English Lesson for the day...

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;

but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;

yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face! it! - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?


AUTHOR UNKNOWN

or is it KNOTKNOWN?

BTW
The immigrant gave up on learning the english language, when he read the headline "Bazaar Pronounced Success"


<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

It is my understanding that the English Language is "mutt breed" language. English was formed from combining French and German. There were lots of other words taken from other languages, and more that we just made up ourselves.


<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Why is my cock the size of Mount Fuji?

I'm the good time that was had by all

Not enough of a challenge.

<font color=blue>"My magic words at half-time were f*ck, bollocks, bastard, crap and piss-poor." - Mick McCarthy </font color=blue>

True. When erect it's the size of K1.

I'm the good time that was had by all

What do you mean by ambiguous uses?

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French is the language of clarity and precision: it uses a lot more determiners, adverbs, conjunctions and the like to link parts of sentences together and clarify their relationships. This links very well with the "foisonnement" (expansion) phenomenon in translation from English to French, with the French translation being on average 15% longer than the source text. Conversely, English is more likely to create ambiguity and its concision can be seen as bluntness, which was described in the programme as "the enemy of polite discourse". Nowadays, despite the French language losing much of its prestige, the English diplomatic vocabulary is still haunted by a few French ghosts, here and there: regime, coup, etiquette, rapprochement. I suspect these words are still in use only because they don't have equivalents in English.


<b><font color=blue>Athlon64 3200+ Winchester/MSI Neo4 Platinum SLI/MSI 6800 Ultra/1 GB Kingston HyperX (Dual Channel)/74GB WD Raptor/600Watt Enermax Noisetaker/ Dual Mitsubishi 21 Inch Monitors</b></font color=blue>

Well actually I didn't. I realised they were Sherpas, I was just being a bastard.

I'm the good time that was had by all

They tried to use my pubes as ropes, what they didn't know was that my pubes are coated in a thick gluey substance, designed to trap unwary intruders.

Kinda like a Venus fly trap. Or maybe a Penis fly trap.

I'm the good time that was had by all

And when that monstrous jap-eye opened up... *shudders*...

<font color=blue>"My magic words at half-time were f*ck, bollocks, bastard, crap and piss-poor." - Mick McCarthy </font color=blue>

Was just wondering what he had meant by the language being ambiguous. I know what the word itself means.

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Yeah I know what you mean. Although I never liked how it can be confusing at times to write YOU and having both persons possibly being interpreted.

Sorta like German, although it's even worse in the latter.

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