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Very Big CPU Troubles

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September 4, 2002 2:44:16 AM

Well I bought a new computer recently and i wanted to make it go faster. I surfed the web, and found a website that said to make your CPU faster take it out and something along the lines of "Buy thermal gell and spread it over the top and bottom of cpu. Put the CPU in microwave for 15 seconds on low" . I followed the directions exactly, and when i put my CPU back in, my computer just beeps. How did I follow these directions wrong? Any help would be great!

More about : big cpu troubles

September 4, 2002 2:53:24 AM

rofl!

how do you shoot the devil in the back? what happens if you miss? -verbal
September 4, 2002 3:07:19 AM

no way,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,lmfao


Before i put my ATHLON XP on prozac, it thought it was a PENTIUM 4
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a c 95 à CPUs
September 4, 2002 3:13:08 AM

If this is not a joke and you really did it, do yourself a favor, and delete your post as soon as possible.

Details, Details, Its all in the Details, If you need help, Don't leave out the Details.
September 4, 2002 3:52:33 AM

Good job, you just cooked your CPU.

Knowledge is the key to understanding
September 4, 2002 4:00:53 AM

delete his post? i was thinking more along the lines of buying a shotgun, a bottle of whiskey and one shell.
September 4, 2002 4:04:26 AM

For best results, cook your cpu in a conventional oven instead of a microwave. Your cpu will come out crispy and delicious every time!

To start press any key. Where's the "any" key? --Homer Simpson.
September 4, 2002 4:20:26 AM

What website did you read this ? Julia Childs ???

Cheers,
JasonR

*** Most PC problems can be fixed by using a bigger hammer ***
September 4, 2002 4:29:25 AM

I want to buy a bigger HD for my 1998 cop. which has a pentium MMX. Will it accept a 40 GB drive. How big can I go?
a c 95 à CPUs
September 4, 2002 10:17:35 PM

Don't you think our hero would get better results if he heated the shotgun shell in the oven before he used it.

Details, Details, Its all in the Details, If you need help, Don't leave out the Details.
September 4, 2002 10:30:37 PM

LOL!

after thinking about it though, i can see why he failed. he didn't wrap the cpu in aluminum foil! it locks in the moisture and the cpu will not come out all dry and flaky. it'll be slightly moist and oh so tender.
September 4, 2002 11:06:31 PM

You people have been most unhelpful.
September 4, 2002 11:39:15 PM

Well I aint never heard of this technique, and I guess no one else has heard of it either. Right a couple of things:

1. Dont put metal in a microwave, they tend to explode, trust me, we tried it to make sure....I now have a heathly green glow when I turn the lights off.

2. The microwvae works by using a strong alternating magnetic field. When metal or in your case a processor is placed in the microwave a large voltage is induced in the metallic parts of the processor, this has now destroyed the chip probably. Also if I suppose it induced a large enough voltage you could have undoped some silicon in the die. Therefore rendering it useless.

I really hope this is a joke, otherwise we will have to start a help the guy who microwaved his CPU fund.

You could try sending it back to the manufacturer (AMD or the dealer you bought it from.) If they accept it, please post a thread because it will give hope to all those people who put their processors in the microwave.

Good Luck, if this aint a joke.
BTW post the webbie address if it is true, we can kill the website owner.
September 4, 2002 11:41:05 PM

Oh man, You have got to be kidding me. Why the hell would u do that, jesus, are u like a stoned martha stewert. You should try a pressure cooker or something.

Look bud, if you really did that I hope u learned your lesson. Its not a good lesson but dude, i really hope u are jokin. I can't believe someone would post that on the web.

I DONT HAVE TO OVERCLOCK MY NEXT COMPUTER, I WILL THROW THE WHOLE THING IN THE MICROWAVE WITH VASELINE PUT ON IT AND WRAPPED IN FOIL, IT WILL RUN GREAT!!!!!!
September 4, 2002 11:56:54 PM

I am sure that the CPU ran great for the first half a second it was in the microwave. But what good is a CPU that only works for half a second when it isn't even in a Mobo.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. :eek: 
September 5, 2002 12:05:22 AM

I am going to find that website. It will be great.

WISH ME LUCK GUYS!!!!
September 5, 2002 12:06:16 AM

Well it was a joke. I dont think anyone would really try that. I got the idea from something i heard about how to burn CD's... Get the CD you want to burn, put peanut butter on it, and press the other CD on it. Microwave for 2 minutes. Anyway as you might see, I didnt have anything else to do on the internet. Hoolio, good one about trying to return it to mfg :) 
September 5, 2002 12:14:27 AM

Without a PCI ATA controller, you might have a 2GB or 8GB limitation. This depends on your systems BIOS type and version. I dont think you can go higher than 8GB with original pentium systems. AZ
a c 95 à CPUs
September 5, 2002 3:06:48 AM

Thanks for the good laugh, I really needed it!

Details, Details, Its all in the Details, If you need help, Don't leave out the Details.
a c 95 à CPUs
September 5, 2002 3:09:16 AM

Hey if you find that site post back.

Details, Details, Its all in the Details, If you need help, Don't leave out the Details.
September 5, 2002 3:16:51 AM

hahahaha
very funny thread

<b>My CPU cooler is so Massive it bends Space and Time! :eek:  </b>
September 5, 2002 3:40:58 AM

Quote:
I want to buy a bigger HD for my 1998 cop. which has a pentium MMX. Will it accept a 40 GB drive. How big can I go?



That was the most out of place post I ever saw. Like a bald white man at a buckwheat look-a-like contest.

This sig runs too hot.
a b à CPUs
September 5, 2002 3:46:59 AM

I have a 1996 Pentium board by DTK that right now is supporting an 80GB and a 40GB drive in BIOS at full size.

<font color=blue>You're posting in a forum with class. It may be third class, but it's still class!</font color=blue>
a c 95 à CPUs
September 5, 2002 5:43:25 AM

I told you to delete this post, its too late now, the Wolves have found you !!!

Details, Details, Its all in the Details, If you need help, Don't leave out the Details.
September 5, 2002 10:45:15 AM

who is triathlon? is he an alias for someone who is messing around. I think triathlon is really someone like eden haveing a joke. Or is it me, let the hunt begin.....
September 5, 2002 12:30:40 PM

Stop posting thing like that. YOu're going to get me in trouble. I laughed so hard that people were wondering what I was doing over in me cubicle. Now...back to trying to OC my compaq deskpro....do you guys think that NT 4 is a good platform for 3d games?


Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not watching you.
September 5, 2002 4:49:26 PM

Can't we make a hall of fame voor the most ignorand thing you could do with your computer or parts from it. And also for the most out of place post. Then everybody could vote on them and the winner gets a book, like :"Hardware for dummies"
Then I can win the book: "English for dummies"

Ducktape is like THE FORCE, it has a bright site and a dark site and it keeps the universe together
September 5, 2002 9:32:24 PM

Like I said before its a joke... And TriAthlon is just a name I made.
September 5, 2002 10:24:31 PM

Man, that "out-of-place" post is just totally hilarious. I mean, newbies these days are getting more ignorant and moronic.

EDIT: that was a pretty lame joke, if you ask me.
- - -
<font color=green>All good things must come to an end … so they can be replaced by better things! :wink: </font color=green>
<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1><EM>Edited by Dark_Archonis on 09/05/02 06:25 PM.</EM></FONT></P>
September 5, 2002 10:37:56 PM

NT4 does not run direct x so not so good for games.....
September 5, 2002 11:26:04 PM

Yup, it is a joke. i looked for 2 hours for the webpage, and I couldnt find it. Oh, well, it was pretty funny. I bet someone has really done that though. LOL good one.
September 6, 2002 1:04:15 AM

im getting no dialtone on my modem. help me please! LOL
(just to keep up with the completely off topic posts)

<b>Trust Me, Trust Yourself, Trust the Hamster. Anyone else - Shoot Them. :eek:  </b> This sig was proudly brought to you by <i>Hammie</i> :smile:
September 6, 2002 1:13:54 AM

So you're the one who made this joke?

--
When buying an AthlonXP, please make sure the bus is at 133MHZ, or you will get a lower speed!
September 6, 2002 1:14:54 AM

Me?
Wow, I usually skip some threads occasionally, lucky that I visited the link by Metalrocker from another thread to find this.

But.......me??? :eek: 

--
When buying an AthlonXP, please make sure the bus is at 133MHZ, or you will get a lower speed!
September 6, 2002 12:25:56 PM

Are you sure NT4 can't run good games? I tried playing solitaire the other day, and man... those cards were zooming all over the place...I felt like I could just reach out and touch them. And then for the creme' de la creme'...when I won the cards all danced for me!!! Maybe if I OC my office computer some more (ie compaq deskpro) they'll go any faster. Does anyone know if there is a MS solitaire mod that will let me benchmark my computer on the dancing card screen.



Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not watching you.
September 6, 2002 12:29:41 PM

"newbies these days are getting more ignorant..."

I may be a newbie here, but I was cool in high school!!!

Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not watching you.
September 6, 2002 4:01:03 PM

i'v no thought for this guy.put cpu in microwave???¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­
use a shanghainese parlance:u should buy bean curd and bump it with your head to make yourself die.
it's realy lose to u.

<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1><EM>Edited by chinese_boy on 09/06/02 12:25 PM.</EM></FONT></P>
September 7, 2002 6:59:47 PM

Hehe. No, I'm not blaming you. Your actually one of the "good" newbies out there. What I mean is that you don't post nonsense, or flame for no reason.

- - -
<font color=green>All good things must come to an end … so they can be replaced by better things! :wink: </font color=green>
!