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OK then. You make Liberace look masculine. And he's had more women than you.

I agree with the above statement and publicly affirm the sadness and desperation of my current state. Thank you for listening.

You're quite welcome. Oh, Barrymore called for you earlier, someothing about you being guest of honour at his pool party?

I'm looking forward therefore to a long and successful career as a cadaver.

Not half as much as he's looking forward to help get you there in the first place.

Rob, why is there a limp-wristed lanky tosser interfering with my bottom?

Eat your disco bicscuits and go for a swim, you'll soon forget about the catastrophic anal damage.

Rob, why am I losing consciousness?

Hush now, there's another 5 blokes waiting to bum you sensless. Here, have some more coke.

How kind.

Rob, why has my heart stopped beating?

Because you saw your CC bill?

You're really on a roll today, aren't you???

Nice one.

George Michael returns! Again.

*Bends over*

We already established that you are his bastard love child and not the real deal.
Good to see you back caboose - what kept you? An especially intense session of male grooming or the attentions of LAPD?

Actually... I got married to my fiance.