S.O.S. (Save an Old Sonofab*tchprintingmachinefromHell)

Dear friends,

We all know it of course, but it feels good to repeat it all the same: PRINTERS WERE SENT FROM HELL TO MAKE US MISERABLE.

Prudence would therefore commend us to remain sagely at a great distance from these diabolical devices, and even, possibly, to embark at last on the Holy Worldwide Printer-Smashing Cruisade which the unholy buggers have been lucky to dodge since the dawns of time.


However, there comes a moment in a man's life when man finds himself in great need of extracting vast amounts of electronic information from computers — which are devilish items in their own right, but whose nerve-racking abilities arguably are no match for the printers, most despicable creatures of Satan — and devise a means to have this electronic information appear on sheets of paper.

And as it turns out, modern man lacks this most useful instrument enjoyed by the Pharaohs of ancient Egypt: an army of slave-scribes, able (and indeed, compeled) to write down all necessary information in record time and without complaint, for fear of being fed to the crocodiles.

Which is where the printers come in.

Modern man, injustly despoiled of his slave-scribes by the greedy hand of History, has no choice but to deal with the sly, the treacherous, the hateful machines that now monopolize this aspect of his needs. Machines which, by an ominous coincidence (doubtless another work of the Devil) cannot even be brought to fear the crocodiles, the poor saurians currently facing undignified extermination.


Forgive me for this rather hefty prelude, people.
Gave me back some peace of mind.

My torturer is none else than a Canon BJS-265SP printer. It looks small and old (and old it is), but let this fool you not: its powers of mental pain and destruction are as strong as they ever were!

I was in desperate need of a printer, and found that one lurking in the shadows of a cupboard, in the place I'm renting now (buried there by a previous occupant, who since then fled the country -- in horror, no doubt).

It is loaded with a functional cartridge.
I connected it to my Windows XP laptop through a newly-bought Parallel-to-USB cable.
I installed the required driver.
The printer is detected by the cpu, and everything seems to be just fine.

EXCEPT THAT: the printer keeps on blinking its evil green single eye, non-stop, from the moment I turn it on (with or without cpu connection).
No tasks in the waiting list, of course.
If I try printing anything (or sending any other task), a few minutes go by with no reaction, and I eventually get a nondescript error message ("Error occurred, launch the Printers & Fax troubleshooting, or else just go die, we don't care"). The Windows troubleshooting, predictably, is of no help whatsoever.

(assuming I have too little budget for buying a new machine)

Please help me bring back to life (at least for a while) this monstrous antiquity, for which I can't even find a user's manual anywhere.
All assistance is welcome!

4 answers Last reply Best Answer
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  1. Best answer
    A nice read!

    Hmm, you might want to see if this driver update helps but it could be other problems, for example old ink and clogged ink jets.

    Manual wise, check the Canon website. It is an old printer and it may not work and even finding ink for it might be a problem.

    Happy printing, the Prisoner.
  2. Thanks for your reply -- in the end it seems the ink was just plain stuck deep down in the innards of the machine, for long lack of use. I had no time to learn how to repair that old piece of junk, and found a good cheap new one to replace its lousy guts.

    If only I could cheat myself into believing that new one will last for 20 years...
  3. IT's possible but with computers changing, operating systems changes, finding a driver for it might be HARD! haha.
  4. Best answer selected by the_killer_rabbit.
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