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January 18, 2011 4:48:19 AM


A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.
He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

"I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?"

The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"

More about : joke

January 19, 2011 9:09:00 AM

LOL. Classic, yet simple!
March 28, 2011 4:44:55 PM

LOL that was funny!
Related resources
March 28, 2011 4:49:40 PM

I have one here too about Chuck Norris

chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table,because the only element he understood was the element of surprise.

And another one

The Stupid guy and the doctor

there was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "doctor I have a fever" the doctor said "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine" the sick one said " but doctor, i only have 3 spoons what shall i do?"
March 29, 2011 2:00:06 PM

So a Stripper, Rabbi, and a Doctor walk into a bar....

The bartender turns to them and says "What is this some kind of joke?!?"
March 30, 2011 12:58:27 AM

lol i may be drunk but oldmangamer_73 you have made my night good sir
March 30, 2011 5:36:57 AM

You Might Be A Missouri Redneck if....

You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.
You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.

more...

The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your considered an expert on wormbeds.
Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
You've ever bought a used cap.
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You've ever stolen toilet paper.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.


and still more...

You clothing designer is Oskosh B'Gosh
if you own a bolo tie.
you ever wore a tube top to a wedding.
if you ever wore a baseball cap to a wedding.
If your baseball cap says "Dekalb" or "Cat."
If the roof on your house has "MERRIMEC CAVERNS-JESSEE JAMES HIDEOUT" painted on it (WALL DRUG would qualify for this too)
You think the joke " a calf poked his head in the silo and said is my fodder in here?" is a knee slapper.
If you ever picked your teeth from a catalogue OR with a long piece of grass.
You think a Volvo is a part of the female anatomy.
If you have ever castrated anything.
if you ever broke a tooth on birdshot at dinner.
If your fishing poles leaning against the doorame have dired bait still on the hooks.
If you ever warn your kids not to go into a certain building on your property because it might fall in on them.
If all of your shoes have mud or poop on them.
If your bluejeans have cuffs.
if all of your wife's clothes are "stretch"
if there are packages in your freezer marked "Squirrel"
if you ever recieved a box of bandanna hankerchiefs for christmas


May 1, 2011 11:48:11 PM

3 deceased truckers arive at the pearly gates and meet with St Peter. He asks them 3 questions. Have you ever exceeded the speed limit? Have you ever exceeded the load limit on your truck? And have you ever cheated on your wife?
Truckers 1 and 2 say no to all 3 questions. Trucker 3 says I'm probably going to hell for this but yes I have exceeded the speed limit and overloaded my truck. It was the only way to make any money. And I have only cheated on my wife one time with a girl from Albuquerque let me tell you about her. Am I going to hell St Peter? St Peter thinks about it and replies - No they are for lying you and I are going to Albuquerque.
Dave
May 5, 2011 2:03:41 AM

common guys - this is a classic
May 6, 2011 8:21:02 PM

Alright,
A Blonde walks into a bar.....









and says: "ouch"

And my favorite:

A byte walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender asks him "What's wrong?" Byte says "Parity error." Bartender nods and says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."
May 20, 2011 1:07:33 AM

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender asks (baddaboom) Why the long face?
May 20, 2011 5:03:30 AM

A true story told by Arnold Schwarznegger about growing up up poor in rural Austria. One day his older brother brought home a TV set. Arnold was excited never having seen a TV before. So He and his brother sat in front of the set watching TV all afternoon. Arnold's brother commented how great it was they finally had TV of their own to watch. Arnold repied to his brother, "yeah, it would really be great if we had electricity!"
May 20, 2011 8:16:10 AM

badge said:
A true story told by Arnold Schwarznegger about growing up up poor in rural Austria. One day his older brother brought home a TV set. Arnold was excited never having seen a TV before. So He and his brother sat in front of the set watching TV all afternoon. Arnold's brother commented how great it was they finally had TV of their own to watch. Arnold repied to his brother, "yeah, it would really be great if we had electricity!"


:lol: 
May 30, 2011 2:19:47 AM

Guy comes home seeing his wife watching a cooking show
He says to her "why you watching that, youre a lousy cook"
She looks up and replies "well...you watch porn"
May 30, 2011 5:59:11 AM

:lol: 
This thread keeps getting better.
May 31, 2011 9:47:02 AM

I see that you want something else! Here it is Yo mama is so dark!

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk!

Yo mama is so black when she went outside the street lights turned on!

Yo mama so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
June 1, 2011 3:30:55 AM

A black friend told me this
He said his cousin was realllllly poor.
One day, he sees his cousin walking down the street, kicking a can
He asked him, Hey cuz, wassup? Whatcha doin?
His cousin replied


Mooovin
June 1, 2011 4:24:40 AM

I was so ugly...when I was born the doctor slapped my mother.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

In my life I've been through plenty. when I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.

When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiement.

When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... and no one showed up.

I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.

A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
What a childhood I had. My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend.

I was so depressed that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said "On your mark... "

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

My cousin is gay; he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, "No, but I did get the license number".

My cousin is gay; I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

My old man, I told him I'm tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor.

When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."

I bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio... I don't understand a word they're saying.

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

…went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.

I was such an ugly kid… when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens

I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at prisons and wait for parolees.

I have three kids, one of each.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Boy, is my wife stupid! It takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughter's no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend

My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

Why, her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly - my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
June 4, 2011 2:12:30 PM

Hehe great jokes! Classics and something new!Thansk for the moment!
June 5, 2011 5:48:04 PM

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I don't want your job."

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.


You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
before.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked, "did you sleep well?" I said, "no, I made a couple of mistakes."

Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and
looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years
later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their
deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So.
What did you think?"

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to
sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.



June 6, 2011 2:56:10 AM

Second one is Stephen Wright First one is Rodney. Rita Rudner...

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.


They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
June 6, 2011 6:56:16 PM

:) ))))))))))))) Great joke, can't stop laugh!
June 6, 2011 8:41:57 PM

:lol: 
June 6, 2011 10:24:52 PM

The fire chief sees a little girl dressed in red, wearing a fire helmut, pulling her red wagon with a dog and a cat in tow.
He asks her:
Lil miss, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
She replies
"A fire chief"
So, the fire chief, in all seriosness, starts to examine the little girls rig, when he spots 2 strings, one attached to the dogs collar, while the other was attached to the cats nether region
Tactfully he asks the little girl
"Lil miss, I noticed how you have your animals attached to your rig, and looking at the lil kitty, it would seem to me that youd go much faster if it were tied like the lil doggies"
The lil girl gave a "boy, this guy knows nothing look" an says
"Well then, I wouldnt have a siren , would I?"
June 7, 2011 11:54:37 AM

Great joke, funny and interesting! Thanks
June 7, 2011 10:17:25 PM

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand to help her.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a town drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Friday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my
boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes on a Friday nite into town again, you're fired."

June 7, 2011 10:31:59 PM

THE Missourah VASECTOMY


After their 11th child, a Missourah couple decided that , that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian( animal doctor) and told him that he and his cousin (his wife) didn't want to have anymore children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in parts of Missourah) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The Kentuckian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."


"Trust me," said the doctor.


So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count!

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5" ( you'll love this...)


At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.


This procedure also works in Tennessee, Alabama, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Florida, West Virginia and North Carolina.
June 7, 2011 10:44:31 PM

Ole' Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota ,takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.

As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiancée, Lena , is still a Virgin - in every vay'.

The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.


He took four tongue depressors, and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together .. Quite an impressive work of art..

Ole mentions none of this to Lena , marries her, and they go on their honeymoon to Duluth

That night in the motel room, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts.
She said, 'You're the first vun. No vun has EVER seen deez.'

Ole immediately drops his pants and replies,
'Look at dis, .....still in DA CRATE!
June 7, 2011 10:56:05 PM

A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.


"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one .... 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."


"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."


Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."


"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."


Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."


After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."


The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"


"Yep," said the father. "And cheap ones too."
June 7, 2011 11:35:39 PM

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am

'About 32,' is the reply.'

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get a box of condoms for her boyfried cause hes really going to be suprised and will want to make luv to her tonite and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30...'

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are...'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her..


She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast . He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'


Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she says.

'I was behind you at McDonalds.'

June 7, 2011 11:56:08 PM

McDonalds the best! Great joke!
June 8, 2011 12:36:57 AM

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, “and I've put life on it.. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That’s Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of software."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There’s another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there."
June 8, 2011 12:43:06 AM

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perked up and said, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating. '

'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating, ' said the woman.

''What a coincidence! ' said the farmer.

As they clinked glasses he added, 'What are you celebrating? '

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence! ' said the man.

'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

'I used a different **** (rhymes with rock), he replied'.

The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, 'What a coincidence'
June 8, 2011 12:25:10 PM

Chicken, cotcodac....cotcodac.... Great joke!
June 27, 2011 12:04:21 AM

Obamaonomics.

The science of turning a recession into a great depression through out-of-control deficit spending, printing money, borrowing money from our enemies, and confiscating money from the private sector in the form of massive tax increases to "add or save" government jobs at a cost of $563,872 per job (according to Obama's recovery.gov 05/05/2010) and an average salary of $42,000
June 29, 2011 1:36:52 AM

Im just waiting for carbon credits to go public, Ill take 10 grand worth

Whats wrinkled, six inches long, and makes women feel good?
100$ bill
June 29, 2011 6:52:18 AM

:lol:  Remember the time when you could get anything you want at Alice's restaurant in exchange for carbon credits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC5uV4wbcTQ

Financial news.

Boston mob boss Whitey Bulger was tracked down in Santa Monica by the FBI Wednesday after sixteen years on the run. Stocks fell on the news. When it was first reported the feds had just nailed Whitey, everyone assumed the Democrats had pushed through a tax hike on the rich.

June 30, 2011 3:42:47 AM

:lol:  I have an aunt who is British. Her son, my cousin, was born two days after me in the same room she shared with my mother at the hospital. I am always reminded my diaper was changed a lot of days by a Brit. I bloody well will never forget it.

I opened a bazooka today and saw this.

Obama had an embarrassing number of no-shows at his fundraising dinner for Wall Street executives Friday. He is sinking in the polls. He's so unpopular that even Kenyans are saying he was born in the United States.

July 12, 2011 8:36:04 PM

K, so 3 guys are hiking in the wilderness in the Amazon Rain Forest. They stumble upon and are captured by a semi-hostile never-before-seen tribe who give each men one of two choices:

1. Death

- or -

2. Ungi-Bungi

The first man says "Ungi-Bungi without asking question and then every member of the tribe proceeds to butt-rape him.

The second man says that he'd rather not die so he reluctantly chooses Ungi-Bungi and well... you know what happens.

The third man chooses death and the Tribe Chief replies; "Ok then! Death by Ungi-Bungi!"
August 22, 2011 8:30:13 AM

So interesting. Have any jokes?
August 23, 2011 3:52:21 PM

who's there ?
!