it was my belief that motoblur (like htc's sense) is pretty much hardwired into the phone's rom. disabling (or deleting) some elements can cause phone instability.
running a 3rd party rom like miui or cyanogen will get rid of all that annoying crapware (and motoblur) but you wont be able to use any special apps included in motoblur. this requires jailbreaking your phone.
you can disable any fancy type of launcher bar motoblur gives you by using another launcher but all of your menus and core apps will still be in the motoblur style. your phone will still be using the provided rom but it will just not use the launcher as the default.
....as far as the resetting goes....what resets? the phone turns off then on? the wifi connection resets? something else?
if you install an update to a program the program itself will restart itself.