1. First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAH-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules: hold on and pray.
3. All directions start with, "Go down Belt Line" ...which has no beginning and no end.
4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic "a scenic drive."
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10-ish. The lunch rush hour is from 11:00 to 2:00--so plan your hunger accordingly. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7-ish. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will get rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.
7. Arapaho Road can only be pronounced by a native. The same holds true for Wycliff Avenue, Worcola St. & Sul Ross.
8. Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
9. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we are in Fort Worth!" [Fort Worth is a nearby city]
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it's probably a factory defect.
11. All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs have the right of way.
12. Story Road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections.
13. If asking directions in the Irving side, you must be bilingual. [Irving is another nearby city]
14. Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport has eight terminal buildings connected by one tram that never works.
15. A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
16. The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff isn't ornamental.
17. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone. Concealed weapons are a jealously guarded God-given right.
18. The parks in the Park Cities are for those residents only. If you have an out-of-state driver's license, you will probably be let out of jail in a couple of hours after a stern lecture from the judge.
19. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.
20. The sign on the freeway that says, "Slower traffic keep right" IS there for your safety. This rule also applies to neighborhood streets.
21. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
22. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Livestock Show is going on.
23. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round.
24. Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports, etc. are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.
25. If you need to ask for directions, get ALL the names of the street you are being told to turn onto...we intermix numbers, letters, and names for the same road, and even tend to make a few up as we grow older. And remember, no street is perfectly north/south or east/west in the whole area. Those directionals are not meant to be taken literally nor does any road maintain
the same compass heading for more than a mile. If your Mapsco is more than two weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one.
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram