currently available under

http://www.ifarchive.org/if-archive/unprocessed/ConanKillEverything.z5

I hope it is adequately stupid. Comments are appreciated.

Ian
21 answers Last reply
More about conan kill everything
  1. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Being actually married to a guy named Conan (dead serious, cross my
    heart!) I will have to play this game.

    Ian Haberkorn wrote:
    > The second finisher in the "Stupid Title Contest" now has a little
    game to match:
    >
    > Conan Kill Everything ist currently available under
    >
    >
    http://www.ifarchive.org/if-archive/unprocessed/ConanKillEverything.z5
    >
    > I hope it is adequately stupid. Comments are appreciated.
    >
    > Ian
  2. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    carolynmagruder@yahoo.com wrote:

    > Being actually married to a guy named Conan (dead serious, cross my
    > heart!) I will have to play this game.

    What smoke your father-in-law ? ;)

    Best regards from Italy,
    Dott. Piergiorgio.
  3. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Yeah i killed everything,but i can't kill that stupid crew
  4. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Ian Haberkorn" <haberkornj@yahoo.com> wrote in message
    news:fa8b3c27.0504130317.1f853dc9@posting.google.com...

    > The second finisher in the "Stupid Title Contest" now has a little game to
    > match:
    >
    > Conan Kill Everything ist currently available under
    >
    > http://www.ifarchive.org/if-archive/unprocessed/ConanKillEverything.z5
    >
    > I hope it is adequately stupid. Comments are appreciated.

    Very cute ! Only took me 179 turns (oh, well ...)

    My favourite quote is: "It is dead. Conan has killed it."

    As inspiring as your game is, there's no way I'm going to write "AAA, An
    Acrostic Adventure (Advocating Abolition of Alien Abductions Around America,
    Absolute Autonomy of Automobile Associations, and Abolition of Aggressive
    Advertising Agencies And Aardvark Antagonizers Acting As Actuarial
    Accountants)".

    David Fisher
  5. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    sisulu@africamail.com (Walter S.) wrote in message news:<3c4994a3.0504131415.61dfb83d@posting.google.com>...
    > Also, wouldn't you agree that the intricate semiotics of "Conan Kill
    > Everything" are an apotheosis of the traditional, Zork-led approach to
    > IF?

    LOL;)

    Joking aside , I think there is an unwritten rule with IF authors who
    haven't thought their games through : hide the story behind symbols ,
    and your audience will praise how symbolic your game is. That's why
    games like _The Dreamhold_ are much more fun to 'analyze' than play. I
    mean , seriously , what I'm looking for in a text adventure is a good
    story , memorable NPC:s , and a prose that doesn't make me cringe. If
    I don't get that , I don't really care if the author throws a bunch of
    symbols in my face. Is the apple in the cage Plotkin's comment of
    life's passing illusion? Does the green mask symbolize envy? Is the
    pyramid in the translucent dome an echo of the triangular layout of
    the game? These are things that Thinking Geeks like to 'analyze' and
    'reflect upon' , but from a player's point of view they don't add
    anything.
  6. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    sisulu@africamail.com (Walter S.) wrote in message news:<3c4994a3.0504131415.61dfb83d@posting.google.com>...
    > Also, wouldn't you agree that the intricate semiotics of "Conan Kill
    > Everything" are an apotheosis of the traditional, Zork-led approach to
    > IF?

    LOL;)

    Joking aside , I think there is an unwritten rule with IF authors who
    haven't thought their games through : hide the story behind symbols ,
    and your audience will praise how symbolic your game is. That's why
    games like _The Dreamhold_ are much more fun to 'analyze' than play. I
    mean , seriously , what I'm looking for in a text adventure is a good
    story , memorable NPC:s , and a prose that doesn't make me cringe. If
    I don't get that , I don't really care if the author throws a bunch of
    symbols in my face. Is the apple in the cage Plotkin's comment of
    life's passing illusion? Does the green mask symbolize envy? Is the
    pyramid in the translucent dome an echo of the triangular layout of
    the game? These are things that Thinking Geeks like to 'analyze' and
    'reflect upon' , but from a player's point of view they don't add
    anything.
  7. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Walter S. wrote:
    > Also, wouldn't you agree that the intricate semiotics of "Conan Kill
    > Everything" are an apotheosis of the traditional, Zork-led approach
    to
    > IF?

    Mike Pearce wrote:
    > LOL;)
    > <SNIP>

    Graham Grant wrote:
    > I find your prescriptive mode of discourse highly disconcerting.

    Amanda Peet wrote:
    > I wouldn't dismiss it quite as lightly, if I were you.
    > <SNIP>

    [Dr. Mildly Flatulent, replying in a public release]:

    In his eagerness to answer the above critics, Mr. PJ unfortunately
    fell, hands-first, onto his recently acquired and razor-sharp sword,
    the famous "Trollkiller". While most of the affected appendages have
    been successfully reattached, he is in no condition to indulge in any
    serious flamewars concerning his past, present or future posts on
    r.*.i.f. The estimable PJ asks that I say "Ppphhtttt" very noisily
    and spittily to all concerned parties.

    Signed,

    M. Flatulent, Chief Surgeon-in-Attendance.

    "I fart in your general direction." -- M. Python
  8. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    After looking up all your wonderful expressions in a dictionary, I
    think I have a confession to make:

    I wrote this game for the Conan that lives within each of us. We have
    barely begun to perceive the little worm that hides beneath the thin
    loincloth of what we call civilization. And no matter whether we find
    it in an apple, an oaken table or even in a pointed hat - what matters
    most is that we dared to look for it.

    I do not want to elaborate beyond this for fear of constraining the
    player's own perception. But if you all feel that the journey must go
    on, maybe Conan will have to return.

    Exhaustedly,
    Ian
  9. Archived from groups: rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Mike Pearce wrote:
    >
    > Joking aside , I think there is an unwritten rule with IF authors who
    > haven't thought their games through : hide the story behind symbols ,
    > and your audience will praise how symbolic your game is ...

    Woah. T's on a roll.

    best,
    james cunningham
  10. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    "peejay" <peejay@jay.com> skrev i meddelandet
    news:Idi7e.21895$d5.160836@newsb.telia.net...
    > The enemies are apparently the key objects, the actual physical embodiments
    > across the spectrum of the discourse. The wizard represents culture and
    > civilisation, while Conan is the barbarian, the Significant Other against
    > which civilisation defines itself. The act of killing deconstructs the
    > concept of civilisation and sets it in a surrealist landscape of neurotic
    > savagery. And what better embodiment of savagery than the crassly commercial
    > film industry? Now, let us move on to an analysis of the symbols:
    >
    > --The spider symbolises the mystery of birth and links all people in her
    > magic web. By killing the spider, Conan destroys civilisation's reproductive
    > powers.
    >
    > --The cat embodies loyalty and devotion, for which there is no place in
    > Conan's armageddon.
    >
    > --The pointed hat is the emblem of esoteric knowledge. No esoteric knowledge
    > in Conan's brave new world.
    >
    > --The fly symbolises the frailty of life, its passing illusion. Its buzz is
    > uncertain, stumbling, easily silenced.
    >
    > --The Golem represents a search for creativity, the search for Self and
    > self-portraiture: introspection. No place for creativity in Conan's mayham.
    >
    > --The table symbolises family relationships. One belongs at the table. The
    > table is a symbol of love and harmony, unity and good manners.
    >
    > --The loin cloth symbolises shame and humiliation. It is also one of the
    > last items on the "hitlist", the last emotion a society should jettison.
    >
    > By killing the "enemies", Conan performs a conceptual autopsy on
    > civilisation. Stripped it of its attributes it becomes an unbearable void,
    > thus leading to Conan's suicide.


    I'm curious what you make of the chicken bone and the worm?
  11. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    On 17-Apr-05 at 11:48pm -0700, <krochmal@sociologist.com> wrote:

    > I'm curious what you make of the chicken bone and the worm?

    Hey! Don't encourage him! :)

    -- :: ============================================================= ::
    :: %%%%%%%%% "Glenn P.," <C128UserDELETE-THIS@FVI.Net> %%%%%%%%% ::
    :: ------------------------------------------------------------- ::
    :: "When the moon hits the sky :: "When an eel bites your toe ::
    :: like a big pizza pie, :: And it just won't let go -- ::
    :: That's Amore!" :: THAT's A Moray!" ::
    :: ------------------------------------------------------------- ::
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    :: ============================================================= ::

    :: Take Note Of The Spam Block On My E-Mail Address! ::
  12. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    I just wanted to post that I've been a closet fan of 'Conan Kill
    Everything' ever since it's contraception.

    I just complemented that stance by creating my newest mudd player on
    http://www.kingdomofloathing.com under the name "Conan Kill
    Everything".

    Copyright infringement policies to aphill@altavista.com, we'll get back
    to ya. wink.

    A.P. Hill
  13. Archived from groups: rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    On 13 Apr 2005 04:17:46 -0700, haberkornj@yahoo.com (Ian Haberkorn)
    wrote:

    >The second finisher in the "Stupid Title Contest" now has a little game to match:
    >
    >Conan Kill Everything ist currently available under
    >
    >http://www.ifarchive.org/if-archive/unprocessed/ConanKillEverything.z5
    >
    >I hope it is adequately stupid. Comments are appreciated.
    >
    >Ian

    damnit, i should be the worse player ever.. i'm stuck, bloody
    woodword.. has the apple something to do with it?
  14. Archived from groups: rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Gu wrote:
    > damnit, i should be the worse player ever.. i'm stuck, bloody
    > woodword.. has the apple something to do with it?

    I was stuck on that for a while. You might want to turn your attention
    to other things until something appropriate comes to hand.
  15. Archived from groups: rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    On Thu, 28 Apr 2005 18:34:42 +0100, Arthur Boff
    <arthur.boff@merton.oxford.ac.uk> wrote:

    >Gu wrote:
    >> damnit, i should be the worse player ever.. i'm stuck, bloody
    >> woodword.. has the apple something to do with it?
    >
    >I was stuck on that for a while. You might want to turn your attention
    >to other things until something appropriate comes to hand.

    i've just killed that worm, i have my cloth in pieces.. well, just
    wandering around waiting for an idea to pop into my mind ;) "tie the
    cloth" or the improbable "make a rope out of the cloth" don't work! eh
    eh..
    anyway, there should be more and more adventures like this..
  16. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    aphill@altavista.com wrote:
    > I just wanted to post that I've been a closet fan of 'Conan Kill
    > Everything' ever since it's contraception.
    >
    > I just complemented that stance by creating my newest mudd player on
    > http://www.kingdomofloathing.com under the name "Conan Kill
    > Everything".
    >
    > Copyright infringement policies to aphill@altavista.com, we'll get back
    > to ya. wink.
    >
    > A.P. Hill
    >

    Wow. A.P Hill! It's been a while, my man! When is Amissville II coming
    out? I made an entry for it in the Stupid Titles Comp, but I came in
    last place. I guess everyone thought that Amissville II: The Legend of
    Creepy Hollow wasn't stupid enough. But hey, it was a low-brow rip off
    of Washington Irving and it had Amissville in it. Two stupidities for
    the price of one, you know? ;)

    -- He who posts

    "I seek the social ownership of property, the abolition of the
    propertied class, and the sole control of those who produce wealth.
    Communism is the goal." -- Roger Baldwin, founder of the ACLU.
  17. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    There's a Release 2 for Conan Kill everything at

    http://www.ifarchive.org/if-archive/games/zcode/ConanKillEverything.z5

    Some unintentionally dumb stuff has been corrected (thanks various
    forum members!) such as the Weird Zombie Fly Bug.

    I also included some of the funny comments that were made here. Emails
    asking for permission were not answered or returned errors, so please
    direct objections to being quoted to my email address.

    Ian
  18. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Ian Haberkorn wrote:
    > The second finisher in the "Stupid Title Contest" now has a little game to match:
    >
    > Conan Kill Everything ist currently available under
    >
    > http://www.ifarchive.org/if-archive/unprocessed/ConanKillEverything.z5
    >
    > I hope it is adequately stupid. Comments are appreciated.
    >
    > Ian

    Quite funny game, thanks for creating/sharing it :)

    LOL... although 'stupid' it was enjoyable to play.

    Regards,
    RootShell

    --
    RootShell, Lisbon, Portugal, Europe, Earth ;)
    To protect against spam, the address in the "From:" header is not valid.
    In any case, you should reply to the group so that everyone can benefit.
    If you must send me a private email, use -> RootShell AT netcabo DOT pt
  19. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    haberkornj@yahoo.com (Ian Haberkorn) wrote in message news:<fa8b3c27.0505031005.5cbe5a53@posting.google.com>...
    > There's a Release 2 for Conan Kill everything at
    >
    > http://www.ifarchive.org/if-archive/games/zcode/ConanKillEverything.z5
    >
    > Some unintentionally dumb stuff has been corrected (thanks various
    > forum members!) such as the Weird Zombie Fly Bug.
    >
    > I also included some of the funny comments that were made here. Emails
    > asking for permission were not answered or returned errors, so please
    > direct objections to being quoted to my email address.
    >
    > Ian

    Man, I've missed out by punting this thread.

    I was merely poking fun at Pete Jasper's musings on The Dreamhold,
    which are an excellent example of Critiscism Gone Astray, and are much
    more amusing than anything I'll ever write.

    But yeah, sure, you have my permission, if Mr. Jasper doesn't mind.
  20. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Jacek (posting as "Amanda Peet")

    > My point was, I guess, that most reviews of Plotkin's games are
    > written by his friends and tend to be rather vague and somewhat
    > extatic.

    I will tell you a secret, Jacek.

    There's no perceived "Establishment", no "friends of friends" who
    review some authors more kindly than others. What there is are people
    who have done a large amount of work and written a good deal and who
    are therefore recognized by name. That's it. You can break into that
    group in perhaps six months to a year of hard work, if you care to.
    You don't even have to be an author or a language developer -- post
    intelligently for long enough, or write a lot of reviews, or run a
    contest or two, and you're there. Granted, you may not want to do
    this; but please realize that most of what gets you to the supposed
    center of a community like this is simple sweat-equity.

    So far your trolling hasn't really bothered me: a minor nuisance at
    best. I do fear, however, that by polarizing the community your
    trolling may discourage people from posting legitimate criticism of
    games they find flawed. You're not the only one here who thinks that
    "The Dreamhold" is not a good game, but by constantly attacking Andrew
    Plotkin (for whatever reasons you may have) you discourage others from
    expressing their honest criticism. They fear that any critiscism that
    isn't ingratiating enough (the "apotheosis" claims of a certain
    reviewer whose name I won't mention is a case in point) will be looked
    upon as trolling. If so is the case, that would be bad, but it's hard
    to assess how much it's happening.
  21. Archived from groups: rec.arts.int-fiction,rec.games.int-fiction (More info?)

    Jacek (posting as "Amanda Peet")

    > My point was, I guess, that most reviews of Plotkin's games are
    > written by his friends and tend to be rather vague and somewhat
    > extatic.

    I will tell you a secret, Jacek.

    There's no perceived "Establishment", no "friends of friends" who
    review some authors more kindly than others. What there is are people
    who have done a large amount of work and written a good deal and who
    are therefore recognized by name. That's it. You can break into that
    group in perhaps six months to a year of hard work, if you care to.
    You don't even have to be an author or a language developer -- post
    intelligently for long enough, or write a lot of reviews, or run a
    contest or two, and you're there. Granted, you may not want to do
    this; but please realize that most of what gets you to the supposed
    center of a community like this is simple sweat-equity.

    So far your trolling hasn't really bothered me: a minor nuisance at
    best. I do fear, however, that by polarizing the community your
    trolling may discourage people from posting legitimate criticism of
    games they find flawed. You're not the only one here who thinks that
    "The Dreamhold" is not a good game, but by constantly attacking Andrew
    Plotkin (for whatever reasons you may have) you discourage others from
    expressing their honest criticism. They fear that any critiscism that
    isn't ingratiating enough (the "apotheosis" claims of a certain
    reviewer whose name I won't mention is a case in point) will be looked
    upon as trolling. If so is the case, that would be bad, but it's hard
    to assess how much it's happening.
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