For men only ..

A friend of mine sent that hoping that I would laugh... well, I did!


OPEN TO MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

sign up early and get a discount on registration

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available

<font color=red>Sig space for rent. make your offer.</font color=red>

Yep.. then I sent her that... hoping that she would laugh.. havent had any news yet...


The following is from an ACTUAL 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for everyday married life.

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

<font color=red>Sig space for rent. make your offer.</font color=red>

It is not uncommon for dead bodies to have smiles on their faces. However it is not likely that they died smiling. Just thought this little trivia would cheer you up some.


BigMac

<A HREF="http://www.p3int.com/product_center_NWO_The_Story.asp" target="_new">New World Order</A>

Dude...how you been? no really get that smile off your face

<font color=red>GO BUCKS!</font color=red>

Woke up at two, can't sleep...have a major flux up of my own making. In my haste to build a pals PC I clicked on memory for a lap-top...now I have to RMA the wrong memory and re-order. I was gonna deliver it saturday...now I have to explain to him what a dumbass I am...

<font color=red>GO BUCKS!</font color=red>

OK, you laughed? Let's see, you're either a chick, or single, or both. Because a married guy would just smack his forehead, shake his head, or grunt at this.

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>

Well, he could be straight. A list like that is reason enough for any straight single guy to laugh at us married fellas. If pat's a married gay guy, would he find the list funny? Hmm, good question. May depend on if he plays the role of husband or wife.

Although, if gay, hopefully pat's a hot chick that's into sending out personal videos.

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>

Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.

They bagged six.

As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose.

The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off. Climbing out of the wreckage, one Norski asked the other, "Any idea where we are?" "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed last year."


<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

One attaboy awarded to the "Two Norwegian hunters" joke.

Good one.




<font color=red>!#&$</font color=red> ---<font color=blue><i><b>There's the facts</font color=blue> ....<font color=green> the twisted facts </font color=green>... the distorted facts</font color=blue>,...<font color=red>THEN THERE'S JOURNALISM!</font color=red></i></b>

To clear things up, I'm not gay, I'm not a chick I'm a single guy enjoying every minutes of my liberty...

Talking of liberty.. It is now fryday, the week end start.. I'll get out to meet other chicks hopefully and have fun..

OHhhhhh, you're married and that hurts.. Ok, I'll have a dull week end...

<font color=red>Sig space for rent. make your offer.</font color=red>

LOL!

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
<A HREF="http://www.upsitedown.co.il/anim/rest40.html" target="_new">"What I am, I am an alchemist....I take money and turn it into kaka." --Mike Tyson</A>

You're a blonde at heart.

BigMac

<A HREF="http://www.p3int.com/product_center_NWO_The_Story.asp" target="_new">New World Order</A>

That doesn't change a thing, Blondie

BigMac

<A HREF="http://www.p3int.com/product_center_NWO_The_Story.asp" target="_new">New World Order</A>

LOL

Excluding the subject of the birds and the bees, I'm guessing.....

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange> 13-0!
"Sooner or later, I'll probably get what I deserve. I'll probably be dead and gone, but people will say, 'That mother was awesome.'" -Charles Barkley

He's so innocent he's not even a virgin yet.

I don't only break your heart, I also break your pelvis