The Computer is destroying my life and I can't do anything about it ...

[HOLAX222]

I am 22 years old guy and since I was small I spend a lot of time on computer, mainly gaming a bit, latter I needed to use it a bit for a classes when the computers became more widely available and here I am now where I can spend a lot of time, usually days after days from 8 o'clock in the morning to like 2 - 3 o'clock in the night then again I wake up and do the same thing over and over again and time passes through my life like never happened. I'm from an IT background but still unemployed and looking for work which makes it even worse because as IT person I will need to use computer usually everyday when I find a job. However I know I can't apply any computer software and so on to limit my time because who I am and I know it wouldn't work. It's become so habitual and ingrained in my mind that I literally cannot stop using computer, and when I try to not go on it, the temptation becomes so strong and I usually end up spending this time on the computer which I shouldn't really. I have hobbies and dreams which like any normal human wants to achieve or the things to do but since I turn on the computer and touch the mouse and keyboard the computer becomes my whole world and primary object in my mind so to say golden candle and other things doesn't matter to the point or last moment where I really need to do them like clean the house etc. I have even made a schedule what to do everyday and for how long before like 2 months ago (One of my activities is to go play basketball but since I go and play it feels forced as in this time when I'm away from computer for a half of the day or so my brain is craving for use of a computer) it worked well because my will power was strong but the addiction came back again and it feels like I'm forcing myself (like having chains on me) to stop using a computer and sometimes I really think I miss a lot in life because I'm still single, young and want to do so many things but I can't because I'm a introverted person which can stay in home for months and usually try to avoid any social events/socialising like we all introverts do. I even suspect that I might got a little bit of social anxiety from this as well. Also I want to stop using a computer so much because I used to have astigmatism and doctor said that it should stop now as I have grow but my vision is quiet bad and I wear glasses but well, they ain't help if I will spent so much time on a computer. I think at this point I should say bay bay to my IT career. The main reason why I use computer for that long hours is because technology became so advanced and there's always something to do on it and while using the computer somewhere at the back of my mind I have that thing where I think that I can watch every possible videos which fascinates me and are interesting on YouTube etc, read every interesting article on the planet, listen to every song and so on which really is illogical, unachievable and sounds stupid anyway, if I would do that 1 life is even not sufficient for it. I do everything on the computer and simply never turn it off. Everything revolves around the computer for me and it steals my whole time. I have tried quitting from it many times and it never worked really, besides this 2 months ago where now it came back again.

I will go as far to say that this is destroying my life at this point where I'm slowly getting up on my own two feet but I'm unable to do so since I'm addicted to high use of a computer. I just want to be able to overcome the addiction completely, and then be able to start using the computer/internet moderately and with control. This is one of the hardest obstacles that I have ever tried to overcome in my life, it is literally like battling drug addiction for me. I am here because I have no where else to go. I have tried everything, I need to get rid of this addiction right now!

P.S I have tried to find so called expert to help me with my computer addiction near where I live but there are none .. (I type in Google -> Computer Addiction Help in <my city name> and I couldn't find anything...) I'm just left alone by myself...

If there is someone who had similar problem and overcome this please appear in my submission also any help and advice is more than welcomed and appreciated.

tl;dr: i am addicted to the high use of a computer, have tried a lot to quit it and it's ruining my life.

Thank you.

 

[Someone Somewhere]

My advice would be to set a time of day when you decide you simply won't use the computer. Set it in advance and stick to it.

If you find you can't stick to it, look at some way of making the PC lock at that time and re-lock if you try to unlock it - I don't use Windows, but on linux it's doable with Cron jobs and ties into the screenlocking tool pretty easily. You should be able to do something similar on Windows; consider it a project.

If you do it this way, you should be able to prevent yourself from being able to unlock it during the time when it locks out, and avoid removing it during the day.

 

[mudcatt67]

Being able to set limits is one of the keys to a sane existence.

 

[sethwilliam]

Sure it's great and all if you can just "stop" playing the computer like a lot of people are saying, however we both know it's not that easy. To add on to what has been mentioned, yes try to place a limit on how much you use the computer and play games that is important. It is not the ONLY thing that is important.

Let's go through this shall we?

Day 1: You set some limits you won't play any games or anything today on your computer, you feel good, you feel motivated for success, you can do this!
Couple hours later: You are extremely bored, you don't know what to do, you keep thinking of the computer.

and you probably won't make it past the first day, I know I couldn't. Do you know why you can't make it past the first day, or the second, or even the third day? It's because you set the limits, yes, you took action and stopped, but what did you do with your new-found spare time???? Nothing! I learned first-hand that if you don't fill that spare time with something and just sit around the house all day you will not be able to overcome that urge to play no matter how hard you or anybody else can try (ok maybe some people can but not most).

I know this is especially hard for you because you aren't employed and I assume don't attend college anymore so you have loads of free time. For me personally I am still enrolled in college and as such I only had to fill that void on my days off so I had it easy.

Anyways for you, just stop completely, there is no "limits" that I believe in it's all or nothing as far as I'm concerned. If you can manage to let your self play for maybe an hour a day good for you, I for one can't do it and just had to give it up entirely.

So
1. Set some limits/Decide to be done for good.

2. Uninstall all Games, gaming programs, and don't watch anything related to games IE: Streams, reviews, nothing! It will only reignite your craving, also if you see someone playing a game, maybe a sibling or something walk out of the room immediately and do not go back until it is off. The point is to stay away from anything that might reignite your cravings.

3. Find a hobby, use your spare time, try to stay out of the house.
The goal here is to fill your spare time with something, anything to keep you busy. Sign up for some classes at a community college, it's free and you learn something. Get a part time job at a grocery store or some place until you can find an IT position. Fill your time up. Try exercising and reading, that certainly helped me.

4. Stop using your phone, tablet, PC so much.
It's not just our computers, our phones are almost apart of us because of how much we use them. I'm not saying get rid of these, but don't use them 24/7. I have a Galaxy S6 and I only use it for phone calls, texts, and web surfing. A good tip for this is also to stop checking your phone every 5 minutes, I only check mine once maybe every 2-3 hours if even that. Keep it on vibrate or volume on so you know when people call, that way you don't have to keep checking it. This certainly helps with tech addiction in general and will make it easier for you to stop gaming. Remember you don't need to get rid of it, just use it less.

I am officially an Ambivert which is awesome but also sucks at the same time as I have a lot of the introverted personality traits. This middle-ground personality combined with 12 years of hardcore gaming shifted me more to the introverted side though not completely so I do understand what your going through. One of the best things I have found that really helps and you don't have to deal with a lot of people (I despise large crowds of strangers) is to just go for a 1 hour walk every day at the same time. The fresh air and being outside of your house really does wonders for clearing your head.

What can you take away from this?
1. Stay away from games, reviews, people playing etc.
2. Fill up your spare time to keep you productive and your mind off games.
3. Stop using your other tech so much, only use it when necessary.


Anyways I hope I helped, I know it's tough, but you can do it. It will be hard and you will suffer, but when it's over you will love your self for the new life full of opportunity you have opened for yourself.

PS: Training to be a Real Estate Agent/Broker is a great way to pass the time and isn't hard to get into. Just an idea.

 

[Andrei-Florin Gogan]

Put your computer away for a few days, do some kind of sporting activity, learn to cook....there are many ideas that you would not believe how effective they are in getting you to forget things.

 

[turkey3_scratch]

Take sort of a work-out mindset approach. The first time you may only do 30 reps, but each workout you do a little more and more.

I find that it's better to take periodic short breaks than to take a long break. So if you're on the computer for an hour, split it up. 50 minutes on the computer, 10 off the computer, particularly somewhere like outside. Then eventually change it to 15 minutes outside and 45 on the computer, eventually to the point where your addiction breaks.

I understand. Computers have a sort of "fun" to them. Perhaps you're addicted to computer because all your other options are boring (i.e. sitting around the house). Go to a bar, have a few drinks. Or simply land a factory job for a while.

 

[kwa-e]

This video may give you an idea you some insights into your addiction.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8L-0nSYzg

 

[naturesninja]

Buy a motorcycle. Get a girlfriend. Neither will let you play games for long.

 

[kwa-e]

Buy a motorcycle. Get a girlfriend. Neither will let you play games for long.

Or take your computer addiction into something productive, learn how to code, make games etc.

Codeacademy is a good place to start.

 

[naturesninja]

Yeah, programming, that's the ticket. Minutes into hours, hours into days, days into multi year long obsessions. Not sure that's the best path for escaping the computer. But it is more productive than gaming, I suppose. Haha.