Online problems with AOE III - help plz

I have been playing AOE III online for about 2 weeks now and I seem to have selective connectivity with diff players - ie 50% of the time I play 1 vs 1 no probs - but other 50% I get 'host cancelled game' I know it is player specific cause I have a friend who also plays online with the same problem and we cannot join each others games. There has been some tech help offered to do with routers, ie

turned DMZ mode OFF (would not work correctly with DMZ on)
instead opened UDP 2300-2400 and TC 28800-28805
turn OFF UPnP (sad but true, this needs a patch UPnP was on for a reason)
made the DHCP server give my computer a LAN IP that is not common. for instance 192.168.0.196 instead of 192.168.0.100
Update Firmware. (hat tip boynix)"

I have made what modifications I can - I have a Netgear Cable/DSL Websafe Router RP614v3 - does anyone know what I can do or is it likely to be problems with the AOE III online game server - which has had some issues.

any help appreciated

Cheers

Yep - no need to even post, just find the "Search" button, or enter their technical support forums. Usually if its a problem I experience out of the box, the tech support forums will be plastered with posts about it.