Alternate stories of creation?

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Hey all,

I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
some detail about.

Can anyone point me in the right direction to learn a few more details
about the following creation stories, or possibly suggest another
creation story that I might not have thought of but might prove
interesting and/or amusing?

1. The Norse story about a giant killing a cow and somehow making the
world with it

2. The Babylonian tale of Tiamat and Bahamut

3. The Hindu story of the universe springing forth from the navel of a god

4. The Aboriginal myth -- er, theory of intelligent design (I seem to
remember that it was cool but have completely forgotten it)

5. An especially interesting or amusing Native American theory

6. Anything else you can think of that might plausibly be believed by
someone today

Thanks!

- Ron ^*^
 
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In article <427Re.21493$hp.14039@lakeread08>, ranpoirier@cox.net
says...

> 1. The Norse story about a giant killing a cow and somehow making the
> world with it

You mean like this one? :))

http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly041229a.htm

--
"Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been
able to move real mountains ... But it can put
mountains where there are none." -- Nietzsche
 
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Werebat wrote:

>
> Hey all,
>
> I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
> Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
> order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
> creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
> some detail about.
>
> Can anyone point me in the right direction to learn a few more details
> about the following creation stories, or possibly suggest another
> creation story that I might not have thought of but might prove
> interesting and/or amusing?
>
> 1. The Norse story about a giant killing a cow and somehow making the
> world with it
>
> 2. The Babylonian tale of Tiamat and Bahamut
>
> 3. The Hindu story of the universe springing forth from the navel of a god
>
> 4. The Aboriginal myth -- er, theory of intelligent design (I seem to
> remember that it was cool but have completely forgotten it)
>
> 5. An especially interesting or amusing Native American theory
>
> 6. Anything else you can think of that might plausibly be believed by
> someone today
>
> Thanks!
>
> - Ron ^*^

Try http://www.myths.com/pub/myths/myth.html

A portal into mythology with more myths than you can shake
a flying spaghetti monster at.


--

Xenu is around and about,
mention Hubbard, Xenu pops out!
No way for the clams to stamp Xenu out,
Xenu is around and about!

Cheerful Charlie
 
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Werebat wrote:

> 6. Anything else you can think of that might plausibly be believed by
> someone today
>
> Thanks!
>
> - Ron ^*^
>

Well, the Gnostics essentially think that the world was created by an
evil god and that the serpent of Genesis is actually a hero figure.
That alone ought to get them riled up!

http://www.rotten.com/library/religion/gnosticism/

You can also page through this for some amusing entries:

http://www.rotten.com/library/religion/
 
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quibbler wrote:
> In article <427Re.21493$hp.14039@lakeread08>, ranpoirier@cox.net
> says...
>
>
>>1. The Norse story about a giant killing a cow and somehow making the
>>world with it
>
>
> You mean like this one? :))
>
> http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly041229a.htm

Oh, that was choice. This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks!

- Ron ^*^
 
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"Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
news:427Re.21493$hp.14039@lakeread08...
> 1. The Norse story about a giant killing a cow and somehow making the
> world with it
>
> 2. The Babylonian tale of Tiamat and Bahamut
>
> 3. The Hindu story of the universe springing forth from the navel of a god
>
> 4. The Aboriginal myth -- er, theory of intelligent design (I seem to
> remember that it was cool but have completely forgotten it)
>
> 5. An especially interesting or amusing Native American theory
>
> 6. Anything else you can think of that might plausibly be believed by
> someone today

I think you've got "plausible believability" covered, what with the cow and
some navel lint.

--
Jeff Goslin - MCSD - www.goslin.info
It's not a god complex when you're always right
 
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"Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
news:427Re.21493$hp.14039@lakeread08...

>
> 6. Anything else you can think of that might plausibly be believed by
> someone today


Try William S Burroughs spoken word story "Ahpook The Destroyer"
 
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Werebat wrote:

<...>

> 5. An especially interesting or amusing Native American theory

The great god, Okeus, often appeared as a hare. He created men and
women, and kept them in a bag in his great hut, in the direction of the
rising sun. The other gods, the Four Winds, visited the Hare and
wanted to eat the men and women. The Hare drove the Four Winds away.
The Hare then created the water and the fish, and a great deer that he
freed upon the land. This made the Four Winds jealous, so they
returned, killed the deer with spears, dressed and ate the carcass,
then departed again. The Hare, seeing this done, took the hairs of the
slain deer and spread them upon the ground with many powerful words and
spells. Every hair became a deer. He opened the bag and released the
men and women, assigning a man and woman in each country, and so the
world took his first beginning of mankind.

- Creation Myth of the Patawomeck Algonquian
 
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Werebat wrote:
> Hey all,
>
> I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
> Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
> order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
> creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
> some detail about.

That is actually quite good trolling. However, I do not believe that
you are writing such a letter (I did till I saw it was you), and you
shouldn't do, nor anyone else, because those humourless jerks will just
toss it straight in the dumpster.

The foregoing probably counts as you-got-me, so I will add, fperj lbh.
 
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Werebat wrote:
> quibbler wrote:
> > In article <427Re.21493$hp.14039@lakeread08>, ranpoirier@cox.net
> > says...
> >
> >
> >>1. The Norse story about a giant killing a cow and somehow making the
> >>world with it
> >
> >
> > You mean like this one? :))
> >
> > http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly041229a.htm
>
> Oh, that was choice. This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks!
>

ODIN!

Rather powerful argument.

- Justisaur
 
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Master Grunthros the Flatulent wrote:

>
> "Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
> news:427Re.21493$hp.14039@lakeread08...
>
>>
>> 6. Anything else you can think of that might plausibly be believed by
>> someone today
>
>
> Try William S Burroughs spoken word story "Ahpook The Destroyer"


"Some millions of years ago, a drunken, sloppy giant shook globs
of grease from his fingers. One of those globs of grease is our
Universe, heading for the floor. Splat!"



--

Xenu is around and about,
mention Hubbard, Xenu pops out!
No way for the clams to stamp Xenu out,
Xenu is around and about!

Cheerful Charlie
 
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Master Grunthros the Flatulent wrote:

> "Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
> news:427Re.21493$hp.14039@lakeread08...
>
>
>>6. Anything else you can think of that might plausibly be believed by
>>someone today
>
>
>
> Try William S Burroughs spoken word story "Ahpook The Destroyer"

"Death needs time for what it kills to grow in"?

- Ron ^*^
 
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rja.carnegie@excite.com wrote:

> Werebat wrote:
>
>>Hey all,
>>
>>I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
>>Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
>>order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
>>creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
>>some detail about.
>
>
> That is actually quite good trolling. However, I do not believe that
> you are writing such a letter (I did till I saw it was you), and you
> shouldn't do, nor anyone else, because those humourless jerks will just
> toss it straight in the dumpster.
>
> The foregoing probably counts as you-got-me, so I will add, fperj lbh.

You wear your ignorance like it were a badge.

- Ron ^*^
 
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rja.carnegie@excite.com wrote:

> Werebat wrote:
>
>>Hey all,
>>
>>I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
>>Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
>>order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
>>creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
>>some detail about.
>
>
> That is actually quite good trolling. However, I do not believe that
> you are writing such a letter (I did till I saw it was you), and you
> shouldn't do, nor anyone else, because those humourless jerks will just
> toss it straight in the dumpster.
>
> The foregoing probably counts as you-got-me, so I will add, fperj lbh.

You wear your ignorance like it was a badge.

- Ron ^*^
 
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On Wed, 31 Aug 2005 14:22:27 -0400, Werebat <ranpoirier@cox.net> scribed
into the ether:

>
>
>rja.carnegie@excite.com wrote:
>
>> Werebat wrote:
>>
>>>Hey all,
>>>
>>>I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
>>>Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
>>>order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
>>>creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
>>>some detail about.
>>
>>
>> That is actually quite good trolling. However, I do not believe that
>> you are writing such a letter (I did till I saw it was you), and you
>> shouldn't do, nor anyone else, because those humourless jerks will just
>> toss it straight in the dumpster.
>>
>> The foregoing probably counts as you-got-me, so I will add, fperj lbh.
>
>You wear your ignorance like it was a badge.

Yea, but you double post!
 
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Matt Frisch wrote:

> On Wed, 31 Aug 2005 14:22:27 -0400, Werebat <ranpoirier@cox.net> scribed
> into the ether:
>
>
>>
>>rja.carnegie@excite.com wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Werebat wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>Hey all,
>>>>
>>>>I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
>>>>Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
>>>>order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
>>>>creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
>>>>some detail about.
>>>
>>>
>>>That is actually quite good trolling. However, I do not believe that
>>>you are writing such a letter (I did till I saw it was you), and you
>>>shouldn't do, nor anyone else, because those humourless jerks will just
>>>toss it straight in the dumpster.
>>>
>>>The foregoing probably counts as you-got-me, so I will add, fperj lbh.
>>
>>You wear your ignorance like it was a badge.
>
>
> Yea, but you double post!

My news server made me do it! :^)

- Ron ^*^
 
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"Werebat" <ranpoirier@cox.net> wrote in message
news:zBtRe.21580$hp.10466@lakeread08...

> Here you go, smart guy -- my first draft of my letter to the Kansas
> Board of Education (the final copy will be personalized for each board
> member):

<applause>

--
^v^v^Malachias Invictus^v^v^

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the Master of my fate:
I am the Captain of my soul.

from _Invictus_, by William Ernest Henley
 
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<rja.carnegie@excite.com> wrote in message
news:1125574916.950478.84790@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...

> Okay, I was wrong. You're a little florid, though, there. If you're
> trolling /them/, you need to be terse enough that they read the whole
> thing.
>
> I was also wrong, I think, in stating that your letter will go straight
> in the dumpster. Instead, it'll be counted as a vote of popular
> support for teaching Intelligent Design and /then/ put in the dumpster.
> Instead, you should demand that Intelligent Design is /not/ taught,
> because your belief is the truth.

Where is the fun in that?

> In fact I initially overlooked another error you made: apparently,
> orthodoxy of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is also not ID,
> but against ID.

What makes you think this is an error?

--
^v^v^Malachias Invictus^v^v^

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the Master of my fate:
I am the Captain of my soul.

from _Invictus_, by William Ernest Henley
 
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Werebat wrote:
>
> Here you go, smart guy -- my first draft of my letter to the Kansas
> Board of Education (the final copy will be personalized for each board
> member):
....
> I commend you on your progressive actions, and hope that yours will be
> but the first step on a great journey into a brave new world for
> American education!

:)

Well done. I was suspect of your intentions when you asked for source
material but am very impressed by the result FWIW.


- Sheldon
 
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Sheldon England wrote:
> Werebat wrote:
>
>>Here you go, smart guy -- my first draft of my letter to the Kansas
>>Board of Education (the final copy will be personalized for each board
>>member):
>
> ...
>
>>I commend you on your progressive actions, and hope that yours will be
>>but the first step on a great journey into a brave new world for
>>American education!
>
>
> :)
>
> Well done. I was suspect of your intentions when you asked for source
> material but am very impressed by the result FWIW.

You can always count on me to do my share when it comes to ridiculing
foolish people -- especially foolish people who want to be in charge.

- Ron ^*^
 
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Werebat wrote:

> I assure you that these and other scientific theories of creation and
> diversification are every bit as sound and logical as the more
> mainstream Christian theory of Independent Design, and yet I cannot
^^^^^^^^^^^
Typo critique. Otherwise very nice.

--
Mark.