Dell Guru's I Need Help!

Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!

Dave
16 answers Last reply
More about dell guru help
  1. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    "Mike" <BigDave@Home.com> wrote in message
    news:s9j8u09k593egvd1ph9orso8af3m4cnch1@4ax.com...
    > Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    > being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    > with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    > long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    > now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    > dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    > system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    > won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    > need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    > Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >
    > Dave
    >

    How about a sledgehammer?

    I can't imagine any one here taking this seriously and helping you defraud
    your employer.
  2. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    Using (insulated :) needle nose pliers to short some mobo traces or IC
    pins together might do it
  3. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    In article <s9j8u09k593egvd1ph9orso8af3m4cnch1@4ax.com>,
    BigDave@Home.com says...
    > Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    > being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    > with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    > long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    > now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    > dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    > system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    > won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    > need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    > Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!

    I had a similar problem many years back when I worked for a real estate
    company.

    In that case, I brought in my *personal* laptop which was a better
    machine than the desktop they had me using and I "demonstrated" to them
    how a faster machine increased my productivity. I was able to get a lot
    more work done in the same amount of time and the increased productivity
    reflected well on my boss to his boss. I had a new system within a
    week.

    If you don't have a laptop or you can't do the same demonstration, a
    well written letter to your boss explaining how the better productivity
    would be better for him/her might have the same effect.
  4. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 17:27:16 -0500, "Tom Scales" <tomtoo@softhome.net>
    wrote:

    >
    >"Mike" <BigDave@Home.com> wrote in message
    >news:s9j8u09k593egvd1ph9orso8af3m4cnch1@4ax.com...
    >> Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    >> being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    >> with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    >> long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    >> now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    >> dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    >> system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    >> won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    >> need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    >> Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >>
    >> Dave
    >>
    >
    >How about a sledgehammer?
    >
    >I can't imagine any one here taking this seriously and helping you defraud
    >your employer.
    >

    It was more of joke than anything else but as I got to thinking about
    it I was not sure how one might do so without totally destroying the
    machine. It's a great system for spreadsheets and word processing
    but just can't handle much more than that. Plus the IT Dept. does not
    appear to care either way so I will continue to spend at least a good
    60 min.a day re-booting, running winipcfg to release and renewing the
    IP address so I can find files on the network, and loose work as the
    system GPF's all the time. Basically it a total PITA but if they Boss
    does not care why should I ? LOL!
  5. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    You are there only for their benefit. Clearly in a 'tit for
    tat' relationship, your only purpose here is to maximize YOUR
    resume and maximize your education. If it was a productive
    company (one concerned with their product and their
    customers), then you would not be posting this story. It is a
    company driven by the bean counter mentality. Employees are
    are expense - not an asset.

    In such environments, do not harm your resume. When bean
    counters pretend to be managers, then employees work only for
    themselves. Maximize your value so that you can find a real
    employer. IOW you are, from one perspective, in a somewhat
    enviable position. Take time to find a real job. In the
    meantime concentrate on advancing yourself as much as possible
    at their expense. But do not do physical damage. Do no
    harm. Advance yourself before helping them. Be as selfish as
    they are. But do no harm.

    BTW, such computers tend to work up to 20% faster when
    running Windows NT type OSes. Better would be to upgrade to
    Windows NT 4.0. Then you are using something similar to
    current technology (learning something useful) as well as
    making hardware work a little faster.

    Mike wrote:
    > Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    > being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    > with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    > long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    > now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    > dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    > system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    > won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    > need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    > Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >
    > Dave
  6. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    Mike <BigDave@Home.com> wrote:

    >Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    >being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    >with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    >long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    >now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    >dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    >system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    >won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    >need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    >Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!

    I would talk to the supervisor who writes my performance
    evaluations/recommends raises/promotions/etc. Point out to
    him/her "Hey, I don't want to be down-rated with a lousy
    performance eval because of this @$*_+@*$# ancient machine you
    have assigned me making me look bad. It takes me X hours a day
    total of idle time at $YY.YY an hour waiting for Autocad to do z
    minute redraws that would take z1 seconds on a modern machine
    with decent RAM memory and a real graphics card. With what the
    company would gain in my productivity in the first month you
    could pay for three new computers.]

    [Making sure, of course, that the math adds up in there;
    otherwise, modify the "first month you could buy ..." number to
    match the Dell you have your eye on.]
    --
    OJ III
    [Email to Yahoo address may be burned before reading.
    Lower and crunch the sig and you'll net me at comcast.]
  7. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    Flash the BIOS and during the process power down.
    "Mike" <BigDave@Home.com> wrote in message
    news:s9j8u09k593egvd1ph9orso8af3m4cnch1@4ax.com...
    > Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    > being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    > with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    > long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    > now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    > dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    > system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    > won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    > need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    > Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >
    > Dave
    >
  8. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    And make sure your resume is handy, as when they figure out you're flashing
    the BIOS of your work machine, they'll fire you
    "John Mai" <holycow@shaw.ca> wrote in message
    news:flYEd.52530$6l.22938@pd7tw2no...
    > Flash the BIOS and during the process power down.
    > "Mike" <BigDave@Home.com> wrote in message
    > news:s9j8u09k593egvd1ph9orso8af3m4cnch1@4ax.com...
    >> Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    >> being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    >> with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    >> long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    >> now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    >> dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    >> system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    >> won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    >> need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    >> Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >>
    >> Dave
    >>
    >
    >
  9. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

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    w_tom wrote:
    > BTW, such computers tend to work up to 20% faster when
    > running Windows NT type OSes. Better would be to upgrade to
    > Windows NT 4.0. Then you are using something similar to
    > current technology (learning something useful) as well as
    > making hardware work a little faster.

    I would have to agree, look at a new OS that is more stable, if you can
    get away with it, run Linux as even on old machines it doesn't crash
    every 10 seconds. You'll be better off doing that than hurting hardware.
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  10. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    if a pencil fell off your desk and lodged itself into the power supply fan
    on the back of the system then the machine would overheat and either burn
    out the powersupply or possibly the processor... when the computer people
    come and replace the power supply with a generic one they will find that it
    doesn't power the system since the dell ps has proprietary wiring (but a
    standard connector)... then it would only be a matter of time before they
    drag some other hand me down piece of junk from another department and
    install it on your desk because they feel that someone else in the company
    would benefit more from the new computer than you...

    "Mike" <BigDave@Home.com> wrote in message
    news:s9j8u09k593egvd1ph9orso8af3m4cnch1@4ax.com...
    > Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    > being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    > with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    > long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    > now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    > dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    > system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    > won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    > need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    > Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >
    > Dave
    >
  11. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    Why dont you make a decent business plan as to why you should have an
    updated machine??
    "Mike" <BigDave@Home.com> wrote in message
    news:s9j8u09k593egvd1ph9orso8af3m4cnch1@4ax.com...
    > Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    > being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    > with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    > long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    > now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    > dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    > system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    > won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    > need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    > Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >
    > Dave
    >
    >
  12. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    Hi!

    That should actually be a pretty good system...I dunno what AutoCad's system
    requirements look like, but I'd try upgrading the RAM and perhaps
    reinstalling the OS from scratch. That would probably help a LOT.

    William
  13. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    Mike wrote:
    > Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    > being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    > with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    > long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    > now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    > dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    > system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    > won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    > need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    > Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >
    > Dave

    Talk to the person with checkbook. Lay out the options:

    1. Work at slower pace (fill in some specifics, like how often you crash,
    etc.)
    2. Install a memory upgrade, reformat and reinstall, etc. (about 3-6 hours.)
    3. Get a basic Dell for $500.

    I spend half my day on a PIII, with 512MB. Memory makes a difference, as
    does having an add'l drive for swap space. Set the VM to a hard number, and
    that helps. If I was running autocad all day, it wouldn't be on this
    machine, though.

    Ed
  14. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    NT 4.0 has become obsolete. The biggest problems, IMHO, are the limited boot
    partition size and the lack of USB support.

    Windows 2000 is much leaner and meaner than XPee, supports really large
    partitions, and handles USB respectably. ALL the Windows NT family of products
    manage memory 1000% better than the DOS-based ones, or Windows ME, the platypus
    of Windows operating systems... Ben Myers

    On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 19:28:26 -0500, w_tom <w_tom1@hotmail.com> wrote:

    > You are there only for their benefit. Clearly in a 'tit for
    >tat' relationship, your only purpose here is to maximize YOUR
    >resume and maximize your education. If it was a productive
    >company (one concerned with their product and their
    >customers), then you would not be posting this story. It is a
    >company driven by the bean counter mentality. Employees are
    >are expense - not an asset.
    >
    > In such environments, do not harm your resume. When bean
    >counters pretend to be managers, then employees work only for
    >themselves. Maximize your value so that you can find a real
    >employer. IOW you are, from one perspective, in a somewhat
    >enviable position. Take time to find a real job. In the
    >meantime concentrate on advancing yourself as much as possible
    >at their expense. But do not do physical damage. Do no
    >harm. Advance yourself before helping them. Be as selfish as
    >they are. But do no harm.
    >
    > BTW, such computers tend to work up to 20% faster when
    >running Windows NT type OSes. Better would be to upgrade to
    >Windows NT 4.0. Then you are using something similar to
    >current technology (learning something useful) as well as
    >making hardware work a little faster.
    >
    >Mike wrote:
    >> Believe it or not, where I am employed (Cheap Bastards, Inc.) I am
    >> being forced to use a Dell that is seven years old. It's a Pentium II
    >> with 128 Megs of RAM and Win98SE. It should have gone to pasture a
    >> long time ago but my needs have not been that great in the past but
    >> now I am having to use AutoCAD quite a bit and it's running like a
    >> dog. Our IT Dept is really lame and the only way I can get a new
    >> system is if this one dies. Like all my personal Dell's this one just
    >> won't give up it just keeps going and going and going ... So what I
    >> need to know is what can I do to make it appear to be a dead system ?
    >> Move some jumpers around on the motherboard ? Any ideas ? Thanks!
    >>
    >> Dave
  15. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    Windows 2000 demands too much semiconductor memory. Memory
    being one of the factors that makes a system slow. Yes, USB
    was not in Windows NT because the USB standard (in the days of
    NT 4.0) still had significant design problems. But we are not
    taking about partition sizes or USB support. He has a machine
    that is slow. He must increase hardware speed. Installing an
    NT Operating System that consumes much more memory (ie Windows
    2000) is not going to make a faster machine.

    Furthermore installing NT is going to address HIS needs
    more. It provides the experience and knowledge he is more
    interested in - cheap bastard company be damned.

    Windows 2000 grinds to a snails pace when memory is 128 Mb.
    Windows 2000 does nothing for his system.

    The best upgrade for an older machine running Windows 98 was
    Windows NT 4.0 - that was older than Windows 98, stable, and
    permitted hardware to run faster.

    Just because Windows 2000 has better features does not mean
    it is better for Mike. Before recommending, first keep the
    problem in perspective. Look at his hardware. Windows 2000
    will not improve his situation. Furthermore, machine would
    have been purchased with Windows NT if the purchaser
    understood computers. Too many people blindly bought Windows
    98 only because it was promoted - not based upon technical
    facts.

    Ben Myers wrote:
    > NT 4.0 has become obsolete. The biggest problems, IMHO, are the
    > limited boot partition size and the lack of USB support.
    >
    > Windows 2000 is much leaner and meaner than XPee, supports really
    > large partitions, and handles USB respectably. ALL the Windows NT
    > family of products manage memory 1000% better than the DOS-based
    > ones, or Windows ME, the platypus of Windows operating systems...
    > Ben Myers
  16. Archived from groups: alt.sys.pc-clone.dell (More info?)

    On balance, I agree with your assessment that NT 4.0 is a better replacement for
    a 128MB system. NT 4.0 even runs respectably in 64MB. I have maybe 10 unused
    shrink-wrapped Windows NT 4.0 sets here, if anybody wants to buy. Complete with
    manual, COA, CD, and boot diskettes. Make an offer to make it worth my time to
    send them out. The more you buy, the happier I'll be... Ben Myers

    On Thu, 13 Jan 2005 14:42:58 -0500, w_tom <w_tom1@hotmail.com> wrote:

    > Windows 2000 demands too much semiconductor memory. Memory
    >being one of the factors that makes a system slow. Yes, USB
    >was not in Windows NT because the USB standard (in the days of
    >NT 4.0) still had significant design problems. But we are not
    >taking about partition sizes or USB support. He has a machine
    >that is slow. He must increase hardware speed. Installing an
    >NT Operating System that consumes much more memory (ie Windows
    >2000) is not going to make a faster machine.
    >
    > Furthermore installing NT is going to address HIS needs
    >more. It provides the experience and knowledge he is more
    >interested in - cheap bastard company be damned.
    >
    > Windows 2000 grinds to a snails pace when memory is 128 Mb.
    >Windows 2000 does nothing for his system.
    >
    > The best upgrade for an older machine running Windows 98 was
    >Windows NT 4.0 - that was older than Windows 98, stable, and
    >permitted hardware to run faster.
    >
    > Just because Windows 2000 has better features does not mean
    >it is better for Mike. Before recommending, first keep the
    >problem in perspective. Look at his hardware. Windows 2000
    >will not improve his situation. Furthermore, machine would
    >have been purchased with Windows NT if the purchaser
    >understood computers. Too many people blindly bought Windows
    >98 only because it was promoted - not based upon technical
    >facts.
    >
    >Ben Myers wrote:
    >> NT 4.0 has become obsolete. The biggest problems, IMHO, are the
    >> limited boot partition size and the lack of USB support.
    >>
    >> Windows 2000 is much leaner and meaner than XPee, supports really
    >> large partitions, and handles USB respectably. ALL the Windows NT
    >> family of products manage memory 1000% better than the DOS-based
    >> ones, or Windows ME, the platypus of Windows operating systems...
    >> Ben Myers
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