In a press release titled "Making Games is Hard," Valve this week announced the delay of Portal 2 into 2011.
Originally scheduled for the end of this year, the news will disappoint a lot of fans of the first Portal game. However, Valve, writing the press release from the perspective of Aperture Science, the company assured fans that life would go on despite the delay.
Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.
"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.
Valve also did its best to calm everyone down about the surprise it has planned for E3. Over the last few days speculation has been flying about Half Life, Duke Nukem 3D and who knows what else. The whacky release cleared things up by referring to the 'surprise' event as "The E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise."