The perfect gift for the woman in your life - Page 2

** Rapidly attaches new mega-protecto-ubber-brolly tail attachment and assumes a crouch position **

** Looks up to see a brilliant bright flash in the sky through the conveniently positioned blast proof viewing screen **

** Small sizzling yellow blobs rain from the sky **

** Across the council estates of Britain spotty chubby slappers run into the street letting forth the cry - "Feerkin 'ell!!! It's raining KFC popcorn chicken!!" **

Hmmm, so that's the secret recipe!

Or not...

When the Red Star passes.

*smacks Ninjahedge across the back of the head*

I could go for a pound of crispy snotcorn chicken. I haven't had a good colon cleanse in months.

...*starts consulting fee meter*...

You called?

...*lines veiny shaft with Brillo pads*...

...*prepares glistening shaft as requested*...

Wingding needs a Fluffer....Someone get the remains of Mrs. Phillips.

Sorry, the Odour Attachment is broken.

Just get your girlfriend, that will give you a sense of how horrid the stench is.

/Marks calendar for 2024.

And kneeling down and taking a lungful from their crotch is probably equally offensive.

I thought that would have been your dream date prior to the arrival of your income disposal unit?

Decomp...oohhh...now your talking dirty...sweatheart.