So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes,
You know you're from California if:
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still cant afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your childs 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You cant remember . . . is pot illegal?
6. Youve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You cant remember . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10.Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap & sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You cant remember . . . is pot illegal?
14. Its barely sprinkling rain and theres a report on every news station: STORM WATCH.
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
16. Its barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your drivers license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
Only in California. Not sure if anyone else will find this funny but I do.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Heh-heh, some of those are pretty good.
But redneck jokes 0wn j00.
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Rednecks have a clear advantage though since there is so much more to make fun of.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Git R Done!
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
why do you gusy gotta be so racist towards rednecks
-------
Work sucks.
cos u dun gone and did stuff
<font color=red>DOG</font color=red> <font color=orange>SOLVES</font color=orange> <font color=red>CANADA</font color=red>
Rednecks as a race. I suppose it would be funny if redneck traits were handed down genetically.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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What, you didn't see me post about the redneck hideout?
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Awesome!!!!
I once thought that Auburn wasn't a Redneck & called everyone else a redneck, including myslef!!!!
Now the turth comes out!!!!!!
Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!
The ole "takes one to know one," right? Heh-heh, there may be a little bit of it that's seeped into the ole blood down here.
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Hey, been meaning to congratulate you!
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Umm.....what for?
<---nervous
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
LOL. I can't rememeber sorry.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Maybe if you spent less time trying to remember whether or not pot is illegal, you could tell me!
<pre>Note to RC: BTW, I indulged with some Levi Garrett last weekend. Ssshhh, don't tell the rest of the forum!</pre><p>
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Indulged with Levi Garrett! You're gay too!?!?!?
WTF is going on here? I'm leaving for a more heterosexual forum. I'm pretty sure I'm the only straight guy left from North America here now that we lost you to the temptations of Eden.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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I was kidding
-------
Work sucks.
*crickets chirping*
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
<b>HEY</b>
<font color=red>!#&$</font color=red>
---<font color=blue><i><b>There's the facts</font color=blue> ....<font color=green> the twisted facts </font color=green>... the distorted facts</font color=blue>,...<font color=red>THEN THERE'S JOURNALISM!</font color=red></i></b>
You still getting hope head daily? I have a memorial setup in your honor after hearing about this. Well it's more of a voodoo doll, but [-peep-] it.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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You're not from N.A. are you? I always figured you were French.
[/low blow]
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Not daily, but when offered and requested. She was under the knife today, though, so it may be a couple days. I'll try to survive!
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
| Quote : [/low blow] |
Amen to that.
<font color=red>!#&$</font color=red>
---<font color=blue><i><b>There's the facts</font color=blue> ....<font color=green> the twisted facts </font color=green>... the distorted facts</font color=blue>,...<font color=red>THEN THERE'S JOURNALISM!</font color=red></i></b>
Nothing serious I hope.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Nah.
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
| Quote :
|
What's so funny about that? If you can't taste the difference then you're either drinking your coffee so much diluted that it isn't worthy of the label "coffee" anymore, or you're braindead. And I'm not even from California.
BigMac
<A HREF="http://www.p3int.com/product_center_NWO_The_Story.asp" target="_new">New World Order</A>
I prefer Guatemalan and Costa Rican coffees...No Starbucks here so we still have good coffee stores, well one good coffee store anyway...
<font color=red>GO BUCKS!</font color=red>
Honduras Coffee!!!! Great!!!!!
Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!
another favorite!
<font color=red>GO BUCKS!</font color=red>
And you guys aren't even from California.
BigMac
<A HREF="http://www.p3int.com/product_center_NWO_The_Story.asp" target="_new">New World Order</A>
Nope... I spent some time in Honduras when my folks were in the Peace Corps.... I brought home as much coffee as I could while they were there...
Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!
Free office Maxwell House roxx j00!
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
I'm just here to remind all of you that today you must pay homage to the superiority of California.
Bow down!
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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I laugh at you. And why, exactly, do you want us to bow down? I'm not doing that. At least, not without my protect-o-cork, buddy.
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
You can use your cork if you wish. You have Eden within a few thousand miles of you so your worries are understandable.
Now pay homage!
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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I gotcher homage right here, pal.
*gives the middle finger salute*
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Effective immediately California Border Patrol has orders to shoot you on site.
Death to the infidels!
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Tell em to grab a good book and some doughnuts and pull up a chair. They'll be waiting for quite a while.
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Whatcha guys got over there for tourist spots? I'll be in New Orleans in 2 weeks for about a week or so. I doubt I'll get far but just in case...
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Haha, you probably won't make it east of Slidell.
But, just in case, these can probably answer it quicker than I can. I like Mobile. Really been wanting to get down to Bellingrath Gardens with my camera. Then, of course, there's the hot chick mecca known as Auburn University.
<A HREF="http://www.touralabama.org/" target="_new">http://www.touralabama.org/</A>
<A HREF="http://www.state.al.us/visiting/index.php" target="_new">http://www.state.al.us/visiting/index.php</A>
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Hot chick mecha? I've gone to both Stockholm's University and San Diego State and I can't imagine it getting any better than that. Especially SU.
What's Slidell?
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Just a town east of New Orleans, other side of the Lake Pontchartrain bridge. Was always our stop for Waffle House as we dragged our asses back home from Mardi Gras.
Oohh, the Dead Sea Scrolls are in Mobile through April 24. I know you'd like to see that.
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Believe it or not I have gone to see a lot of religious artifacts.
Nothing has impressed me yet. I don't know why I bother.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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I'm just going to see what I can get away with while I'm there. Everything will be new since I've never been to that part of the country so it should be fun.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Make sure you try the Hand Grenades at The Tropical Isle. And a Pat O'Briens hurricane.
More suggestions, from a regular: Coyote Ugly, the Cat’s Meow, Rick’s Cabaret, Camellia Grill, on St. Charles. (I can't even remember if I've been to those or not.
)
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A><P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1><EM>Edited by Auburn9698 on 03/29/05 08:26 AM.</EM></FONT></P>
get a skylab from pat o's as well
I work therefore I am conservative.
<A HREF="http://www.cameronwilliamson.com" target="_new">-={Psychotic Sociopath.}=-</A>
Hmm, either missed out on that one or don't remember it. Hopefully I'll correct that if I get to go back this year.
<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>
Damn, I have a full menu waiting for me there don't I?
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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Heh heh, yeah the Cat's Meow is the place for Karoke for sure!
An Pat's for daks!
Good memories just flooded my mind with that post!
<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>
You don't want me singing Karaoke. It's just not fair to the other patrons.
<pre><font color=red>A64 3200+ Winchester
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same here, but at the cats meow they really have quality amateurs belting out tunes
<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>
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