Sign in with
Sign up | Sign in
Your question

Old hand returns...

Last response: in Video Games
Share
February 1, 2005 11:23:22 PM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

Hello all
I used to be a resident on this 'ere newsgroup and then decided my phonebill
(on dial-up, natch) was getting silly. I'm now in Canada with my trusty
Browning GTI, a couple of pistols (legally!!!) and a No 5 Jungle Carbine. A
Tikka T3, stainless/laminate in .300WSM is on order. So far the Browning has
accounted for some mallards, and come winter there will be a mule deer or
two heading for my freezer.
Greetings and salutations to those with whom I sparred in the past, and
howdy to newcomers.

JJ

More about : hand returns

Anonymous
February 2, 2005 12:27:14 AM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 20:23:22 GMT, "JJ"
<jgNOj@BLOODYshaSPAMw.ca> wrote:

>Hello all
>I used to be a resident on this 'ere newsgroup and then decided my phonebill
>(on dial-up, natch) was getting silly.
(some snipperie)>
>JJ
>
Is that the JJ who worked in ATC? Or am I
getting confused in my old age? Or both?

Gyppo

John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
and All-Round Rogue
Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
February 2, 2005 11:36:31 AM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

Aye Gyppo, 'tis me. And I still work in ATC except these days I'm called
Calgary Arrival or Calgary Departure or Calgary Terminal (depending on
whether I'm controlling them coming in, them going oot or them that can't
read a map). Of course, you could still be getting confused in your old age,
but I hear the Royal Mail does that to you. Over here, "going postal" has a
different meaning....

JJ

"J Craggs" <gyppo1@NOSPAMPLEASEOLDCHAPntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:l9tvv0drsnn5v632nop3k07ukh3igp5poe@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 20:23:22 GMT, "JJ"
> <jgNOj@BLOODYshaSPAMw.ca> wrote:
>
>>Hello all
>>I used to be a resident on this 'ere newsgroup and then decided my
>>phonebill
>>(on dial-up, natch) was getting silly.
> (some snipperie)>
>>JJ
>>
> Is that the JJ who worked in ATC? Or am I
> getting confused in my old age? Or both?
>
> Gyppo
>
> John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
> and All-Round Rogue
> Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
> mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
Related resources
Anonymous
February 3, 2005 3:48:10 AM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

> but I hear the Royal Mail does that to you. Over here, "going postal" has
> a different meaning....

Yes - why do so many US posties start shooting people? Most of the UK ones I
know are nice, well balanced people!
Anonymous
February 4, 2005 12:13:59 AM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

On Thu, 03 Feb 2005 00:48:10 GMT, "Graham Gowland"
<gowlandREMOVE@bigfoot.com> wrote:

>> but I hear the Royal Mail does that to you. Over here, "going postal" has
>> a different meaning....
>
>Yes - why do so many US posties start shooting people? Most of the UK ones I
>know are nice, well balanced people!
>
Because they're American ;-)?

We English posties may often feel like shooting
some of our more intransigent customers, but Royal Mail
tends to frown upon carrying guns at work. A lump
hammer to 'deter' savage dogs is one thing, but
*shooting* awkward customers has to be done strictly in
our own time and out of uniform...

As they say... 'Don't upset your postman; he
knows where you live'. With our rolling day off during
the week you'll never know when that 'non-uniformed'
visit may happen ;-)

Gyppo

John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
and All-Round Rogue
Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
Anonymous
February 4, 2005 1:30:05 AM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

J Craggs wrote:

> We English posties may often feel like shooting
>some of our more intransigent customers, but Royal Mail
>tends to frown upon carrying guns at work. A lump
>hammer to 'deter' savage dogs is one thing, but
>*shooting* awkward customers has to be done strictly in
>our own time and out of uniform...
>
> As they say... 'Don't upset your postman; he
>knows where you live'. With our rolling day off during
>the week you'll never know when that 'non-uniformed'
>visit may happen ;-)

LOL

--
Phil Cook
Anonymous
February 4, 2005 1:19:05 PM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

J Craggs <gyppo1@NOSPAMPLEASEOLDCHAPntlworld.com> wrote in
news:57d001t0ktlor549tslj0k9cr1vkkb6ek1@4ax.com:

> A lump
> hammer to 'deter' savage dogs is one thing,

How is it dogs know a postie?

As student, I used to do Christmas relief work. There were two
collies on my route. One would get in front and the other behind
-- and that was me! Stuck! Until the owner came out and called
the dogs off. And all I had was the bag and an arm band.

At another house, I was given instructions to put the letters
through the door -- but to hold on tight. I soon discovered
why!<vbg>

Derry
Anonymous
February 4, 2005 10:24:24 PM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

On 4 Feb 2005 10:19:05 GMT, Derry Argue
<derry(delete)@adviegundogs.co.uk> wrote:

>How is it dogs know a postie?
>
>As student, I used to do Christmas relief work. There were two
>collies on my route. One would get in front and the other behind
>-- and that was me! Stuck! Until the owner came out and called
>the dogs off. And all I had was the bag and an arm band.
>
>At another house, I was given instructions to put the letters
>through the door -- but to hold on tight. I soon discovered
>why!<vbg>
>
>Derry

Seriously off-topic here, Derry, but did it go
something like this..

The 'Dog Dangling' Season.

The dog dangling season (December/January)
is nearly upon us again. Around this time every year
the postman can look forward to enjoying his annual
fix of dog dangling. A non-contact, low risk sport.

Equipment required:

1) One door with high level letterbox (low
boxes are for the closely related sport of pooch
pulling).

2) A long, narrow, but tough envelope
(typically about two feet long, such as that
containing a calendar).

3) One of those irritating dogs that jumps up
and grabs at the post, scaring you sh*tless on
half-asleep mornings.

(Envelopes made from vitek or similar
super-tough material are particularly favoured by
dog dangling adepts.)

Method:

Approach door whistling or scuffing to arouse
dog. Fumble at letterbox to further infuriate the
damned creature.

Keeping a firm grip on your end of the
envelope insert other end just enough for dog to get
an equally firm grip. Begin see-saw action.

The dog will *not* let go. Small dogs are
best, Jack Russells being particularly
enthusiastic participants, as they can be lifted and
lowered several times before the calendar shreds.

If the owner is out and you have a 'Vitek'
envelope the tug of war can last several minutes.
You will probably tire long before the dog. If the
owner is home they soon become suspicious upon
spotting 'Rover' repeatedly banging his head against
the letterbox.

Newcomers to this sport will be amazed how
hard a small dog can pull. Tough old tom cats will
sometimes play the same game (once) but they learn
faster than dogs.

Warning: Not a game for the faint-hearted
or squeamish! Keep a firm grip, otherwise your
knuckles will be seriously smashed against the
outside of the letterbox!

*****

(Coming soon - the illicit and less
friendly 'Lovelace Technique' for dealing with truly
anti-social canines.)

*****

Gyppo



John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
and All-Round Rogue
Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
Anonymous
February 4, 2005 11:32:24 PM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

I was in fits of laughter reading this

J Craggs wrote:
> Derry Argue wrote:
>
>>How is it dogs know a postie?
>>
>>As student, I used to do Christmas relief work. There were two
>>collies on my route. One would get in front and the other behind
>>-- and that was me! Stuck! Until the owner came out and called
>>the dogs off. And all I had was the bag and an arm band.
>>
>>At another house, I was given instructions to put the letters
>>through the door -- but to hold on tight. I soon discovered
>>why!<vbg>
>>
>>Derry
>
> Seriously off-topic here, Derry, but did it go
> something like this..
>
> The 'Dog Dangling' Season.
>
> The dog dangling season (December/January)
> is nearly upon us again. Around this time every year
> the postman can look forward to enjoying his annual
> fix of dog dangling. A non-contact, low risk sport.
>
> Equipment required:
>
> 1) One door with high level letterbox (low
> boxes are for the closely related sport of pooch
> pulling).
>
> 2) A long, narrow, but tough envelope
> (typically about two feet long, such as that
> containing a calendar).
>
> 3) One of those irritating dogs that jumps up
> and grabs at the post, scaring you sh*tless on
> half-asleep mornings.
>
> (Envelopes made from vitek or similar
> super-tough material are particularly favoured by
> dog dangling adepts.)
>
> Method:
>
> Approach door whistling or scuffing to arouse
> dog. Fumble at letterbox to further infuriate the
> damned creature.
>
> Keeping a firm grip on your end of the
> envelope insert other end just enough for dog to get
> an equally firm grip. Begin see-saw action.
>
> The dog will *not* let go. Small dogs are
> best, Jack Russells being particularly
> enthusiastic participants, as they can be lifted and
> lowered several times before the calendar shreds.
>
> If the owner is out and you have a 'Vitek'
> envelope the tug of war can last several minutes.
> You will probably tire long before the dog. If the
> owner is home they soon become suspicious upon
> spotting 'Rover' repeatedly banging his head against
> the letterbox.
>
> Newcomers to this sport will be amazed how
> hard a small dog can pull. Tough old tom cats will
> sometimes play the same game (once) but they learn
> faster than dogs.
>
> Warning: Not a game for the faint-hearted
> or squeamish! Keep a firm grip, otherwise your
> knuckles will be seriously smashed against the
> outside of the letterbox!
>
> *****
>
> (Coming soon - the illicit and less
> friendly 'Lovelace Technique' for dealing with truly
> anti-social canines.)
>
> *****
>
> Gyppo
>
>
>
> John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
> and All-Round Rogue
> Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
> mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
Anonymous
February 5, 2005 2:13:19 AM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

"Andy www.ukrabbiter.co.uk" <andy@ukrabbiter.co.uk> wrote in
news:36i4eqF5370kcU1@individual.net:

> I was in fits of laughter reading this
>
> J Craggs wrote:
>> Derry Argue wrote:
>>
>>>How is it dogs know a postie?
>>>
>>>As student, I used to do Christmas relief work. There were
>>>two collies on my route. One would get in front and the
>>>other behind -- and that was me! Stuck! Until the owner
>>>came out and called the dogs off. And all I had was the
>>>bag and an arm band.
>>>
>>>At another house, I was given instructions to put the
>>>letters through the door -- but to hold on tight. I soon
>>>discovered why!<vbg>
>>>
>>>Derry
>>
>> Seriously off-topic here, Derry, but did it go
>> something like this..
>>
>> The 'Dog Dangling' Season.
>>
>> The dog dangling season (December/January)
>> is nearly upon us again. Around this time every year
>> the postman can look forward to enjoying his annual
>> fix of dog dangling. A non-contact, low risk sport.
>>
>> Equipment required:
>>
>> 1) One door with high level letterbox (low
>> boxes are for the closely related sport of pooch
>> pulling).
>>
>> 2) A long, narrow, but tough envelope
>> (typically about two feet long, such as that
>> containing a calendar).
>>
>> 3) One of those irritating dogs that jumps up
>> and grabs at the post, scaring you sh*tless on
>> half-asleep mornings.
>>
>> (Envelopes made from vitek or similar
>> super-tough material are particularly favoured by
>> dog dangling adepts.)
>>
>> Method:
>>
>> Approach door whistling or scuffing to arouse
>> dog. Fumble at letterbox to further infuriate the
>> damned creature.
>>
>> Keeping a firm grip on your end of the
>> envelope insert other end just enough for dog to get
>> an equally firm grip. Begin see-saw action.
>>
>> The dog will *not* let go. Small dogs are
>> best, Jack Russells being particularly
>> enthusiastic participants, as they can be lifted and
>> lowered several times before the calendar shreds.
>>
>> If the owner is out and you have a 'Vitek'
>> envelope the tug of war can last several minutes.
>> You will probably tire long before the dog. If the
>> owner is home they soon become suspicious upon
>> spotting 'Rover' repeatedly banging his head against
>> the letterbox.
>>
>> Newcomers to this sport will be amazed how
>> hard a small dog can pull. Tough old tom cats will
>> sometimes play the same game (once) but they learn
>> faster than dogs.
>>
>> Warning: Not a game for the faint-hearted
>> or squeamish! Keep a firm grip, otherwise your
>> knuckles will be seriously smashed against the
>> outside of the letterbox!
>>
>> *****
>>
>> (Coming soon - the illicit and less
>> friendly 'Lovelace Technique' for dealing with truly
>> anti-social canines.)
>>
>> *****
>>
>> Gyppo
>>
>>
>>
>> John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
>> and All-Round Rogue
>> Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly
>> Digest: mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as
>> subject.
>
>
>
That's the one! So you've been a postie in Torquay, then??<g>

There used to be a sheepdog at Bayhead on North Uist which spent
all day waiting for the unwary motorist. Then, at the last split
second, it would shoot out from a gateway and attack the
driver's side wheel of the passing vehicle.

Cripes! That damned dog nearly put me off the road the first
time I encountered it! Worse than the jets around here that zoom
over at zero feet convincing you that the engine has just fallen
out. VERY scary!!

This damned dog and I had a war. Every time I passed the spot I
seemed to be in deep thought and his totally unexpected
onslaught invariably had me swerving across the road in a most
dangerous manner.

Then some bright person suggested opening the driver's door at
the critical moment. Now that sounded a bit drastic but I
finally decided to fix the b*st*ard. So I did it.

Well, that (I convinced myself) was that. Not a bit of it. Next
day the dog was there again, just a bit more cautious. I know
other islanders were trying the same ploy. Well, someone must
have scored a hit because the dog switched sides and would only
attack the passenger side wheel!

It took a few more weeks before someone got his passenger to
open his door. But the dog just got more cunning and even more
bloody dangerous -- if that was possible!

I left the island soon after and heard later that it had finally
got run over. I'm sorry to say that it was not before time. How
it did not cause a serious accident, I do not know. But no one
can say it didn't have an exciting life, even if it was a bit
short!

Derry
Anonymous
February 5, 2005 3:07:48 AM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

On 4 Feb 2005 23:13:19 GMT, Derry Argue
<derry(delete)@adviegundogs.co.uk> wrote:

>
>Then some bright person suggested opening the driver's door at
>the critical moment. Now that sounded a bit drastic but I
>finally decided to fix the b*st*ard. So I did it.

Good one, Derry. One of our bakery van drivers
used to delight in 'skittling' over traffic cones along
the Camborne by-pass by opening the Transit door. His
favourite early morning sport was to knock down a whole
row.

Until one particularly windy morning when
they'd been staked down the middle with those steel
rods rather than relying on the sand-sausage around the
base.

Broke his stupid wrist :-)

Gyppo

John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
and All-Round Rogue
Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly Digest:
mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as subject.
Anonymous
February 5, 2005 1:25:02 PM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

J Craggs <gyppo1@NOSPAMPLEASEOLDCHAPntlworld.com> wrote in
news:q0j001pgqpu4ajrtdml4nh5q854qs5squp@4ax.com:

> On 4 Feb 2005 23:13:19 GMT, Derry Argue
> <derry(delete)@adviegundogs.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>
>>Then some bright person suggested opening the driver's door
>>at the critical moment. Now that sounded a bit drastic but
>>I finally decided to fix the b*st*ard. So I did it.
>
> Good one, Derry. One of our bakery van drivers
> used to delight in 'skittling' over traffic cones along
> the Camborne by-pass by opening the Transit door. His
> favourite early morning sport was to knock down a whole
> row.
>
> Until one particularly windy morning when
> they'd been staked down the middle with those steel
> rods rather than relying on the sand-sausage around the
> base.
>
> Broke his stupid wrist :-)
>
> Gyppo
>
> John Craggs - Writer - Adult Tutor - Storyteller
> and All-Round Rogue
> Need a laugh? Then subscribe to the free Monday Silly
> Digest: mail to: gyppo1@ntlworld.com With 'MSD SUB' as
> subject.
>

A brick in a paper bag was a nasty one we'd play as kids. These
days it wouldn't be funny! (Back then the speed limit was 12mph
and you had to have a man walking in front with a red flag).

Derry
February 6, 2005 11:01:05 PM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

"JJ" <jgNOj@BLOODYshaSPAMw.ca> wrote in
news:ji0Md.250097$8l.128542@pd7tw1no:

> Aye Gyppo, 'tis me. And I still work in ATC except these days I'm
> called Calgary Arrival or Calgary Departure or Calgary Terminal
> (depending on whether I'm controlling them coming in, them going oot
> or them that can't read a map). Of course, you could still be getting
> confused in your old age, but I hear the Royal Mail does that to you.
> Over here, "going postal" has a different meaning....
>
> JJ


Greetings JJ! (what happened to the Sika?)

John
February 7, 2005 1:53:30 AM

Archived from groups: uk.rec.shooting.game (More info?)

"John" <zero_one34@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:Xns95F5CBA259053zeroone34hotmailcom@130.133.1.4...
> Greetings JJ! (what happened to the Sika?)

Ahh well, over 'ere we gots us some elk and mule deer and whitetails... Very
confusing of course that the North American elk is the Euro red deer, NA
carabou is Euro elk and NA moose is Euro carabou. Confused yet?
With all those big critters around and the risk of running into a bear, a
..300WSM Tikka is on order. Just a shame Canadian law prevents me from taking
my .40S&W pistol with me when walking in the woods - it might be a good bear
deterent!
!