OMG...this is sooo frustrating. After clearing the BIOS by pulling the battery for a minute and shifting the jumper back and forth, I disabled my BIOS's attempt to find and use a floppy and then went in and told it to reset the PCI config. Those two adjustments cleared the dual beep noise. The computer booted all the way up to Windows 8 and my desktop and everything looked fine and normal. I breathed a huge sigh of relief after four days of downtime and shut my system down so that I could physically get it off of its side and return it to my desk and plug everything back in so that I could back to work....
...Now the power button doesn't work. I can see my green light Bios light is lit but when I press the power button on the front of the case, nothing happens.
Why? WTF computer Gods??! What have I done to anger you so and make you hate me this way? Why will you let me FINALLY solve an issue and then seduce me into thinking everything is cool and then two minutes later, I can't even turn my computer on?