Tom's Hardware > Forum > Old Man/Woman's Club > Other > The Buffalo Theory
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RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 01:25:29 AM

It's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest one. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back of the herd that are killed off first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the overall general health of the herd improves over time.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, we know that excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain ceels, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, fellas, is why you always feel smarter after having a few beers.

Now exuse me if you will, I need to go grab a cold beer!!!


<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

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RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 02:05:01 AM
- 0 +

for you also have a higher risk of having to naw your own arm off to avoid waking the Coyotte Ugly you may find yourself beside when morning comes.


<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
mrface   12-07-2004 at 02:22:42 AM
- 0 +

<A HREF="http://forumz.tomshardware.com/community/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=350558#350558" target="_new">http://forumz.tomshardware.com/community/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=350558#350558</A>

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 02:23:54 AM
- 0 +

:frown: That second part wern't there...

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 02:26:21 AM
- 0 +

Types of sex

SOCIAL SECURTIY SEX
Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special, I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on."


<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 02:27:09 AM
- 0 +

Hallway Sex

Heard of a couple when they were young and first married they had sex everywhere in the house, after 20 years they have hallway sex,- as they pass in the hallway they say fock you to each other.


<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 02:27:54 AM
- 0 +

Old woman hauls off and slaps her old husband. Old man asks why she slapped him. She said it was for 53 years of lousy sex. He thought for a bit then slapped her just as hard. She asks why he did that. He said it was for knowing the difference.

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 02:30:14 AM
- 0 +

Man and wife out for dinner

and a totally hot babe walks over and slaps a big ole wet one on the ole boy (might even have slipped him the tongue)! and walks away with a "see you later" and a wink.

Wife is instant mad! "WHO WAS THAT?"

Tired of living a lie the man answers, "My mistress!"

"I want a divorce!"

Man says fine! Just realize that that will mean that you will no longer have summers in the Med, winter skiing in Vail, the country club, etc.... No more unlimited credit card limit."

ABout that time another young babe walks over and slaps a lip lock on another fellow who is there friend.

The wife says and who was THAT kissing Bob?"

"His mistress."

The wife continues eating and locks up as the young lady and says,
"Our mistress is much prettier isn't she?"


<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 02:34:51 AM
- 0 +

While attending a marriage seminar, Cameron and his wife listend to the instructor declare; "It is essential that couples know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the men; "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Nate leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently, and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

The rest of the story is not pleasant.

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
Auburn9698   12-07-2004 at 02:18:22 PM
- 0 +

Heh-heh, hallway sex. <A HREF="http://forumz.tomshardware.com/community/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=352621#352621" target="_new">That's RC's favorite kind.</A>

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>
"That was just instinct. Kind of like running from the cops." -- Marquis Weeks, TB, U. of Virginia

Reply to Auburn9698
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 02:27:17 PM
- 0 +

Funny how ya marry the one you love, sex is great, in-fact an intergral part of the relationship, then the years pass, kids come, and then wtf happened to SEX...must be the subconscious finally realizes what it was that caused all this in the first place and retaliates!

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
RCPilot   12-07-2004 at 03:09:13 PM
- 0 +

:lol: !!!!



Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS! :wink:
<font color=red>{FMCD}</font color=red>

Reply to RCPilot
mrface   12-07-2004 at 03:18:10 PM
- 0 +

Quote :

Cameron and his wife listend to the instructor declare



LMFAO!!!

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 03:29:08 PM
- 0 +

was wondering if anyone would catch that. ha

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
Auburn9698   12-07-2004 at 03:32:24 PM
- 0 +

His wife's version of marriage counseling probably just consists of cocking the hammer.

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>
"That was just instinct. Kind of like running from the cops." -- Marquis Weeks, TB, U. of Virginia

Reply to Auburn9698
mrface   12-07-2004 at 03:46:23 PM
- 0 +

or hammering my cock...

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 03:48:34 PM
- 0 +

ohhh, young love, hallway sex is what you have to look forward to if ya ain't lying!

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
mrface   12-07-2004 at 03:52:48 PM
- 0 +

heheh, i dont live with my wife so loving comes scarce for me anyways. but hat will change in about 6 months hopefully.

if you want a good picture of my life, cast sissy spacek(young carrie version) [thats who everyone says that my wife looks like] into the movie misery and I am the guy getting his ankles broken,

but then again i wouldnt have it any other way, i love her :wink:

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
Auburn9698   12-07-2004 at 03:54:32 PM
- 0 +

With an actual sledgehammer?

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>
"That was just instinct. Kind of like running from the cops." -- Marquis Weeks, TB, U. of Virginia

Reply to Auburn9698
mrface   12-07-2004 at 04:02:59 PM
- 0 +

yeah of course, like peter gabriel? no i guess not, lmao.

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
Auburn9698   12-07-2004 at 04:04:50 PM
- 0 +

May have to start calling you Crepe-Dick.

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>
"That was just instinct. Kind of like running from the cops." -- Marquis Weeks, TB, U. of Virginia

Reply to Auburn9698
mrface   12-07-2004 at 04:14:49 PM
- 0 +

lmao.

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 04:32:55 PM
- 0 +

sorry to hear that, did not know yall were on the splits. seriously

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
mrface   12-07-2004 at 04:38:00 PM
- 0 +

were not on the splits, im stationed in florida and she goes to school in auburn, thanx for the concern though.

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
Auburn9698   12-07-2004 at 04:39:29 PM
- 0 +

Rich doesn't know about Steph yet. LOL! :lol:

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>
"That was just instinct. Kind of like running from the cops." -- Marquis Weeks, TB, U. of Virginia

Reply to Auburn9698
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 04:40:07 PM
- 0 +

Glad to hear that, make the reunion that much better then!

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
mrface   12-07-2004 at 04:51:05 PM
- 0 +

yeah i see her about twice a month.

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
mrface   12-07-2004 at 04:51:45 PM
- 0 +

you know its always something different with us anyways, hell i dont know half the time what the hell is going on.lol.

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
RichPLS   12-07-2004 at 04:59:28 PM
- 0 +

No man ever does.

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Reply to RichPLS
mrface   12-07-2004 at 09:26:12 PM
- 0 +

i think you meant to put no straight man ever does.



"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
eden   12-09-2004 at 05:09:13 AM
- 0 +

I saw that!!!

--
<font color=blue>Ede</font color=blue>

Reply to eden
mrface   12-09-2004 at 05:13:19 AM
- 0 +

saw what?

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
eden   12-09-2004 at 05:55:21 AM
- 0 +

That last post. :tongue:

--
<font color=blue>Ede</font color=blue>

Reply to eden
Auburn9698   12-09-2004 at 01:16:39 PM
- 0 +

You saw it before he wrote it? SoD?

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>
"That was just instinct. Kind of like running from the cops." -- Marquis Weeks, TB, U. of Virginia

Reply to Auburn9698
eden   12-10-2004 at 05:27:28 AM
- 0 +

I can read into PF's mind. Now he's thinking about rimming, and it may or may not involve you and a plush bear.

--
<font color=blue>Ede</font color=blue>

Reply to eden
zpyrd   12-10-2004 at 09:04:16 AM
- 0 +

Just rimming? Why stop a rimming when you can feltch?

<font color=red><i>Doctor Hooter</i></font color=red> <A HREF="http://www.page3.com/" target="_new"><b>(·Y·)</b></A>

Reply to zpyrd
WingDing   12-10-2004 at 10:18:28 AM
- 0 +

Or continue straight into a good scatology session?

:eek: I don't only break your heart, I also break your pelvis :eek:

Reply to WingDing
mrface   12-10-2004 at 05:22:10 PM
- 0 +

lmao

"Never underestimate the predictability of Stupidity."
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Neurotic Narcissist.}=-</A>
<A HREF="http://www.youreadopted.com/" target="_new">Guess what?</A>

Reply to mrface
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