Illustrate the difference between Men and Women

The Difference Between Men and Women:

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.

A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while, neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

Then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. . . To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself:

Jeez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward. I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So that means it was ...let's see ...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer. Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. Scumbags!

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking:Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...Oh God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger."I'm such a fool,"

Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that... it's that I... I need some time," Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) "Yes," he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Roger," she says.

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.

Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say, "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the difference between men and women!

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

Why did I waste my time reading this?

<font color=blue>AthlonXP-M 2500+(12x200)</font color=blue>|<font color=green>Abit NF7-S</font color=green>|<font color=red>1GB Kingston DDR400</font color=red>|<font color=purple>NEC Accucync90 19"</font color=purple>|<font color=black>Sapphire 9600XT</font color=black>

ROFLMAO You're a Dillusional Idiot DH! One of these days you're gonna actually end up believing your own BS!

<A HREF="http://forums.btvillarin.com/index.php?act=ST&f=41&t=2541&st=0#entry20385" target="_new">My Puter</A>

Its a spare time activity what can I say! Hows things with You Daniel?

<A HREF="http://forums.btvillarin.com/index.php?act=ST&f=41&t=2541&st=0#entry20385" target="_new">My Puter</A>

ive read variations of that story probly 10 times, i still love it rofl.

go tell your alien brothers, that ronnie cordova says they're gay!!! <A HREF="http://sockbaby.com" target="_new"> sock baby </A>

It's very important to a woman that she feels that you are listening and paying attention to her when she is discussing something. Of course, as men, we all know this is just too irritating most of the time as we usually have no idea what the point of the conversation really is.

Fortunately they really do not want us to solve whatever problem they are struggling with at the time, they are only looking for sympathy and support so they can continue to worry about it and feel justified in their misery. Resist the manly urge to "Fix" the problem, your opinions and solutions aren't wanted or needed.

You may ask, then why should I even try to pay attention if she doesn't really want my opinions any way? The answer is, you don't really need to pay attention at all, or at least very attention will do the trick.

Here's how it works. When you hear the whiney tone of voice that always accompanies these rants it's important to not get emotionally involved with the subject and focus on your wife's feelings instead. Now, you really have no idea what she is feeling so you can't "Actually" pay attention to them so I suggest you find an appropriate substitute. I like to pick a spot on the wall directly behind and above my wifes head to concentrate on.

Get that serious, caring expression fixed on your face and just stare intently at the spot on the wall. You don't have to listen to the actual words, just pay attention to the tone and volume of her laments. When she starts raising the pitch or volume you should limit your response to simple grunts and the occasional "Hmmm" or "Uh-huh" type comments always trying to keep that sincere expression on your face. This will make her feel like you care and support and sympathize with her and hardly ever get you in trouble.

Of course they occasionally try to trip you up and catch you not listening, thus proving their current theory that men are pigs and you are the piggiest. Don't get caught. If you suddenly stop hearing the "Wah Wah Wah" sounds from the other side of the room you can bet that she has asked you a direct question trying to trick you into going "Huh?". Don't say it! This is instant death.

Instead develop a repertoire of canned responses like that are not answers at all but simple declaratory statements, "Honey, I can only imagine how this must make you feel but I guess I just don't have any idea what to do about it. I know you are way better suited to handle this kind of stuff than I am. You are so much better at dealing with people than I am, I'm afraid anything I did or said in this situation would only make it worse. What do you think about the whole thing."

Fits almost any situation and confuses her enough that she won't realize you didn't even hear the conversation. This should buy you enough time to maybe throw out some more "Uh-huhs" and "Hmmms" and then politely excuse yourself to go change the washers in the kitchen faucet before dinner.

If it looks like she is really trying to catch you it may be time for the big one. When she stops and stares, obviously expecting a thoughtful response and seems to be ready to block the standard answers you sometimes have to pull out the big guns. "Honey, I hate that this is bothering you so much. I don't think there is anything I could do to fix the situation but I want you to know that I love you and care about you and, have absolute faith that you will find the best way to handle the situation. I'm going to have to take second chair on this one but I will be there for you and support you in whatever you decide to do." Then go oer and give her a big hug, (no grabby though, this is about survival, not sex), and maybe kiss her on the forehead and tell again how much you love her. Then go mow the lawn.

I know some of you guys think you have it rough during PMS, pregnancy etc but wait until menopause. This becomes a lifestyle thing. You need to develop these skills over the years leading up to it or you will certainly become an ugly statistic in your later years when you are least able to defend yourself.

<pre><font color=red>°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°`°¤o \\// o¤°`°¤o,¸¸¸,o¤°
And the sign says "You got to have a membership card to get inside" Huh
So I got me a pen and paper And I made up my own little sign</pre><p></font color=red>

You got the nail hit on the head!!!!! 35 years & counting & I've never had to say "Yes Dear"!!!!!

<pre> If I ever did, I'd say it with a lisp & CA chop!!! If it ever came to that.....[shrug] </pre><p>

Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!