Portal 2 Delayed Until 2011, E3 Surprise Revealed
In a press release titled "Making Games is Hard," Valve this week announced the delay of Portal 2 into 2011.
Originally scheduled for the end of this year, the news will disappoint a lot of fans of the first Portal game. However, Valve, writing the press release from the perspective of Aperture Science, the company assured fans that life would go on despite the delay.
Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.
"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.
Valve also did its best to calm everyone down about the surprise it has planned for E3. Over the last few days speculation has been flying about Half Life, Duke Nukem 3D and who knows what else. The whacky release cleared things up by referring to the 'surprise' event as "The E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise."

Come on Steam! Enough with the mysteries!
Portal 2 is a lie, Portal 2 is a lie, Portal 2 is a...whyyyyyyyyy!
Well, hopefully they do make Portal 2 even better then Portal was, especially if it's going to have a new engine. Steam knows what they are doing, hopefully, otherwise this might turn out to hurt them if they mess this surprise up.
wahahahahahahaa
That'd just be the worst surprise ever lmao.
After the E3 surprise, you will be... missed.
Please assume the surprise submission position.
+1
As for you, calm down. The message title is part of the release from the Aperture Science POV that they've taken with these "press releases". Valve is obviously having fun with it. Perhaps you should as well...?
After all, life will continue...at least until there is a rip in the Valve Time Fabric...=)