More Stupeid Jokes from zpyrd

This joke is for pike!!!


A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest
little lisp:

"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabiths?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her
level, and asks:

"Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack
wabby?"

She in turn puts her hands on her knees, bends forward and says,

"I don't fink my pyfon gives a fvck!


<font color=red><i>Doctor Hooter</i></font color=red> <A HREF="http://www.page3.com/" target="_new"><b>(·Y·)</b></A>

I really have a problem with the 'e' key on my keyboard.
I can't stop pressing it when I don't need it.
e e e damn e key.

Another stupeid joke!!!

A blind man walked into a diner and made a strange request to his waiter. He asked if he could have the unwashed fork of the last customer the waiter waited on. The perplexed waiter agreed and handed the blind man the unwashed fork. The blind man proceeded to put it in his mouth and said, "Hmmm, the meatloaf and mashed potatoes are good here. I'll have that."
The next day, the blind man returned to the diner and did the same thing. Now, on the third day, the waiter saw the blind man coming into the diner. He still didn't believe what the blind man was capable of, and he wanted to trick him. So he quickly grabbed a fork and asked his waitress wife, Jane, to pull down her panties and rub it between her legs.

When the blind man asked for the fork, the waiter gave him the fork with a big smile on his face.

The blind man put it in his mouth, and said, "Hmmm, I didn't know Jane worked here."



<font color=red><i>Doctor Hooter</i></font color=red> <A HREF="http://www.page3.com/" target="_new"><b>(·Y·)</b></A>

LOL

Those are great.

<font color=red><i>Doctor Hooter</i></font color=red> <A HREF="http://www.page3.com/" target="_new"><b>(·Y·)</b></A>

there was a one armed fisherman who caught a fish this big !!!

Although it has a lot of good ideas, beer doesn't know anything about computers!!!

My wife and I are divorced!

pike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

A pike and a musky: a love story.
Mrs musky while lying in the sun in some weeds, was approched slowly by Mr pike from behind.
BANG love at first fish eye contact.

pike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

You know me scammy, anything to please a lady, fish lady that is!

pike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

I don`t know, you tell me!

pike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

Sorry to contradict you, oh grand PooBaa, but it was a good thing!

pike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

Does your hamster know any jokes?

<b>THGC:</b> before: , after: .

This joke is for Michael Westen who was offended by dhlucke sig 'God Bless America'.


The Golden Phone
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.
For his first chapter he decided to write about American churches. So he
bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would
work his way across the country from South to North. On his first day he was
inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone
mounted on the wall with a sign that read $10,000 per call". The American,
being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was
used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that
for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went
along his way. Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral,
he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if
this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby
nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven
and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the
American. He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia,
Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with
the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it. The American, upon leaving
Vermont saw a sign for Canada and decided to see if Canadians had the same
phone. He arrived in Montreal, and again, there was the same golden
telephone, but this time the sign under it read "25 cents per call." The
American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've
traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many
churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in every state
the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?" The priest smiled
and answered, "You're in Canada now son, it's a local call".


<font color=red><i>Doctor Hooter</i></font color=red> <A HREF="http://www.page3.com/" target="_new"><b>(·Y·)</b></A>

They were all funny until that last one

Whatcha gonna do when the trolls run wild on you?!?!?!

Was that "hammy" your invisible hamster I just heard?


pike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

Guiney pigs are the one's that make teh sh!t pellets.
They also eat them, bless their little piggy hearts.

pike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

I might have known you would have a joke like that up your sleeve.



Speaking of which.....<A HREF="http://www.ade-thecat.freeserve.co.uk/i-k/kathyl.htm" target="_new"><b><font color=red>Hooters</font color=red></b></A>

hehe. She's a cutie.

<b><font color=blue>~ What do you mean "It isn't working!"...Now where's my sonic screwdriver? ~ </font color=blue></b>

Three thumbs up!
Opps! It`s that damn thinggy in my crotch again...


pike


<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

[tired]

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

lol
That's pretty funny.

<font color=blue>If you don't buy Windows, then the terrorists have already won!</font color=blue> - Microsoft

Hmmmm
Maybe because in your post above the joke I posted said you were tired.
Hmmmm
Thought you might like a funny joke to make you smile and perk up.


<font color=red><i>Doctor Hooter</i></font color=red> <A HREF="http://www.page3.com/" target="_new"><b>(·Y·)</b></A>

Opps!


You do know what I'm thinking about when I say that, don't you...
<A HREF="http://www.handbag.com/popup/beauty_bosoms/category=beauty_bosoms/tipid=4/template=blank/" target="_new">Opps</A>


pike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

me full of em <A HREF="http://www.handbag.com/popup/beauty_bosoms/category=beauty_bosoms/tipid=2/template=blank/" target="_new">my donna</A>

pokeapike

<i>"I always though the real world is what we make of it"</i> Jodie Foster in CONTACT. Carl Sagan.

a really good old one:

VASELINE ON THE CHROME

A guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He
always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping around, answering ads in the
newspaper, not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a "for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to
find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner:
"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape."

"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just
make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub
Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're
buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can
have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
So the guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy
biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (also
being a Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to
his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going to meet them
and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the
house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.
"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something
about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact,
the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the
middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family
room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In
fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure
enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word.
So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her
parents, but still they keep quiet. So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her
naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.
"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his
girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner
table. Again, total silence.
Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the
boyfriend realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care
of the motorcycle, sohe pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and
shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."

mmmm classsy. just what one should expect from toms forum members

Despite appearances im not Phsysic. I may need your system specifications to solve your problem!

im sorry but my religion specifically prohibits me from telling jokes while surfing the net for un-work related topics.

besides. cant think of any.

Despite appearances im not Phsysic. I may need your system specifications to solve your problem!

dang.

well here is another joke:

Brittney spears stars in 'Crossroads' as a virgin teenager who aspires to be a singer.

Despite appearances im not Phsysic. I may need your system specifications to solve your problem!