Discovering new peeves: read below....

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

<peeve>
1) Players who don't consistently show up, granted people have lives and
emergencies come up, but dimmit not every week someone's cat dies to allow a
stay of execution.
2)Refering to item one (1): The bounty of lame excuses that come with not
appearing to play the game when scheduled.
The reason this one bugs me is becuase I have 'hit the reset switch' on
a game I've tried to get started three times now, becuase of players doing
one session and then bailing one me. Admittedly, I'm a rookie to DMing, but
rather than bailing ya think someone would tell me that I need to fix this
or tweak that rather than up 'n' leaving.
3) Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.
One of the players has a three-year-old daughter that she brings over
who gets into everything and anything not nailed down. Making matters worse
is the thought that because the player declared her kid my goddaughter, that
I have to put up with this major inconvienence.
</peeve>

Maybe it's just because I'm on 'the other side of the fence', but I always
though that DMing was easy from the player's POV since he had to react to
what the players did and make sure that they stuck close to his script.
yeesh

Pointers would be great BTW

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

Jerry Chesko wrote:

> <peeve>
> 1) Players who don't consistently show up, granted people have lives and
> emergencies come up, but dimmit not every week someone's cat dies to allow a
> stay of execution.
> 2)Refering to item one (1): The bounty of lame excuses that come with not
> appearing to play the game when scheduled.
> The reason this one bugs me is becuase I have 'hit the reset switch' on
> a game I've tried to get started three times now, becuase of players doing
> one session and then bailing one me. Admittedly, I'm a rookie to DMing, but
> rather than bailing ya think someone would tell me that I need to fix this
> or tweak that rather than up 'n' leaving.
> 3) Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.
> One of the players has a three-year-old daughter that she brings over
> who gets into everything and anything not nailed down. Making matters worse
> is the thought that because the player declared her kid my goddaughter, that
> I have to put up with this major inconvienence.
> </peeve>
>
> Maybe it's just because I'm on 'the other side of the fence', but I always
> though that DMing was easy from the player's POV since he had to react to
> what the players did and make sure that they stuck close to his script.
> yeesh
>
> Pointers would be great BTW

Regarding the child...

I have my own (now 5-year-old) child, and IME as both a player and a DM
on nights when he is in my sole care... (Yeah, try *DMing* with a small
child in *your* care sometime...)

The best solution is to play at the house of the parent with the child,
and have them be a *player* not a DM. As a player you can go off to fix
a poopie diaper or whatever for 5 minutes and the game will usually go
on without you. Not so for a DM.

For the child, a new house means excitement means even more energetic
and impossible to get to sleep than usual. I'd never bring my son to
someone else's house to game; I know I'd spend the whole night chasing
him around and entertaining him. He's just too young for that now. I
think it might help if you schedule to game at the mother's house, if
possible.

- Ron ^*^

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

Jerry Chesko wrote:
> <peeve>
> 1) Players who don't consistently show up, granted people have lives
and
> emergencies come up, but dimmit not every week someone's cat dies to
allow a
> stay of execution.
> 2)Refering to item one (1): The bounty of lame excuses that come with
not
> appearing to play the game when scheduled.
> The reason this one bugs me is becuase I have 'hit the reset
switch' on
> a game I've tried to get started three times now, becuase of players
doing
> one session and then bailing one me. Admittedly, I'm a rookie to
DMing, but
> rather than bailing ya think someone would tell me that I need to fix
this
> or tweak that rather than up 'n' leaving.

How often are you trying to get everyone together? One thing I've
learned since going from "magical college time" to Real Adult Life is
that calendars fill quickly and without warning, weeks and sometimes
months in advance. Assuming that you and your players are all busy,
working types, you may be trying to play too often. As repugnant as it
sounds, you might have to settle for a game every two or three weeks
(or even longer), with lots of advance warning to everyone involved.
Even this isn't a perfect solution, but it might ease off on the
schedule conflicts and give everyone time to plan around your game.

If, however, your players are simply flakes, then there probably isn't
a solution that will get them to show up with consistency. You might
have to settle for a game filled with one-shots and episodic,
unconnected (or thinly connected) adventures. There are ways to do
this that work well if you take the bull by the horns and give up on
the traditional notion of "one party, one quest."

Are all your players having trouble showing up, or do you have a "core
group" of players that can be counted on? If the latter, you could
design your games around those players, and consign the others to
incidental roles ("Here's this week's NPC. Have fun!") until they get
the message and/or leave entirely.


> 3) Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.
> One of the players has a three-year-old daughter that she brings
over
> who gets into everything and anything not nailed down. Making
matters worse
> is the thought that because the player declared her kid my
goddaughter, that
> I have to put up with this major inconvienence.
> </peeve>

Ron and Wasp have already provided excellent thoughts on this: Play at
the parent's house, and put the kid(s) to bed before starting. I know
that putting a young child to bed in a house full of company can be a
challenge, but there is no alternative if you want an uninterrupted
game.

>
> Maybe it's just because I'm on 'the other side of the fence', but I
always
> though that DMing was easy from the player's POV since he had to
react to
> what the players did and make sure that they stuck close to his
script.
> yeesh

Ain't it a bitch? GMing any game is one of those jobs you have to
*love* in order to do. It becomes easier as you go, but it never
becomes easy. Just remember to never sell yourself short, and don't
become a doormat. The DM is a player, too, and has just as much right
to a good time as everyone else at the table.

Oh, and this idea you have about making sure the players stick to the
DM's "script?" The sooner you dump that, the saner you'll be.

--
Jay Knioum
The Mad Afro

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

Jerry Chesko wrote:
> "Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message

> > The best solution is to play at the house of the parent with the
child,
> > and have them be a *player* not a DM. As a player you can go off
to fix a
> > poopie diaper or whatever for 5 minutes and the game will usually
go on
> > without you. Not so for a DM.
>
> Shie *is* the player, the problem I'm having (besides a misplaced
spine, in
> my wife's honest opinion) is that she comes over and just lets the
hellion
> run amok. I'm the only one willing to DM the sessions so everyone is
torn
> between keeping said hellion
> out of thier things and paying attention to what I'm
doing/saying/whatever.


I'm assuming that this player is a close friend of yours, or at least
not someone you can just throw to the curb. Obviously, you're going to
have to talk to this player, and let her know what the problem is. It
would probably help to have a solution in your back pocket that doesn't
sound like an ultimatim.

What if the group offered to help find and pay for a babysitter for
game nights? Take up a collection for this purpose, and ask around at
work, church, the neighborhood, family, or other social circle for
recommendations.

If any players balk at this idea, remind them that creating a stable
game environment is *everyone's* concern, not just the DM's. If someone
comes up with a feasible alternative that doesn't involve screaming
hissy fits and years of tension, then you're all ears.

--
Jay Knioum
The Mad Afro

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

> Pointers would be great BTW
>
>

"Just Say No."

My players know that I don't run games for players who don't show.
Once in twenty meetings, okay. Once every three or four, you're gone.

Game does not begin until children are in bed. I have three kids. One
is an infant easily controlled by mommy (i.e., she whines, mommy
nurses her, she goes to sleep). The other two are quite capable of
major disruption, so they get put to bed by 8:00 on game nights. The
older one is allowed to stay up until 9 but he has to stay in his
room reading or something of that nature.

No other activities permitted besides the game. You are here to play,
I am here to run. If you want to have phone conversations, play video
games, or read books, you aren't playing.


--
Sea Wasp
/^\
;;;
Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/seawasp/

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

I'm in a game with a player that has a young daughter. (3 years old?)
Sometimes he is forced to watch her while we play. In those cases, we
play at his house. This is nice, because the kid has a TV, a puppy,
and everything else she needs. When the kid gets put to bed (7:30 or
8PM), the player leaves the table and we continue on. We usually don't
make major decisions or enter battle during the 15 minutes that he's
gone, but we do continue. When he comes back, things move right along.

A few years ago, I played with a DM that had 3 (three) young boys of
about 5 years. Though we played at his house, the situation was very
different. Though they were well-behaved, it's impossible to have
three boys in one house and not have at least one fight. The DM had to
stop the game, and thus, so did we. At bed time (again, 7:30 or 8PM),
the game stopped for 20 or 30 minutes. The whole game STOPPED, though.

We all had a talk, and we tried to work through the situation. We
tried playing on a night on which the DM's wife could watch the kids.
We tried playing at another house. It turned out that these changes
were hard on everyone else, and so the DM eventually quit gaming
altogether. It was best for everyone involved.


- Kertis

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

Jeff Goslin wrote:
> Yes, I highly recommend actively recruiting dyed in the wool 100%
pure and
> unadulterated dorks to play with. It makes D&D the default first
priority,
> because they generally have little else to do. Sure, they may not
smell
> nice or be couth or anything, but hey, at least you can always count
on em
> showing up!

Unless they don't have a ride because their 1985 hatchback broke down
and their mother can't ride them that day.

- Kertis

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

"Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
news:5ZZae.32629$d43.737@lakeread03...
>
>
> Jerry Chesko wrote:
>
>> <peeve>
>> 1) Players who don't consistently show up, granted people have lives and
>> emergencies come up, but dimmit not every week someone's cat dies to
>> allow a stay of execution.
>> 2)Refering to item one (1): The bounty of lame excuses that come with not
>> appearing to play the game when scheduled.
>> The reason this one bugs me is becuase I have 'hit the reset switch'
>> on a game I've tried to get started three times now, becuase of players
>> doing one session and then bailing one me. Admittedly, I'm a rookie to
>> DMing, but rather than bailing ya think someone would tell me that I need
>> to fix this or tweak that rather than up 'n' leaving.
>> 3) Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.
>> One of the players has a three-year-old daughter that she brings over
>> who gets into everything and anything not nailed down. Making matters
>> worse is the thought that because the player declared her kid my
>> goddaughter, that I have to put up with this major inconvienence.
>> </peeve>
>>
>> Maybe it's just because I'm on 'the other side of the fence', but I
>> always though that DMing was easy from the player's POV since he had to
>> react to what the players did and make sure that they stuck close to his
>> script. yeesh
>>
>> Pointers would be great BTW
>
> Regarding the child...
>
> I have my own (now 5-year-old) child, and IME as both a player and a DM on
> nights when he is in my sole care... (Yeah, try *DMing* with a small
> child in *your* care sometime...)
>
> The best solution is to play at the house of the parent with the child,
> and have them be a *player* not a DM. As a player you can go off to fix a
> poopie diaper or whatever for 5 minutes and the game will usually go on
> without you. Not so for a DM.

Shie *is* the player, the problem I'm having (besides a misplaced spine, in
my wife's honest opinion) is that she comes over and just lets the hellion
run amok. I'm the only one willing to DM the sessions so everyone is torn
between keeping said hellion
out of thier things and paying attention to what I'm doing/saying/whatever.

> For the child, a new house means excitement means even more energetic and
> impossible to get to sleep than usual. I'd never bring my son to someone
> else's house to game; I know I'd spend the whole night chasing him around
> and entertaining him. He's just too young for that now. I think it might
> help if you schedule to game at the mother's house, if possible.
>
> - Ron ^*^
>

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

No 33 Secretary wrote:
> "madafro@sbcglobal.net" <madafro@sbcglobal.net> wrote:

> > What if the group offered to help find and pay for a babysitter for
> > game nights? Take up a collection for this purpose, and ask around
at
> > work, church, the neighborhood, family, or other social circle for
> > recommendations.
> >
> > If any players balk at this idea, remind them that creating a
stable
> > game environment is *everyone's* concern, not just the DM's.
>
> If someone did that to me, I'd find a new group to game with. The moo
needs
> to take responsibility for the kid she's produced, starting with
> *controlling* its behavior. Until that can be done without constant
> supervision, the kid is unfit for public appearances, and needs to be
kept
> home.


Yes, I have to admit to a pronounced lack of player perspective (not to
mention common sense) in my suggestion. I tried to think of a single
player I've ever gamed with that would have stood for a mandatory
babysitting pool; even the most generous among them would have called
me aside and asked if I was nuts.

Not one of my better ideas, then.

--
Jay Knioum
The Mad Afro

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

"Sea Wasp" <seaobviouswasp@sgeobviousinc.com> wrote in message
news:426CCD15.4020808@sgeobviousinc.com...
>
>> Pointers would be great BTW
>
> "Just Say No."
>
> My players know that I don't run games for players who don't show. Once in
> twenty meetings, okay. Once every three or four, you're gone.
>
> Game does not begin until children are in bed. I have three kids. One is
> an infant easily controlled by mommy (i.e., she whines, mommy nurses her,
> she goes to sleep). The other two are quite capable of major disruption,
> so they get put to bed by 8:00 on game nights. The older one is allowed to
> stay up until 9 but he has to stay in his room reading or something of
> that nature.

What about hellions with no genetic ties to you and mother in q does nothing
to put aforementioned hellion in check? I'm getting tired of players not
showing up, but kicking one out coz of her brat doesn't sound to palatable
right now.... *sigh*

 

[drow]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

Alien mind control rays made Jerry Chesko <res7g0hd@verizon.net> write:
> The reason this one bugs me is becuase I have 'hit the reset switch' on
> a game I've tried to get started three times now, becuase of players doing
> one session and then bailing one me. Admittedly, I'm a rookie to DMing, but
> rather than bailing ya think someone would tell me that I need to fix this
> or tweak that rather than up 'n' leaving.

don't hit reset switches, its not worth it. absent players IMC have
their characters develop narcolepsy, and count themselves lucky if
thats all. one character was abandonned by the party on a jungle world
overrun by fire-breathing tyrannosaurs. (they did try to leave him a
note and gate key, but one of the other characters threw it away.)

it was okay, in the end. he showed up in the next campaign as a blind,
mad hermit carrying a bag full of holy light for reasons which have yet
to be made sensible.

> 3) Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.
> One of the players has a three-year-old daughter that she brings over
> who gets into everything and anything not nailed down. Making matters worse
> is the thought that because the player declared her kid my goddaughter, that
> I have to put up with this major inconvienence.

no, you don't. take the player aside, and let her know that your house
is not child-safe, and you're concerned for the well-being of your
goddaughter. it would be much better if she were left in the secure
conditions of her own home, under the care of a good babysitter. you
can start with little things, like open cabinets, and move up to
unattended bottles of arsenic and sharp objects over time.

--
\^\ // drow@bin.sh (CARRIER LOST) <http://www.bin.sh/>
\ // - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
// \ X-Windows: Form follows malfunction.
// \_\ -- Dude from DPAK

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

"Jerry Chesko" <res7g0hd@verizon.net> wrote in
news:WJYae.3727$yc.2697@trnddc04:
>
> Pointers would be great BTW
>
Get yourself a Sears catalog, and order a spine. At this point, you'll need
the deluxe model.

--
Terry Austin
www.hyperbooks.com
Campaign Cartographer now available

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

"Jerry Chesko" <res7g0hd@verizon.net> wrote in
newsd7be.257$fW1.168@trnddc02:

>
> "Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
> news:5ZZae.32629$d43.737@lakeread03...
>>
>>
>> Jerry Chesko wrote:
>>
>>> <peeve>
>>> 1) Players who don't consistently show up, granted people have lives
>>> and emergencies come up, but dimmit not every week someone's cat
>>> dies to allow a stay of execution.
>>> 2)Refering to item one (1): The bounty of lame excuses that come
>>> with not appearing to play the game when scheduled.
>>> The reason this one bugs me is becuase I have 'hit the reset
>>> switch'
>>> on a game I've tried to get started three times now, becuase of
>>> players doing one session and then bailing one me. Admittedly, I'm
>>> a rookie to DMing, but rather than bailing ya think someone would
>>> tell me that I need to fix this or tweak that rather than up 'n'
>>> leaving. 3) Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.
>>> One of the players has a three-year-old daughter that she brings
>>> over
>>> who gets into everything and anything not nailed down. Making
>>> matters worse is the thought that because the player declared her
>>> kid my goddaughter, that I have to put up with this major
>>> inconvienence. </peeve>
>>>
>>> Maybe it's just because I'm on 'the other side of the fence', but I
>>> always though that DMing was easy from the player's POV since he had
>>> to react to what the players did and make sure that they stuck close
>>> to his script. yeesh
>>>
>>> Pointers would be great BTW
>>
>> Regarding the child...
>>
>> I have my own (now 5-year-old) child, and IME as both a player and a
>> DM on nights when he is in my sole care... (Yeah, try *DMing* with a
>> small child in *your* care sometime...)
>>
>> The best solution is to play at the house of the parent with the
>> child, and have them be a *player* not a DM. As a player you can go
>> off to fix a poopie diaper or whatever for 5 minutes and the game
>> will usually go on without you. Not so for a DM.
>
> Shie *is* the player, the problem I'm having (besides a misplaced
> spine, in my wife's honest opinion) is that she comes over and just
> lets the hellion run amok.

Tell her it is unacceptable, and she _must_ either control the child, or
not show up. Mean it.

Otherwise, the child runs the game. Period. Get used to it.

--
Terry Austin
www.hyperbooks.com
Campaign Cartographer now available

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

"Jerry Chesko" <res7g0hd@verizon.net> wrote in
news:Ci7be.258$fW1.196@trnddc02:

>
> "Sea Wasp" <seaobviouswasp@sgeobviousinc.com> wrote in message
> news:426CCD15.4020808@sgeobviousinc.com...
>>
>>> Pointers would be great BTW
>>
>> "Just Say No."
>>
>> My players know that I don't run games for players who don't show.
>> Once in twenty meetings, okay. Once every three or four, you're gone.
>>
>> Game does not begin until children are in bed. I have three kids. One
>> is an infant easily controlled by mommy (i.e., she whines, mommy
>> nurses her, she goes to sleep). The other two are quite capable of
>> major disruption, so they get put to bed by 8:00 on game nights. The
>> older one is allowed to stay up until 9 but he has to stay in his
>> room reading or something of that nature.
>
> What about hellions with no genetic ties to you and mother in q does
> nothing to put aforementioned hellion in check?

Get a spine, and tell the moo to keep her animal out of your house, even if
it means keeping herself out of your house. The only way you can associate
with this person is to allow her crotch fruit to run rampant through your
house. That's reality. Make your choice. Either get rid of the player, or
stop whining about what *you* choose to allow.

> I'm getting tired of
> players not showing up, but kicking one out coz of her brat doesn't
> sound to palatable right now.... *sigh*
>
Then stop whining. You've chosen to be a babysitter rather than a GM.

And, consider this: The crotch fruit is probably the reason *why* the other
players don't bother to show up. They don't like the kid, and would rather
play Nintendo that be around it. Ask them, point blank, if that's the case,
and you'll be appalled at the answers.

--
Terry Austin
www.hyperbooks.com
Campaign Cartographer now available

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

"Jerry Chesko" <res7g0hd@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:Ci7be.258$fW1.196@trnddc02...
>
> "Sea Wasp" <seaobviouswasp@sgeobviousinc.com> wrote in message
> news:426CCD15.4020808@sgeobviousinc.com...
>>
>>> Pointers would be great BTW
>>
>> "Just Say No."
>>
>> My players know that I don't run games for players who don't show. Once
>> in
>> twenty meetings, okay. Once every three or four, you're gone.
>>
>> Game does not begin until children are in bed. I have three kids. One is
>> an infant easily controlled by mommy (i.e., she whines, mommy nurses her,
>> she goes to sleep). The other two are quite capable of major disruption,
>> so they get put to bed by 8:00 on game nights. The older one is allowed
>> to
>> stay up until 9 but he has to stay in his room reading or something of
>> that nature.
>
> What about hellions with no genetic ties to you

How is this even relevant?

> and mother in q does nothing to put aforementioned hellion in check?

The problem isn't the "hellion," bub. The mother is the one that needs to
be "put in check". Either do it or don't complain about the inevitable
results.

--
^v^v^Malachias Invictus^v^v^

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the Master of my fate:
I am the Captain of my soul.

from _Invictus_, by William Ernest Henley

 

[Guest]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

"madafro@sbcglobal.net" <madafro@sbcglobal.net> wrote in
news:1114446335.524184.129570@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com:

>
> Jerry Chesko wrote:
>> "Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
>
>> > The best solution is to play at the house of the parent with the
> child,
>> > and have them be a *player* not a DM. As a player you can go off
> to fix a
>> > poopie diaper or whatever for 5 minutes and the game will usually
> go on
>> > without you. Not so for a DM.
>>
>> Shie *is* the player, the problem I'm having (besides a misplaced
> spine, in
>> my wife's honest opinion) is that she comes over and just lets the
> hellion
>> run amok. I'm the only one willing to DM the sessions so everyone is
> torn
>> between keeping said hellion
>> out of thier things and paying attention to what I'm
> doing/saying/whatever.
>
>
> I'm assuming that this player is a close friend of yours, or at least
> not someone you can just throw to the curb. Obviously, you're going to
> have to talk to this player, and let her know what the problem is. It
> would probably help to have a solution in your back pocket that doesn't
> sound like an ultimatim.
>
> What if the group offered to help find and pay for a babysitter for
> game nights? Take up a collection for this purpose, and ask around at
> work, church, the neighborhood, family, or other social circle for
> recommendations.
>
> If any players balk at this idea, remind them that creating a stable
> game environment is *everyone's* concern, not just the DM's.

If someone did that to me, I'd find a new group to game with. The moo needs
to take responsibility for the kid she's produced, starting with
*controlling* its behavior. Until that can be done without constant
supervision, the kid is unfit for public appearances, and needs to be kept
home.

> If someone
> comes up with a feasible alternative that doesn't involve screaming
> hissy fits and years of tension, then you're all ears.
>
Here's a feasible alterantive: it's a game, not a babysitting session. Make
your choice: which do you want. If it's babysitting session, expect the
gamers to find better things to do with their time.

--
Terry Austin
www.hyperbooks.com
Campaign Cartographer now available

 

[Jordan]

Archived from groups: rec.games.frp.dnd (More info?)

On Mon, 25 Apr 2005 02:37:42 GMT, "Jerry Chesko"
<res7g0hd@verizon.net> wrote:

><peeve>
>1) Players who don't consistently show up, granted people have lives and
>emergencies come up, but dimmit not every week someone's cat dies to allow a
>stay of execution.
>2)Refering to item one (1): The bounty of lame excuses that come with not
>appearing to play the game when scheduled.
> The reason this one bugs me is becuase I have 'hit the reset switch' on
>a game I've tried to get started three times now, becuase of players doing
>one session and then bailing one me. Admittedly, I'm a rookie to DMing, but
>rather than bailing ya think someone would tell me that I need to fix this
>or tweak that rather than up 'n' leaving.

That's not too cool; I've got a campaign running online...originally I
was supposed to have about 10 players; I now have 2 or 3. They left,
but I admittedly know that was mostly my fault.

>3) Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.
> One of the players has a three-year-old daughter that she brings over
>who gets into everything and anything not nailed down. Making matters worse
>is the thought that because the player declared her kid my goddaughter, that
>I have to put up with this major inconvienence.

I can only be glad that's not where my age group is.

>Maybe it's just because I'm on 'the other side of the fence', but I always
>though that DMing was easy from the player's POV since he had to react to
>what the players did and make sure that they stuck close to his script.
>yeesh

No kidding; I'm a noob DM and my player got seriously pissed off at me
because I forgot their Magic Circle Against Evil spell effect hadn't
worn off. This is the first time they'd ever cast the spell, and they
got pissed since I couldn't remember that it was 10 mins/level instead
of just 1. I told them to keep track of the spell effects themselves,
and the one guy nearly tore my head off.

They figured it out after a little while, by the fact that I had about
50 sheets of paper where they had maybe 20 between them.

>Pointers would be great BTW

Good luck?

Jordan

 

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Jerry Chesko wrote:

> "Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
> news:5ZZae.32629$d43.737@lakeread03...
>
>>
>>Jerry Chesko wrote:
>>
>>
>>><peeve>
>>>1) Players who don't consistently show up, granted people have lives and
>>>emergencies come up, but dimmit not every week someone's cat dies to
>>>allow a stay of execution.
>>>2)Refering to item one (1): The bounty of lame excuses that come with not
>>>appearing to play the game when scheduled.
>>> The reason this one bugs me is becuase I have 'hit the reset switch'
>>>on a game I've tried to get started three times now, becuase of players
>>>doing one session and then bailing one me. Admittedly, I'm a rookie to
>>>DMing, but rather than bailing ya think someone would tell me that I need
>>>to fix this or tweak that rather than up 'n' leaving.
>>>3) Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.
>>> One of the players has a three-year-old daughter that she brings over
>>>who gets into everything and anything not nailed down. Making matters
>>>worse is the thought that because the player declared her kid my
>>>goddaughter, that I have to put up with this major inconvienence.
>>></peeve>
>>>
>>>Maybe it's just because I'm on 'the other side of the fence', but I
>>>always though that DMing was easy from the player's POV since he had to
>>>react to what the players did and make sure that they stuck close to his
>>>script. yeesh
>>>
>>>Pointers would be great BTW
>>
>>Regarding the child...
>>
>>I have my own (now 5-year-old) child, and IME as both a player and a DM on
>>nights when he is in my sole care... (Yeah, try *DMing* with a small
>>child in *your* care sometime...)
>>
>>The best solution is to play at the house of the parent with the child,
>>and have them be a *player* not a DM. As a player you can go off to fix a
>>poopie diaper or whatever for 5 minutes and the game will usually go on
>>without you. Not so for a DM.
>
>
> Shie *is* the player, the problem I'm having (besides a misplaced spine, in
> my wife's honest opinion) is that she comes over and just lets the hellion
> run amok. I'm the only one willing to DM the sessions so everyone is torn
> between keeping said hellion
> out of thier things and paying attention to what I'm doing/saying/whatever.

Right, I got that part.

I was thinking of my own experience gaming with my infant son. When my
ex and I divorced, we agreed to share 50/50 joint custody so I match her
hour for hour every week in time spent with our son. Because I work and
she doesn't <bites tongue>, this usually means I have him 4 nights a
weeks plus time on weekends.

When he was an infant/toddler, we had two games running at my apartment.
I DMed one and a friend DMed the other. I always made sure I didn't
have my son on the nights I was DMing, because I knew he would be a
major distraction. I also always made sure I *did* have him on the
nights I was a player in the other game, because I didn't want to eat up
two of my 3 childfree nights a week with gaming.

My son is actually a pretty sedate kid, and went to bed at 8:00 without
waking up (no matter how much noise we made in the next room). This
meant that until 8 or so, I as a player might be absent for 5 minutes at
a time changing poopie diapers, making bottles/food, entertaining, etc.
Not really a huge deal, as it would have been were I DMing.

Years later, my friend moved into his own house some distance away and I
moved into my current girlfriend's house. We started new campaigns
around that time, but this time my friend wanted to run his at his
house. This was his prerogative, but it caused me some trouble because
I now had to choose between eating up two childfree nights a week with
gaming, and trying to DM with my son present until bedtime (with the
game screeching to a halt whenever I needed to tend to him). I knew
right away that bringing him to my friend's house would be a disaster,
because he'd never go to sleep in an unfamiliar house with what would
amount to a "party" going on.

At the same time, I thought it was important for him to be exposed to my
friends and to enjoy some time with the "grownups". Now my ideal would
still be to run my game while he wasn't here, and have the other game
run here on a night when I have him, but as my friend won't go for that
idea, I've been compromising by having my juggling my schedule with my
son to have him here every other game session that I DM, and never on
nights at my friend's house. It helps a lot that my girlfriend is
usually here on nights that my son is, and she doesn't mind helping with
him.

As there will be a new arrival here in about two months (son #2), soon
this will be something of a moot issue for me because there will simply
be no nights when there are no children around at this house. I still
think it would be best for the two DMs (myself and my friend) to switch
houses during our respective gaming sessions, so we are players while we
are tending to our kids (he has a toddling daughter), but he won't go
for the idea. I can't say I really blame him -- we game in his basement
and his wife takes the little one all night, so we hardly even see her.
I have a feeling his viewpoint might change if he ever has a little
son around (or even if his daughter takes a vocal interest in hanging
out with us when she starts talking), but that's how it stands now.

- Ron ^*^

 

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"Jerry Chesko" <res7g0hd@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:Ci7be.258$fW1.196@trnddc02...
>
> "Sea Wasp" <seaobviouswasp@sgeobviousinc.com> wrote in message
> news:426CCD15.4020808@sgeobviousinc.com...

>> Game does not begin until children are in bed. I have three kids. One is
>> an infant easily controlled by mommy (i.e., she whines, mommy nurses her,
>> she goes to sleep). The other two are quite capable of major disruption,
>> so they get put to bed by 8:00 on game nights. The older one is allowed
>> to
>> stay up until 9 but he has to stay in his room reading or something of
>> that nature.
>
> What about hellions with no genetic ties to you and mother in q does
> nothing
> to put aforementioned hellion in check? I'm getting tired of players not
> showing up, but kicking one out coz of her brat doesn't sound to palatable
> right now.... *sigh*

If the child is that much of a problem then I suggest you talk to the mother
and explain to her that the kid is a distraction to the game and that the
two of you need to come up with a solution. The guidelines above are a good
place to start. Maybe offer to play at her place and/or at a later time to
make things easier for her or whatever. If this is too inconvenient for you
and the other players then maybe the group is better off without that
player.

Really it comes down to how badly you want the player to continue playing
and how much you're willing to accommodate her and her child.


--

-smithdoerr

 

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KertDawg wrote:

> I'm in a game with a player that has a young daughter. (3 years old?)
> Sometimes he is forced to watch her while we play. In those cases, we
> play at his house. This is nice, because the kid has a TV, a puppy,
> and everything else she needs. When the kid gets put to bed (7:30 or
> 8PM), the player leaves the table and we continue on. We usually don't
> make major decisions or enter battle during the 15 minutes that he's
> gone, but we do continue. When he comes back, things move right along.
>
> A few years ago, I played with a DM that had 3 (three) young boys of
> about 5 years. Though we played at his house, the situation was very
> different. Though they were well-behaved, it's impossible to have
> three boys in one house and not have at least one fight. The DM had to
> stop the game, and thus, so did we. At bed time (again, 7:30 or 8PM),
> the game stopped for 20 or 30 minutes. The whole game STOPPED, though.

Right. This is the big difference between a player having a kid in the
house and a DM having a kid in the house. When the DM leaves the table,
the game STOPS.


> We all had a talk, and we tried to work through the situation. We
> tried playing on a night on which the DM's wife could watch the kids.
> We tried playing at another house. It turned out that these changes
> were hard on everyone else, and so the DM eventually quit gaming
> altogether. It was best for everyone involved.

Now that's just sad. Surely he could have kept on as a player in a game
at his house.

- Ron ^*^

 

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KertDawg wrote:

> Jeff Goslin wrote:
>
>>Yes, I highly recommend actively recruiting dyed in the wool 100%
>
> pure and
>
>>unadulterated dorks to play with. It makes D&D the default first
>
> priority,
>
>>because they generally have little else to do. Sure, they may not
>
> smell
>
>>nice or be couth or anything, but hey, at least you can always count
>
> on em
>
>>showing up!
>
>
> Unless they don't have a ride because their 1985 hatchback broke down
> and their mother can't ride them that day.

THAT'S *SICK*!!!

- Ron ^*^

 

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"KertDawg" <kertishenderson@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1114460009.731514.108240@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> Jeff Goslin wrote:
> > Yes, I highly recommend actively recruiting dyed in the wool 100%
> pure and
> > unadulterated dorks to play with. It makes D&D the default first
> priority,
> > because they generally have little else to do. Sure, they may not
> smell
> > nice or be couth or anything, but hey, at least you can always count
> on em
> > showing up!
>
> Unless they don't have a ride because their 1985 hatchback broke down
> and their mother can't ride them that day.

There's a reason dorks ride bicycles...

"I don't *CARE* that it's snowing outside, pedal yer scrawy dorky butt over
here and play D&D with us!!"

--
Jeff Goslin - MCSD - www.goslin.info
It's not a god complex when you're always right

 

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Jerry Chesko wrote:
> [Peeves:] Players who don't consistently show up [and the] bounty of
> lame excuses that come with not appearing to play the game when
> scheduled .... Babysitting players kids while trying to run the game.

These peeves sound typical of a player making the transition from a
"bachelor" group to a "family" group.

In a bachelor group, you can usually count on everyone having similar
schedules and responsibilities, especially if you're all students. For
example, college students have very predictable schedules, with most
weekday evenings and weekend afternoons free, and college groups often
live in the same dorm or house. The only major disruptions are exams,
going home for the weekend, and dating, and even those are pretty
predictable. Players rarely join or leave the group mid-year.

In a young family group, schedules are much less predictable, and
players have more outside responsibilities. Even in a small group,
you'll have a lot of disruptions: players moving (or helping friends
move), weddings and funerals, odd or unpredictable work hours, overtime,
annoying spouses, young children, pets, illness, night school, and so
on. Many of these disruptions disappear in a mature family group, but
it's still never as stable as a bachelor group.

The problems come in two major forms: player attendance and non-player
disruptions (i.e., your two pet peeves). Both problems are largely
inevitable; you can't blow off job and family responsibilities as easily
as you can blow off a college class or a party, nor can you predict the
conflicts as easily.

Of the two, non-player disruptions -- kids, pets, and non-gaming spouses
-- are easier to deal with. You have two major choices: Play at a site
that can accommodate all of the non-players, or you can keep all of the
disruptive non-players away from the game. Either way, you'll need
somebody to keep an eye on the kids -- a baby-sitter, an older sibling,
a non-player or part-time-player spouse, etc. -- and either way, you'll
have occasional disruptions. If you allow non-players at the gaming
site, they'll eventually interfere with the game. If not, you'll have
more attendance problems (player can't get a sitter, player gets called
home for an "emergency," etc.). The only way to avoid this problem
entirely is to recruit gamers that prioritize gaming above all else, or
to learn to tolerate your friends' kids, spouses, and pets.

Schedule problems are harder to avoid but easier to accommodate. Some
groups have had good results with strict attendance policies, but IME
they're more likely to create heavy player turnover instead of
stability. It may seem weird that adult players are less stable than
student players, but adults have more responsibilities than students,
and their schedules are less predictable. The best thing you can to is
to make attendance less important to the game: Keep adventures short,
give PCs plenty of opportunities to come and go, don't script events
around particular players, and be ready to suspend disbelief when a
sudden emergency pulls a player (and his PC) away from the game. (I
prefer that style of play anyway, so adapting to a family group was
easier for me.)
--
Bradd W. Szonye
http://www.szonye.com/bradd

 

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"Jerry Chesko" <res7g0hd@verizon.net> wrote in
newsd7be.257$fW1.168@trnddc02:

>> The best solution is to play at the house of the parent with
>> the child, and have them be a *player* not a DM. As a player
>> you can go off to fix a poopie diaper or whatever for 5 minutes
>> and the game will usually go on without you. Not so for a DM.
>
> Shie *is* the player, the problem I'm having (besides a
> misplaced spine, in my wife's honest opinion) is that she comes
> over and just lets the hellion run amok

So play at her house or mandate that she get a babysitter.

 

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Quentin Stephens wrote:

> "Jerry Chesko" <res7g0hd@verizon.net> wrote in
> newsd7be.257$fW1.168@trnddc02:
>
>
>>>The best solution is to play at the house of the parent with
>>>the child, and have them be a *player* not a DM. As a player
>>>you can go off to fix a poopie diaper or whatever for 5 minutes
>>>and the game will usually go on without you. Not so for a DM.
>>
>>Shie *is* the player, the problem I'm having (besides a
>>misplaced spine, in my wife's honest opinion) is that she comes
>>over and just lets the hellion run amok
>
>
> So play at her house or mandate that she get a babysitter.

I agree.

- Ron ^*^