Game Addiction: Myth or Reality? - Page 2

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I made the mistake of buying my kids a game console when they were very young. (OK I bought it for myself, but told them it was their x-mas present ) For 3 years we bought a new console every year. I was there to monitor their playing time and it wasn't that big a deal at the time. While my 2 girls never showed much interest in the consoles, my son (6 or 7 at the time) would play non-stop 24/7 if we let him.

Now I'm divorced and the kids live with their mother on the other side of the world. She works 2 full time jobs and isn't home much. My son (now 14) has his own computer (provided to him by me so that we can communicate often) has been addicted to CS for the past 2 years. He thought his world was ending when the head of his team decided to quit and stopped supporting the web site etc.. He wanted a new video card for Christmas this year, which I got him. To make matters worse, he got an Xbox for Christmas this year from his mother. After his first report card of this year, he was grounded from the computer and all games for a month.

Now if I could do it all over again, I would never have bought the game consoles. So sure, parents are to blame to some degree, although the bulk of these addicts seem to be young adults, and not have much parental input in their lives anymore.

I find it hard to blame game manufacturers as well, since I happen to like a good game. I now know that I can't play Civ IV unless I have an entire day to waste on it.

But my son doesn't have the benefit of my experience, will power, nor a parent around to monitor his game usage anymore. This is reality in most kids' lives anymore with divorces and both parents working full time.

So I wonder if the answer lies somewhere else. Rather than blame, I suspect the answer is more about understanding the issue and how to correct it. Hopefully these tragedys will provide the motivation for more research into the issue and a better understanding of warning signs and ultimately corrective action.

ssidbroadcast, I agree with you about ADD. You should read a book called "The Myth of the ADD Child" by Thomas Armstrong. A very interesting take on the subject.

Marshal_Mixen and webada: I wondered how long it would be before this thoughtful discussion degenerated to people calling Liz and me bad parents. It always does. I don't know where Sean's dad was when he was getting addicted, but my son's dad is right here in our home, where he has been for 30 years, and involved in his son's life for the last 20. You do not need a broken home to raise a gaming addict. webada, you HAVE NO CHILDREN, so do not criticize other parents. Having been a child once yourself does not qualify you to speak authoritatively on the subject of parenting. You have no clue how difficult it is to parent a child in today's world. Be that as it may, I would like to state that my husband and i, terrible parents that we are, have raised three children to the ages of 18, 20, and 23. They have all done well in school (until GamerSon became the first person EVER in the history of both our families to flunk out of college), none of them has ever had problems with drugs or alcohol, none of them smokes, none has ever been arrested, and they are all three virgins. They have all held down regular jobs since the ages of 15 or 16 (including GamerSon), and my daughter will be spending her first year out of high school in a travelling youth ministry program for our church. Yeah, we're terrible parents who s*ck at our job.
Regarding what else happened to GamerSon at college, I have independant corroboration from several sources that all he did was play WoW, period. He did not drink, did not party, did not do drugs.
devicenull, I agree with you that no one should have to tell an 18-year-old to go to class at college, and I did not expect anyone to. What i would hope is that professors would not laugh in my face and tell me it's none of my business when I express a concern that there is something seriously wrong with my son and that he might need help to deal with it. I would hope that an RA might notice that my kid never left his room and perhaps ask him if he had any problems he might need help with. I know they were all clueless about this problem too, so I don't blame them either, but people on college campuses need to be more aware that this exists. If you saw a friend of yours staggering toward his car, stone drunk, would you say "He's 18, he should know enough not to drive drunk", or would you grab his car keys out of his hand (and suggest he get some help if you noticed that this had been happening EVERY DAY)?
The withdrawal symptoms my kid had were REAL, and they were a withdrawal from WoW. Back in 1998, a study was published in Nature (Vol 393,pp266-268). They did (11)C-labelled raclopride PET scans of gamers' brains while they played a video game (and not even an MMORPG, mind you), and measured levels of dopamine release. What they found was that playing video games caused levels of dopamine release in the brain in the same range as the levels released during an intravenous infusion of amphetamines. Imagine what your brain and the rest of you would be like after daily 20-hour intravenous infusions of amphetamines.
I am not planning to sue Blizzard. I think maybe Blizzard and other gaming companies might not have known how addictive these games could be when they started designing them, but they do now. They need to acknowledge that there are people (LOTS of them, and of all ages and both genders) who have a problem with their product, just as the alcohol and tobacco and gambling industries have. I don't know what the solution is, but perhaps there could be a timer in the game that flashes a message after a total accumulation of hours over a set period of time that indicates the gamer might have a problem. A message might flash on the screen that says "Is excessive time in this game a problem for you? Call 1-800-***-****" Perhaps a warning notice on each game box. Financial contributions to OLGA. I'm sure people more creative than myself could come up with others.
I congratulate all you gamers who can play casually and not get addicted. You are very lucky. Probably 90% of gamers can. My son can't. One small caution: The OLGA-non boards are full of posts from family members concerned about a gamer who is destroying his or her life and the lives of those around them, but don't think they have a problem at all. Could you be one of them? Just something to think about. This article and the responses have already sent some new folks our way. Thank you again Rob and Liz.

Its funny that some people can just log out while it takes a update to the software to get some WoW players offline. Maybe developers can institute a auto log out feature for users that have been on longer than 8 hours straight and will not log back in till a reasonable amount of time can pass.

I have a friend that seem... well no, is addicted to Warcraft. The amount of time he spends online is scary.

Kudos Rob, you guys are doing the stories that matter now. Thanks from the entire Forumz.
Juan

If the symptoms included - prefer to spend time alone (with my game) rather not spend time with family (cuz I'm playing my game) I'm afraid to go outside (because I might miss this NM spawnz0rz!!!111) I am scared to answer the phone (because whoever I would wind up talking to would hear my RAID party in the background) etc.. etc..

Then yeah I'd say he probably had 'symptoms' of depression.

kekekekekekeke!!!

I don't mean to be rude or disrespectful, but this just strikes me as a parent who either isn't in touch with the real world, or one that has raised some very unusual children. That in itself has me questioning how involved with the childrens' lives these parents really are. If this mother is correct that her children are as she states, I can't help but think there is something very wrong here.

Sorry I haven't had time to go through the 50+ responses to this topic (read a little bit) but I thought that the interview deserves a response. With that said here is what I have to say.

First off I would like to say I play a very little bit of WoW but I do spend a good amount of time on Eve online. Although Eve seems to have built in a system to possible help with gaming addiction being that you level even if you aren't playing, you just need to be paying . but that is here nor there, but I do have a understand the idea of gaming addiction. With this small understanding I think that allot of people who see gaming addiction have the wrong idea. The way I see it gaming addiction comes form the inability to have a good connection with society. If a person is an out cast or has been mistreated by society these people seem to latch onto games as an escaped device to a place where they are not considered out cast and in fact now have a great connection with other out cast of real society. This is where I see the connection of ADD to gaming addiction. I my self have ADD and that in and of it self can make a person an outcast in school early in life. Kids that take medication for mental problems and that are put into special classes because of this mental problem are seen by other children as outcast and not worthy of friendship.

This is a generalization but it is back by the experiences that I have my self been apart of. Children are can be very evil towards things they don't understand and just like adults they try and push things they don't understand way from them, sometimes with out even knowing that they are doing it, but from what I have seen many do know what they are doing and some still even enjoy what they are doing.

When a person is pushed out of society at a very young age this can greatly affect there lives after school. Not understanding how to make connections with people early in life will surly affect them later in life. And if you cant connect with people in real life, but you have just started to play this game that you are making connections with real life people in a virtual world can be very appealing to social outcasts.

The big difference between online games and off line games is that in online games you are actually interacting with real people and you gain a strong connection with these people.

When you see people at work being asked to go out for a drink after work and people forming relationships with coworkers while you fail time and time again will create a negative connection with real life were as if you jump onto your online game and with in 10 mins your having real life people asking you to go rat with them or go questing with them it can create a feeling of worth that one doesn't get in real life.

So my point here is that perhaps we should be looking more at society and the way we treat each other instead of looking at the gamer (who is being pushed away from real life society feeling that they are force to only interact with people in a virtual world that excepts them) and not so much the gaming company (who is just looking to make millions of cash, of course they want to create a game that will make a person pay monthly fees to make them and there stockholders rich, and who don't want to pay any thing for something like rehab that will not only cost money to make but help people stop playing a game that is making this corp millions of dollars. We are talking about Corporations here people, they are almost always cruel evil and money grubbing when you get to the top ranks)

I also think this is a very different addiction (and I use that term very loosely here for lack of a better word) then Alcohol addiction and gambling addiction. Alcohol addiction is very physical and mental at the same time. I see no way to compare it to gaming addiction because they have so little in common besides the affect of the addiction it self. I have dealt with a family of Alcoholics all my life and I have seen a few of my friends falling under this "Addiction" to gaming. And well there are small similarities they are completely different form each other. It is hard to prove this how ever because the effects can be the same how ever I believe the reason for the addiction are very different and there for treatment must be very different. As for gambling I understand this addiction very little. But from why I know it more about the thrill of the game that keeps them coming back and the amount of money need to gamble is far greater for those who are addicted. Where "Addiction" to online gaming I think has more to do with fitting in, with being wanted, even need by others.

So in conclusion I wish to say that I have been a social out cast in my younger years as a youth and school and had it not been for my natural social skills and the strong friendships that I have formed with people form both school and now work, I would easily have fallen into the group of "Addicted" gamer. But not everyone have natural social skills and with out learning these social skills from school interaction it can be very hard to see the difference between virtual interactions and real life interactions. To these people they are being social and they are doing things of importance and when you approach them telling them that they are doing something that is worthless and that they should try and focus on there real lives instead of a stupid game, you end up pushing them even farther away, enforcing the idea that society doesn't understand or care for the things that this addict feel are very important in there own "virtual" world.

I know I haven't come up with anything that out right helps people with gaming "addiction" but I hope I have brought something to the table to help people that don't understand gaming addiction. I believe this is a very real and dangerous thing just as dangerous as drug addiction (yes I see Alcohol, along with many others, as a drug) but I believe this is a very different "Addiction" and needs to be seen as such.

Thanks again Liz.

Darklife41, this is disrespectful, and sad too. If my children have become an anomaly in today's world, we are in bigger trouble than I thought.

And thank you, infornography42. You are correct. My children are exactly as described.

Well, as far as being addicted to games go, I can't for one instance comprehend what such a person goes through. I'm a firm believer of a person's susceptability to certain elements of life, good or bad, and that it is directly inlfuenced by his personality. Something that comes from childhood.

However, I must confess that until recently I had a sort of addiction in having the latest and greatest hardware for my PC, and accompanying it is the games that would reward such expensive hardware. My life really revolved around upgrading, buying games and checking the performance. As such, I never was addicted to games, but in having a great machine that could run anything I threw at it. This was also done not to compete, but was a hobby that took over my private life.

The result of this was a bitter break up with my girlfriend, and after that I was stuck with a good pc, little to no friends and nothing else. And I just realized that I got too involved in the PC market, which cost me alot (money wise and friendship/social wise). I ended up selling everything and to date have been slowly rebuilding my life. I do not resent computers, but I realized that it was a distraction I had to address. I got a xbox, and I still play games. But as far as owning a PC goes, I'll probably get a PC again sometime in the future, but not with the intent I had previously.

So from my opening paragraph, I would classify myself as being susceptable to distractions in the tech world, and the one thing I learned was that it can be controlled, once you can realize that it must be done in moderation. For me, I was past the point where I could moderate, and that led me to sell everything. But the after effect was the realization that it could have been controlled from the onset.

I do not believe that most parents have any idea about what these games can do to their child.

If a child IS an adult and in college, is it the PARENTS responsiblity to monitor him/her, to make sure he/she is doing what they are there for? I think not. Also, when my children were in college, I was not allowed to see their report cards, even though I was paying for the schooling. And, guess what???? They would not show them to me....

Liz

Wow... that is not good. I'm not a parent myself, but I know darn well what my parents would have done if I refused to show them my grades or give them feedback on my education. They would have come up to the college, dragged me out of my room, Taken me and my stuff home, enrolled me in a local community college and force me to go every day. Thankfully I never gave them a reason to do that but I think I know them well enough to be sure of their response.

As I said before, if you can find a way to keep on line gaming also a locally social event, then it will not likely degenerate like this. I'm not sure how a parent could go about encouraging this sort of thing though. It could provide a great way to help someone who is getting addicted. A way to transition their life back to the real world.

I think what Liz meant was that the college would not show her the kids' grades, not that the kid wouldn't show them. My son did show us his gades and knew that we would want to look at them as soon as they were published, but getting to talk to the profs before the final grading time to express concerns and see if the concerns were justified was impossible.

Understood.

Having gone to catholic school for 8 years myself, a kid can change considerably after entering a less structured environment. I'm not critisicing your decision or implying that it was a bad choice. Its just not the choice I made for my kids based on my own experience.

If there wasn't a war going on, I'd recommend enlisting kids in the military straight out of high school. The military teaches more about how to maintain self control and discipline than anything else I've experienced. I've carried those lessons with me for my entire life. They also provide a lot of financial help towards college afterward.

Not that I've given up on him, but my son is probably already a goner as far as game addiction goes. Unless something drastic happens in his life to change his situation, I just don't see him giving it up or being forced to by his mother. Irony is that he wants to be a game programmer when he grows up, and his grades will never be good enough to make that happen.

I do sympathize with the families of gamers. But I don't think sueing game manufacturers or expecting them to help with addictions to their products are valid fixes or realistic expectations. At best, maybe put a disclaimer on the games that they can be addictive. Also, Civ IV has a timer that you can set, which has never stopped me from playing through.

There is no treatment for any addiction that's fool proof. If the addict doesn't want to stop, they won't. It has to come from inside. All we as parents and family members can do is make the addict aware of how much we care for them and how the addiction is effecting our lives as well as theirs and hope for the best. I'm reminded of the recovery process in New Start, which starts with acceptance. I think that's the key. Addicts need to accept that they have a problem and understand the full scope of it. Only then will they have a chance of fighting off the urge and recovering. But that's just one parent's opinion.

I would like to say that with almost all you have said I agree. ADD is an easy way for Doctors to not explain the real problem. Also I would like to say that I also think that broken families have contributed to the inability for parents to control there children but I would like to point out one thing that greatly concerns me very very much.

I think that Fear is not the answer here but the problem it self. The lack of love and understanding is the answer not fear. Fear is used to control and to manipulate not to help some one no matter how much you think it will. Respect, love and understanding help to create a upstanding person.

Fear normally comes for the inability to understand and with out understanding one can never truly grow.

Thank you for your time

Josh
Guldan

PS: I mean no disrespect here. Many religions and people agree that fear is the best tool to control people but from what I have experienced in my life if one fills his/her heart with fear it leaves little room for love to grow. I didn't fear my mother I respected her and with that respect I learned to expand my respect for others and feel the love that now fills my heart

I didn't mean to imply that I had more respect or love for my mother. Although I can see how that could be viewed from what I said, sorry. My point was more that you don't need to beat your children to make sure your child isn't spoiled. Not letting the child get his/her way is much different form beating them for something they have done wrong. Once again this is my opinion but if you beat your child for something they have done wrong yes they will see that it is wrong and more then likely not do it again but with out understanding why it is wrong they will not be able to see why, something else which is similar to there past action, is still wrong. Also this teaches children from a young age, that violence solves all problems in the end. If you can't get your way by asking why not use your fist or shoe like my mother/father did? Now not every child has the same reaction to abuse. I was beaten with a belt when I was a child by my mother's boyfriend with my mother crying and screaming for him to stop. He also beat my mother when she did things wrong.

Now if you think its OK to beat a woman for something she has done wrong then I can see why you would think its OK to beat a child but I see no need for either.

Now I would like to say I am not only taking from my personal experiences but also showing a very extreme case. I for a long time found that anger and violence was the answer to many of my problems. It wasn't until I lived with my father that I learned that this was not the case and in fact it was my anger, fear, and aggression were what caused most of my problems. I was never raised with religion. My mother never forced me to go to church and in fact never went her self. My father is a Buddhist who taught me much about self control over my emotions and how to solve problems with out violence. He never beat me and that was a major turning point in my life.

Now I admit that pain is a great learning tool for humans and is used to teach us much. In moderation I think that one can use pain to teach their child not do something that is wrong. But without an explanation and a discussion with said child about why it was wrong does (IMHO) nothing but harm. Also using pain (IMHO) in moderation is very hard for most people to do. It becomes the easy way out. Its not allot of work and it gives instant gratification which Humans seem to enjoy more then the big picture.

I would also like to agree that spoiling a child is very very wrong and can be just as damaging if not more to a child then being beaten (on a case by case basis and depending on how a child reacts to seeing or being beaten or spoiled) and you are right we have moved to spoiling our children (broken families do the best of this always trying to best the other parent and never trying to make the child upset out of fear that the other parent will take advantage of this)

So in conclusion I would like to say that each individual situation must be looked at in a case by case basis. And there isn't an over all right answer for every case. But from what I have seen negative actions almost never create positive results. My Uncle who was beaten by his step father turned out to be an alcoholic (and yes when he is drunk he brings up the fact that his mother and him where both beaten when he was younger and seems to be a big contribution to the fact that he is an out of control alcoholic) and my mothers boyfriend who was beaten as a child learn to beat his girlfriend and her child to keep them under control. I who was beaten as a child and watch my mother beaten as a child, barley ever drinks (about 3 beers very 2 to 4 weeks when I'm out with friends) and I despise the idea of beating my wife or my child. But these negative actions have caused major negative reactions in me as a child until I learn my own inner peace thanks to my father.

Thanks for your time

Josh
Guldan

PS: Sorry for getting so off topic here but this is tied to "Addiction" in a way, and also I would like to say these are only my opinions and I am sure that there are many cases out there of parent using pain in moderation to teach their children what is right or wrong. But from my own personal experiences a negative emotion or action almost always creates a negative reaction in one self and the people around them. Also I am not saying that Darklife41 or your mother beat you, or you your children(in the extreme form of the word) but I am taking this to the extreme because I have seen very very little use of beating (in the least extreme form of the word) a child that has worked (OK one time when I skipped school and my little sister walked alone to school, my mother dragged me out of bed and kneed me in the face lifting me off the ground until I fought her off of me. I never did that again . But we had a good 5 hour talk after that had happened both of use crying and apologising for our actions)

LOL 8) I agree and I am one of the people who have contributed to that fact. I'm still trying to go back and read all that has been said and it is slow going 8O

I rarely ever post on these forums as my main interests lie elsewhere. However, this article drew my attention as gaming in general is one of my passions, but this article struck a nerve as well.

Let's look at the some of the premise here staring with the original one: is game addiction a myth or a reality? It's definitely a reality, just one that is not accepted by the professional establishment. That will come in time. Gaming addiction is just like any other addiction. Gaming, gambling, sex, and alcohol offer things "other" things can't. With gaming it's a virtual reality where you have powers not limited by the laws of science and possessions not limited by law or economics. With gambling it's the thrill of the win against odds. Alcohol really makes you feel good, and it releases inhibitions on thought and behavior limited by norms. I shouldn't have to explain the sex one although I will point out it has more to do with lack of pleasure than anything else.

Do game companies intentionally design their games to be addictive? Yes, and I can not see how this is not the case. Words like enduring, replay value, engrossing, and addictive all describe the same thing in gaming: how much of a draw a game has towards its players. Oblivion is a great example. I have a character I can grow and develop and immediately see the results in terms of greater fighting power and speed. I dungeon crawl for loot to sell and barter, all tax free of course. My sister plays WOW, and she loves the fact she is interacting with friends long distance. At the same time, she's also a summoner and is raising her character to level 70. That's achievment with instant gratification.

Do people with mental illnesses or disabilities have a great susceptibility to addictive qualities be it gambling, alcohol, gaming, etc.? As much as I hate to accept it, yes. Anybody with a rudimentary understanding of neurotransmitters and hormones and how they work knows this to be true.

And here's where I jump ship and row my own boat: do gaming companies have any responsibility in gaming addiction and/or any obligations towards such addicts? No.

And I'm not going to be vague about this either. I'll spell it out. We have free will and the ability to exercise it. No one forced this child to play the game. Remember that whole argument of "no one put a gun to his head" that's used in cases like this? It survives because it's hard to dispute. It holds water because things like that actually happen. That's a reality for a lot of folks. Don't believe me? Look at the Sudan/Darfur conflicts or the Rwanda massacres. Now that is a case where livelihood and the exercise of free will is truly taken away.

This is something people who share my sentiments do automatically, but seems to be really hard to grasp by people on the other side of the argument: the idea that every action by said person was under their complete control. Who has to turn on the computer? Who has to punch the keystrokes? Who has to PAY to play? Who has to get themselves into physical position to play? Who has to logon? Who has to turn on the monitor? I can go on and on for a while, but the fact of the matter is either taken as a whole or a series of discrete actions the gamer is in control of his/her own actions. This is why people keep using the "gun" argument and will continue to do so because the addicts we speak of have control that is independent of the vices we speak of.

"Vices" (I'm sick and tired of typing gaming, gambling, sex, alcohol over and over) offer appeals that "normal" life doesn't. That's the nature of their draw. But the fact of the matter is the said individual has to take the first step for that interaction to happen in the first place, and at every step of the way they can divorce themselves from the process. They CHOOSE not to.

It's a well-written article, but I thought the examples given were too vague and the conclusions that were drawn were tenuous at best. Let's look at this example.

I left out parts of the quote because they're irrevelant to the point I'm trying to make. This is what I have a huge problem with if it's not obvious by this point. Yes games are addictive, but I do not see how anybody can draw the conclusion that most of the blame is on the game or said companies. The player is the one to be personally responsible for the addiction.

To the other side of the argument, I won't doubt I come off as cruel and uncaring. But I applaud Liz Woolley's efforts, and I think she makes some very intelligent arguments concerning her position. I appreciate some of her comments concerning the Virginia Tech shootings, but I didn't appreciate the way she opened up her statements:

Bold emphasis is mine. I could totally be misinterpreting this, and I do apologize if I do, but this segment strikes me as her really really wanting to blame video games, but because games didn't exist in this equation (as seen by the end of my bold emphasis) and do to limited examples available she couldn't blame games.

It's great she's bringing the issue of gaming addiction to a lot of people's attention. But I feel she's doing herself a disservice by blaming the companies and obligating them to do something about it. It's great that gambling corporations offer gambling counseling, but they should't be obligated to.

This is why its great to keep these people talking. The more they say, the more the real causes for the problems become apparent.

(For the record, the high heels always seemed to find my not-so-funny bones in my elbows, not my head.) But this is what people tend to do, read into things what they want to see to justify their own beliefs.

There is an easy way to convince me that my mother's ways and mine are counter-productive. Show me results. I'm results oriented by nature and a firm believer of corrrective action. My mother raised 5 children with this method and all turned out to be productive members of society. Then her 5 children raised 17 children of their own with variations of the same methods. Out of the 22, no suicides and no one in prison yet. Some of us are quite wealthy, but you wouldn't know it from our kids. Seems our results are substantially better than the class on discipline at this time. Gamersmom has suffered the ultimate damage and still refuses to accept the fact that her methods were flawed. So let's blame the game manufacturers? I think not.

I really feel sorry for anyone having to deal with a suicide of one of their children. I feel no sympathy for anyone who can't self diagnose the reasons that led to the crisis in the first place. It seems to me that gamersmom has added to some of her children's problems with her own choices. It also appears that there is definitely some genetic problems at work here. One child committed suicide and another was "out of control" until sometime after 5 years old. Its not exactly like the suicidal child was an isolated incident in this family.

The biggest travesty of society may well be that 'so called' experts convince people to pay for advice and classes which have no substance and simply don't work. Ah, but I took this class and that class so I must know what I'm doing. Even when the failed results are right in front of them, they refuse to accept the fact that they were misled.

You can't develop a credit rating without debts, and you sure can't establish an impressive credit rating in a year. Her oldest has been on his own for a year, which means mother developed his credit rating prior to that. No wonder they're similar.

I'm not impressed that supporting one's self after college in this day and age is a big accomplishment. My brothers and sisters and I supported ourselves through college and paid for it ourselves. Our children will do the same, even though we can afford to foot the bill for them. We won't because that's one of the most important lessons in life, responsibility. The things that mean the most to us in life are the things we have to work the hardest for. It would be irresponsible to rob our children of that feeling. I was the only school drop out. I took a GED at 16 and quit high school to join the USMC on the delayed entry program. I went back to school after the USMC and have continued to educate myself since. All of my brothers and sisters were on their own by 19, after high school, and while in college.

Again, I don't see these new techniques as anything to brag about. Old fashioned discipline helped kids to grow up. Newer techniques seem to be delaying the inevitable. Sooner or later every person needs to stand on their own feet and be responsible for their own actions. For the individual and for society, the sooner the better. Is it the mother who doesn't really want the children to grow up who's holding these kids back and making them dependent? Hmmm.

I know a 5 year old boy who CONSTANTLY asks about playing video games. His parents are divorced and his Dad IS A WOW ADDICT (even has his 5 year old playing it). WOW was a major factor leading to divorce 8O 8O .

He is hooked hard on it, and while he's at his Dads... the addiction is fed & grows. When he stays at his mom's, he goes through withdrawl if she doesn't give him at least 2 hours of game time a day.

I agree with your ideas for limiting playing time and restricting kids under 16, sue. Those are good ideas. I believe WoW now does allow parents to set up timers, etc for minor children, but then there are lots of stories at OLGA about kids hacking around them. The long-term effects on kids are what really frighten me. Their brains are very plastic (moldable) into their early 20's, and we have no research to tell us what heavy floods of dopamine and whatever other neurotransmitters are involved in this can do to an actively developing brain.

I find an interesting parallel in the news this month. Purdue Pharma (makers of oxycontin) and 3 of its execs were just fined $635 million for "misleading the public about the drug's (oxycontin) risk of addiction". Oxycontin was touted to the medical community as being less addictive than other narcotic formulations because of it's time-release formula. From CNBC.com, May 10, 2007:

Purdue learned from focus groups with physicians in 1995 that doctors were worried about the abuse potential of OxyContin. The company then gave false information to its sales representatives that the drug had less potential for addiction and abuse than other painkillers, the U.S. attorney said.

Interestingly enough, 150 years ago, heroin was hawked as a cure for morphine addiction.

That's been my point all along though. His dad is obviously part of the problem and should be held accountable. I don't think weening him off with 2 hours a day at his mother's house is a good idea either. That's feeding the addiction as much as playing at his dad's house.

I believe i've said it before, but I will say it again. I do NOT want to sue the gaming companies or ban video games, and neither does anyone at OLGA. Our primary mission is recovery and support for gamers who are looking for help, and for their family members and friends. We would also like to see games packaged and marketed more responsibly. Companies that make cigarettes and alcohol are required to put warning labels on their products. Casino ads have to include an offer of an 800 number for people with a gambling problem to call if they need help. That's the kind of stuff we're looking for. Perhaps a link to OLGA would pop up anytime someone had been in game for more than ten hours straight. Guys like dark41 and his son could play right through it, but it might make someone stop and think (like this thread did, and thanks again Rob).

Dark, just to clarify things about my older son. By "out of control", I mean that at age 5 he was an always-on-the-go, into-everything kind of kid (genetically, from birth and even before) who required constant supervision to protect him from himself. He was never vicious, mean, or intentionally destructive, and never hurt anyone but himself. Spanking him would barely get his attention, and then only to scream "that didn't hurt!" at the top of his lungs. The program we went to was called "1-2-3-Magic" and has been around for about 25 years. Ask almost any elementary school teacher in the US what it is and they will tell you. At the time it cost us 20 bucks a person to attend and Dr. Phelan offered a money-back guarantee, which we never took him up on, because the change in our son was so dramatic. Unlike many "flash-in-the-pan" programs, this one WORKS. It is also available for free in videotape form at many public libraries now.

I'm sorry to hear you are 15,000 miles from your son. That is very sad.

I wasn't suggesting that you specifically wanted to sue the game manufacturers. It has been mentioned on this thread, and that's why I addressed it.

My 3 kids and I don't have a perfect situation, but then who does? We're still closer than many kids who are living in the same home with their dad. We chat on messenger about every other day, which is another possible addiction that I won't go into here. I also visit them twice every year and fly one of them here to visit for (usually) 6 weeks every year. My oldest daughter will be here in 9 days for an 11 week visit.

Its not likely that my son and I will play through any timers together in the future, as on his last visit he destroyed me on Civ IV. I play this game often, but this was his first time. I'm now boycotting the little &$%@ as far as computer games go.

I have almost exactly the same problem with my son as gamersmom has with hers. I have two sons, both going to medical school. One to an area that is a couple of hours away from us (by plane), and the other to a nearby university that is 10 mins drive from us. The one that is living with us is doing very well and getting straight As. Moreover, he is very well like by his professors and peers. The eldest, on the other hand, is getting now all Fs. He became so addict to playing that he would stay in the internet cafe for days before going back to his apartment to sleep for a short while before going back again to the internet cafe. He seems to have entered another universe. He even used the money I sent for his school fees to pay for these online games.
We are a loving family and were fair with both of my sons. However, the eldest son was kind of addict to playing games even before going to medical school. But I was always with him when not working in order to make sure that his playing time would not affect his grades. Going away only gave him the opportunity to continue his addiction to a higher level without supervision from anyone.
I want my son back, but my wife and I are at a loss of what to do to tackle his obsession with these games.

I thank gamersmom for replying so promptly. I went to the site and I saw it emphesised more on god than anything else. I am a religious person and I taught my kids the importance of religion and values. However, I think the main problem is with the person himself/herself not having enough power to quit, and what can we do to help them quit their addiction. Turning to god can help with those who may think they have been away from god and need to strngthen their will. But I do not know how much this can help for those of us who are religious but do not have much will anyway.

I am thinking of the following measures:
1. Not give my son any money, so he would not have anything to use to pay for these online games.
2. Put a password on the computers at home, so he would only use them when I am around and under my direct supervision.
3. Force him to be busy all day. For example I will ask him to write lengthy reports.
4. I will find him a short term job, but one that requires muscular activity.

All in all I would make my son use his brain and muscles, so that by the end of the day he is so exhausted that he would want to go to bed without having much time to think of these online games. I want this to continue for some time until i see that his social life and conduct are those of non-addicts.

My problem, however, is still there. You see, he is studying Dentistry and there is no nearby school for this specialization. If I let him go back to school, then I dont have any guarantree that he would not go back to his addiction. If I dont, I would probably do him injustice, by not allowing him to continue in a specailization that he really wants.

Gaming adiction is very real, both for MMO games and console games. The difference between the two is: console games have a limited life span as they can be completed, MMO do not.

As many others have already, I would like to add my own personal experience to this discussion.

Firstly I think gaming addiction happens to everyone that plays games to some extent. Just like if your gambling and you win you'll think oh lets just do one more bet, some people have the strength to say no whereas the real addicts dont.

I started playing online games at the age of 12 (late 2001), with a game known as Legend Of Mir 2. I would say I have a pretty supportive family background, with 3 brothers and 1 sister in the background during this time in my life. My father started playing the game at the same time as me, and like most parents they knew it was important to limit my gaming time. I probably had about 1hour per day max at this time on Mir, and this meant that I had a pretty normal social early teenage upbringing, playing with friends doing what most teenages do you know...

As I got older, my parents gave me more responsibility, and allowed me to play more. I guess around 15 years old I would be playing 2 hours a night no more, and 4 hours or so each day on the weekend, depending on what I was doing. The fact that the computer I used was my dads limited the amount I could play, which I would say now was a good thing (though back then it wasnt!) Most of my friends played online games at this time with me anyway, so I guess we'd play online instead of playing outside. We (as in myself and 4 others from my class at school), were still playing Mir the game I started in 2001 and introduced them to.

Then came WOW in febuary 2005, the most addictive game I had played yet, but also the most fun. At first I was slightly limited by how much I could play, and I chose not to play that much anyway (maybe 3 hours a few nights a week 6-7 hours on weekends). Once I gained levels I played more and more. Then came the summer after my GCSE's, since I was on holiday and my dad was working my restrictions were basically zero. He was no longer playing any MMO and noone used the computer for anything else. I started getting into the PvP aspect of the game, which as anyone who has played knows takes large amounts of time to get anywhere with. Anyway, I ended up playing 17-18 hours a day to get top points on the server, 7 days a week. I basically did 4 things with my life at this point: ate food, slept, went to the toilet, and played WOW. I didnt even find it that fun, I guess I did it cause I wanted to succeed, because I found it easier than succeeding in real life. I wanted to be noticed, and to prove to people I could do it, seems stupid now ofcourse, but it didnt at the time.

At the end of the summer college started, and I gave up with PvPing and joined a raiding guild. Playing less now cause I HAD to go to college most of the day (and doing Math/Furthermath/Physics/Geography/Chemistry A levels was hard work!). Ended up raiding around 7 hours an evening, from when I got home to when I went to bed. On weekends I would play upwards of 12 hours. I guess I have good genes, im quite naturally clever, and this enabled me to get A's in GCSE's with practically no work, but that wasnt the case for A level. Anyway I took my AS levels winter 2005 and summer 2006, and ended up with BCDD (I dropped chemistry early on, too much work).

After I got my results in I decided I would give up on MMO's and I havented played any since June 2006. This has meant that, even though I did crap at AS, ive been able to retake exams and am now on my way to getting 3A's and 1B at A2 (predicted from previous exam results, dependent on this summers results).

Now looking back theres a number of things I can take from this experience:

# My parents were very important at the young age, and I was lucky they limited my time on games, had they not I would no doubt be in a far worse position now. Parental control is paramount to stopping gaming addiction at young ages, when children dont have the mental capacity to make proper decisions themselves.
# Addictions are possible to break away from, I wouldnt say it was at all easy, and even now I still think alot about my time on MMOs, and want to play them again. But I have the strength to resist.
# Gaming addictions are very real, and just as destructive in some ways as other more commonly known addictions. They can destroy a childs academic success, and disrupt their social development.
# Gaming addictions can cause long term change in a persons personality, and their ability to deal with other children and adults. Even now im not as confident as I should be in respects to speaking expressing myself etc, and I blame that partly to my extensive online gaming habit.

With regards to responsibility, I believe it falls on two groups: the parents, and the people producing the game. At a young age I dont think any responsibility is on the child, atleast not below the age of 15 or so. Parents need to be aware of this problem, and they need to deal with it accordingly, as they would with anything that could potentially harm a child. Producers need to be aware of the problems their products are creating, and should in some way limit time played, or design their games so not as much time is required (WOW required 5 hours minimum to complete some of its dungeons).

Games can be dangerous, but not if their properly understood by the right people (namely parents). It is blatently obvious this is a problem that affects a lot of people, and even I personally knew of atleast 100 people on just my WOW server alone that played upward of 12 hours per day each week. Even though many wouldnt admit it, you are blatently addicted if your playing 12 hours a day. There was one person in my guild that got into huge dept cause he was playing WOW and not doing the job he was suppose to. There was another who's wife had left him cause he played the game so much. The list of examples of how games can destroy lives just goes on and on. But at this sort of age, I think the responsibility mainly lies in the gamer, as over the age of 18 its their own choice how much they play.

EDIT:

Even though games were very fun, and I enjoyed almost every minute of it. I now wish I had never started playing any online games. I feel like ive wasted years of time (my played time on WOW was something like 130 days at the end). My advise to parents, and I think this would have helped me is to prevent your children from even starting on these games. If their not aware of them its no problem. If their friends play then let them play but limit their time carefully, I know with WOW you can make the game playable only at certain times. Talk to other parents whose children play, make them aware of the risks, and make sure your children only play at certain times etc.

Edit for double post.