Old hand returns...

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

Hello all
I used to be a resident on this 'ere newsgroup and then decided my phonebill
(on dial-up, natch) was getting silly. I'm now in Canada with my trusty
Browning GTI, a couple of pistols (legally!!!) and a No 5 Jungle Carbine. A
Tikka T3, stainless/laminate in .300WSM is on order. So far the Browning has
accounted for some mallards, and come winter there will be a mule deer or
two heading for my freezer.
Greetings and salutations to those with whom I sparred in the past, and
howdy to newcomers.

JJ
13 answers Last reply
More about hand returns
  1. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 20:23:22 GMT, "JJ"
    <jgNOj@BLOODYshaSPAMw.ca> wrote:

    >Hello all
    >I used to be a resident on this 'ere newsgroup and then decided my phonebill
    >(on dial-up, natch) was getting silly.
    (some snipperie)>
    >JJ
    >
    Is that the JJ who worked in ATC? Or am I
    getting confused in my old age? Or both?

    Gyppo

    John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
    and All-Round Rogue
    Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
    mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
  2. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    Aye Gyppo, 'tis me. And I still work in ATC except these days I'm called
    Calgary Arrival or Calgary Departure or Calgary Terminal (depending on
    whether I'm controlling them coming in, them going oot or them that can't
    read a map). Of course, you could still be getting confused in your old age,
    but I hear the Royal Mail does that to you. Over here, "going postal" has a
    different meaning....

    JJ

    "J Craggs" <gyppo1@NOSPAMPLEASEOLDCHAPntlworld.com> wrote in message
    news:l9tvv0drsnn5v632nop3k07ukh3igp5poe@4ax.com...
    > On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 20:23:22 GMT, "JJ"
    > <jgNOj@BLOODYshaSPAMw.ca> wrote:
    >
    >>Hello all
    >>I used to be a resident on this 'ere newsgroup and then decided my
    >>phonebill
    >>(on dial-up, natch) was getting silly.
    > (some snipperie)>
    >>JJ
    >>
    > Is that the JJ who worked in ATC? Or am I
    > getting confused in my old age? Or both?
    >
    > Gyppo
    >
    > John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
    > and All-Round Rogue
    > Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
    > mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
  3. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    > but I hear the Royal Mail does that to you. Over here, "going postal" has
    > a different meaning....

    Yes - why do so many US posties start shooting people? Most of the UK ones I
    know are nice, well balanced people!
  4. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    On Thu, 03 Feb 2005 00:48:10 GMT, "Graham Gowland"
    <gowlandREMOVE@bigfoot.com> wrote:

    >> but I hear the Royal Mail does that to you. Over here, "going postal" has
    >> a different meaning....
    >
    >Yes - why do so many US posties start shooting people? Most of the UK ones I
    >know are nice, well balanced people!
    >
    Because they're American ;-)?

    We English posties may often feel like shooting
    some of our more intransigent customers, but Royal Mail
    tends to frown upon carrying guns at work. A lump
    hammer to 'deter' savage dogs is one thing, but
    *shooting* awkward customers has to be done strictly in
    our own time and out of uniform...

    As they say... 'Don't upset your postman; he
    knows where you live'. With our rolling day off during
    the week you'll never know when that 'non-uniformed'
    visit may happen ;-)

    Gyppo

    John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
    and All-Round Rogue
    Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
    mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
  5. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    J Craggs wrote:

    > We English posties may often feel like shooting
    >some of our more intransigent customers, but Royal Mail
    >tends to frown upon carrying guns at work. A lump
    >hammer to 'deter' savage dogs is one thing, but
    >*shooting* awkward customers has to be done strictly in
    >our own time and out of uniform...
    >
    > As they say... 'Don't upset your postman; he
    >knows where you live'. With our rolling day off during
    >the week you'll never know when that 'non-uniformed'
    >visit may happen ;-)

    LOL

    --
    Phil Cook
  6. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    J Craggs <gyppo1@NOSPAMPLEASEOLDCHAPntlworld.com> wrote in
    news:57d001t0ktlor549tslj0k9cr1vkkb6ek1@4ax.com:

    > A lump
    > hammer to 'deter' savage dogs is one thing,

    How is it dogs know a postie?

    As student, I used to do Christmas relief work. There were two
    collies on my route. One would get in front and the other behind
    -- and that was me! Stuck! Until the owner came out and called
    the dogs off. And all I had was the bag and an arm band.

    At another house, I was given instructions to put the letters
    through the door -- but to hold on tight. I soon discovered
    why!<vbg>

    Derry
  7. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    On 4 Feb 2005 10:19:05 GMT, Derry Argue
    <derry(delete)@adviegundogs.co.uk> wrote:

    >How is it dogs know a postie?
    >
    >As student, I used to do Christmas relief work. There were two
    >collies on my route. One would get in front and the other behind
    >-- and that was me! Stuck! Until the owner came out and called
    >the dogs off. And all I had was the bag and an arm band.
    >
    >At another house, I was given instructions to put the letters
    >through the door -- but to hold on tight. I soon discovered
    >why!<vbg>
    >
    >Derry

    Seriously off-topic here, Derry, but did it go
    something like this..

    The 'Dog Dangling' Season.

    The dog dangling season (December/January)
    is nearly upon us again. Around this time every year
    the postman can look forward to enjoying his annual
    fix of dog dangling. A non-contact, low risk sport.

    Equipment required:

    1) One door with high level letterbox (low
    boxes are for the closely related sport of pooch
    pulling).

    2) A long, narrow, but tough envelope
    (typically about two feet long, such as that
    containing a calendar).

    3) One of those irritating dogs that jumps up
    and grabs at the post, scaring you sh*tless on
    half-asleep mornings.

    (Envelopes made from vitek or similar
    super-tough material are particularly favoured by
    dog dangling adepts.)

    Method:

    Approach door whistling or scuffing to arouse
    dog. Fumble at letterbox to further infuriate the
    damned creature.

    Keeping a firm grip on your end of the
    envelope insert other end just enough for dog to get
    an equally firm grip. Begin see-saw action.

    The dog will *not* let go. Small dogs are
    best, Jack Russells being particularly
    enthusiastic participants, as they can be lifted and
    lowered several times before the calendar shreds.

    If the owner is out and you have a 'Vitek'
    envelope the tug of war can last several minutes.
    You will probably tire long before the dog. If the
    owner is home they soon become suspicious upon
    spotting 'Rover' repeatedly banging his head against
    the letterbox.

    Newcomers to this sport will be amazed how
    hard a small dog can pull. Tough old tom cats will
    sometimes play the same game (once) but they learn
    faster than dogs.

    Warning: Not a game for the faint-hearted
    or squeamish! Keep a firm grip, otherwise your
    knuckles will be seriously smashed against the
    outside of the letterbox!

    *****

    (Coming soon - the illicit and less
    friendly 'Lovelace Technique' for dealing with truly
    anti-social canines.)

    *****

    Gyppo


    John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
    and All-Round Rogue
    Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
    mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
  8. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    I was in fits of laughter reading this

    J Craggs wrote:
    > Derry Argue wrote:
    >
    >>How is it dogs know a postie?
    >>
    >>As student, I used to do Christmas relief work. There were two
    >>collies on my route. One would get in front and the other behind
    >>-- and that was me! Stuck! Until the owner came out and called
    >>the dogs off. And all I had was the bag and an arm band.
    >>
    >>At another house, I was given instructions to put the letters
    >>through the door -- but to hold on tight. I soon discovered
    >>why!<vbg>
    >>
    >>Derry
    >
    > Seriously off-topic here, Derry, but did it go
    > something like this..
    >
    > The 'Dog Dangling' Season.
    >
    > The dog dangling season (December/January)
    > is nearly upon us again. Around this time every year
    > the postman can look forward to enjoying his annual
    > fix of dog dangling. A non-contact, low risk sport.
    >
    > Equipment required:
    >
    > 1) One door with high level letterbox (low
    > boxes are for the closely related sport of pooch
    > pulling).
    >
    > 2) A long, narrow, but tough envelope
    > (typically about two feet long, such as that
    > containing a calendar).
    >
    > 3) One of those irritating dogs that jumps up
    > and grabs at the post, scaring you sh*tless on
    > half-asleep mornings.
    >
    > (Envelopes made from vitek or similar
    > super-tough material are particularly favoured by
    > dog dangling adepts.)
    >
    > Method:
    >
    > Approach door whistling or scuffing to arouse
    > dog. Fumble at letterbox to further infuriate the
    > damned creature.
    >
    > Keeping a firm grip on your end of the
    > envelope insert other end just enough for dog to get
    > an equally firm grip. Begin see-saw action.
    >
    > The dog will *not* let go. Small dogs are
    > best, Jack Russells being particularly
    > enthusiastic participants, as they can be lifted and
    > lowered several times before the calendar shreds.
    >
    > If the owner is out and you have a 'Vitek'
    > envelope the tug of war can last several minutes.
    > You will probably tire long before the dog. If the
    > owner is home they soon become suspicious upon
    > spotting 'Rover' repeatedly banging his head against
    > the letterbox.
    >
    > Newcomers to this sport will be amazed how
    > hard a small dog can pull. Tough old tom cats will
    > sometimes play the same game (once) but they learn
    > faster than dogs.
    >
    > Warning: Not a game for the faint-hearted
    > or squeamish! Keep a firm grip, otherwise your
    > knuckles will be seriously smashed against the
    > outside of the letterbox!
    >
    > *****
    >
    > (Coming soon - the illicit and less
    > friendly 'Lovelace Technique' for dealing with truly
    > anti-social canines.)
    >
    > *****
    >
    > Gyppo
    >
    >
    >
    > John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
    > and All-Round Rogue
    > Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
    > mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
  9. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    "Andy www.ukrabbiter.co.uk" <andy@ukrabbiter.co.uk> wrote in
    news:36i4eqF5370kcU1@individual.net:

    > I was in fits of laughter reading this
    >
    > J Craggs wrote:
    >> Derry Argue wrote:
    >>
    >>>How is it dogs know a postie?
    >>>
    >>>As student, I used to do Christmas relief work. There were
    >>>two collies on my route. One would get in front and the
    >>>other behind -- and that was me! Stuck! Until the owner
    >>>came out and called the dogs off. And all I had was the
    >>>bag and an arm band.
    >>>
    >>>At another house, I was given instructions to put the
    >>>letters through the door -- but to hold on tight. I soon
    >>>discovered why!<vbg>
    >>>
    >>>Derry
    >>
    >> Seriously off-topic here, Derry, but did it go
    >> something like this..
    >>
    >> The 'Dog Dangling' Season.
    >>
    >> The dog dangling season (December/January)
    >> is nearly upon us again. Around this time every year
    >> the postman can look forward to enjoying his annual
    >> fix of dog dangling. A non-contact, low risk sport.
    >>
    >> Equipment required:
    >>
    >> 1) One door with high level letterbox (low
    >> boxes are for the closely related sport of pooch
    >> pulling).
    >>
    >> 2) A long, narrow, but tough envelope
    >> (typically about two feet long, such as that
    >> containing a calendar).
    >>
    >> 3) One of those irritating dogs that jumps up
    >> and grabs at the post, scaring you sh*tless on
    >> half-asleep mornings.
    >>
    >> (Envelopes made from vitek or similar
    >> super-tough material are particularly favoured by
    >> dog dangling adepts.)
    >>
    >> Method:
    >>
    >> Approach door whistling or scuffing to arouse
    >> dog. Fumble at letterbox to further infuriate the
    >> damned creature.
    >>
    >> Keeping a firm grip on your end of the
    >> envelope insert other end just enough for dog to get
    >> an equally firm grip. Begin see-saw action.
    >>
    >> The dog will *not* let go. Small dogs are
    >> best, Jack Russells being particularly
    >> enthusiastic participants, as they can be lifted and
    >> lowered several times before the calendar shreds.
    >>
    >> If the owner is out and you have a 'Vitek'
    >> envelope the tug of war can last several minutes.
    >> You will probably tire long before the dog. If the
    >> owner is home they soon become suspicious upon
    >> spotting 'Rover' repeatedly banging his head against
    >> the letterbox.
    >>
    >> Newcomers to this sport will be amazed how
    >> hard a small dog can pull. Tough old tom cats will
    >> sometimes play the same game (once) but they learn
    >> faster than dogs.
    >>
    >> Warning: Not a game for the faint-hearted
    >> or squeamish! Keep a firm grip, otherwise your
    >> knuckles will be seriously smashed against the
    >> outside of the letterbox!
    >>
    >> *****
    >>
    >> (Coming soon - the illicit and less
    >> friendly 'Lovelace Technique' for dealing with truly
    >> anti-social canines.)
    >>
    >> *****
    >>
    >> Gyppo
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
    >> and All-Round Rogue
    >> Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly
    >> Digest: mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as
    >> subject.
    >
    >
    >
    That's the one! So you've been a postie in Torquay, then??<g>

    There used to be a sheepdog at Bayhead on North Uist which spent
    all day waiting for the unwary motorist. Then, at the last split
    second, it would shoot out from a gateway and attack the
    driver's side wheel of the passing vehicle.

    Cripes! That damned dog nearly put me off the road the first
    time I encountered it! Worse than the jets around here that zoom
    over at zero feet convincing you that the engine has just fallen
    out. VERY scary!!

    This damned dog and I had a war. Every time I passed the spot I
    seemed to be in deep thought and his totally unexpected
    onslaught invariably had me swerving across the road in a most
    dangerous manner.

    Then some bright person suggested opening the driver's door at
    the critical moment. Now that sounded a bit drastic but I
    finally decided to fix the b*st*ard. So I did it.

    Well, that (I convinced myself) was that. Not a bit of it. Next
    day the dog was there again, just a bit more cautious. I know
    other islanders were trying the same ploy. Well, someone must
    have scored a hit because the dog switched sides and would only
    attack the passenger side wheel!

    It took a few more weeks before someone got his passenger to
    open his door. But the dog just got more cunning and even more
    bloody dangerous -- if that was possible!

    I left the island soon after and heard later that it had finally
    got run over. I'm sorry to say that it was not before time. How
    it did not cause a serious accident, I do not know. But no one
    can say it didn't have an exciting life, even if it was a bit
    short!

    Derry
  10. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    On 4 Feb 2005 23:13:19 GMT, Derry Argue
    <derry(delete)@adviegundogs.co.uk> wrote:

    >
    >Then some bright person suggested opening the driver's door at
    >the critical moment. Now that sounded a bit drastic but I
    >finally decided to fix the b*st*ard. So I did it.

    Good one, Derry. One of our bakery van drivers
    used to delight in 'skittling' over traffic cones along
    the Camborne by-pass by opening the Transit door. His
    favourite early morning sport was to knock down a whole
    row.

    Until one particularly windy morning when
    they'd been staked down the middle with those steel
    rods rather than relying on the sand-sausage around the
    base.

    Broke his stupid wrist :-)

    Gyppo

    John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
    and All-Round Rogue
    Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
    mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
  11. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    J Craggs <gyppo1@NOSPAMPLEASEOLDCHAPntlworld.com> wrote in
    news:q0j001pgqpu4ajrtdml4nh5q854qs5squp@4ax.com:

    > On 4 Feb 2005 23:13:19 GMT, Derry Argue
    > <derry(delete)@adviegundogs.co.uk> wrote:
    >
    >>
    >>Then some bright person suggested opening the driver's door
    >>at the critical moment. Now that sounded a bit drastic but
    >>I finally decided to fix the b*st*ard. So I did it.
    >
    > Good one, Derry. One of our bakery van drivers
    > used to delight in 'skittling' over traffic cones along
    > the Camborne by-pass by opening the Transit door. His
    > favourite early morning sport was to knock down a whole
    > row.
    >
    > Until one particularly windy morning when
    > they'd been staked down the middle with those steel
    > rods rather than relying on the sand-sausage around the
    > base.
    >
    > Broke his stupid wrist :-)
    >
    > Gyppo
    >
    > John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
    > and All-Round Rogue
    > Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly
    > Digest: mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as
    > subject.
    >

    A brick in a paper bag was a nasty one we'd play as kids. These
    days it wouldn't be funny! (Back then the speed limit was 12mph
    and you had to have a man walking in front with a red flag).

    Derry
  12. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    "JJ" <jgNOj@BLOODYshaSPAMw.ca> wrote in
    news:ji0Md.250097$8l.128542@pd7tw1no:

    > Aye Gyppo, 'tis me. And I still work in ATC except these days I'm
    > called Calgary Arrival or Calgary Departure or Calgary Terminal
    > (depending on whether I'm controlling them coming in, them going oot
    > or them that can't read a map). Of course, you could still be getting
    > confused in your old age, but I hear the Royal Mail does that to you.
    > Over here, "going postal" has a different meaning....
    >
    > JJ


    Greetings JJ! (what happened to the Sika?)

    John
  13. Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

    "John" <zero_one34@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    news:Xns95F5CBA259053zeroone34hotmailcom@130.133.1.4...
    > Greetings JJ! (what happened to the Sika?)

    Ahh well, over 'ere we gots us some elk and mule deer and whitetails... Very
    confusing of course that the North American elk is the Euro red deer, NA
    carabou is Euro elk and NA moose is Euro carabou. Confused yet?
    With all those big critters around and the risk of running into a bear, a
    ..300WSM Tikka is on order. Just a shame Canadian law prevents me from taking
    my .40S&W pistol with me when walking in the woods - it might be a good bear
    deterent!
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