The Little Johnny joke thread

Post your little johnny jokes here. I go first:

1.
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well, Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well, Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."



2.
Little Johnny is in class and his teacher has an activity for the class to learn the alphabet better.

"Okay class, here is what we're gonna do. I will pick a letter. I will then choose one person in the class to say a word that starts with that letter, and then use that word in a sentence okay? The first letter is C."

A few hands go up, and sure enough, Little Johnny's is right there, waving back and forth frantically. Now the teacher thinks to herself that there are some bad words that start with C so she can't let LJ answer this one.

"Okay Mary. Go ahead."

"Cat. I have a cat named Mitsy."

"Very good Mary. Okay class the next letter is P."

Again, hands go up. LJ is waving his arm back and forth even more frantically this time, but the teacher can't pick him again because there are some bad P words.

"Okay Ben. Go ahead."

"Pig. Yesterday I went to the zoo and saw a pig."

"Very good Ben. Okay class, the next letter is R."

Sure enough there's LJ again... Hand waving back and forth, and this time he's anxiously muttering 'pick me pick me pick me'. The teacher thinks for a second and can't come up with any bad words that start with R.

"Okay Johnny," she says very tentatively, "go ahead."

"RATS. RATS WITH HUGE F|_|CKING C0CKS!"



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