''Privates'' for PC Gets Enhanced Without Drugs

Here's a PC game that will leave you speechless.

Earlier this year Zombie Cow Studios announced Privates, a side-scrolling action PC game that takes place in feminine areas where the sun don't shine. The game became available back in August, however the Xbox 360 version was canned because of its questionable content. Now the company has revealed a free DLC pack for the PC version slated for Spring 2011, offering additional gameplay within the male anatomy.

"We’ve decided to go all-out and make a whole new adventure, this time set inside a gentleman’s bits," said Dan Marshall from Zombie Cow Studios. "We’re also planning to cram in new gameplay mechanics, new enemy types, new locations, and a new player character. It’s not just more of the same, although it’s DLC so clearly some of it’s going to wind up pretty similar."

The unique premise behind Privates is both humorous and somewhat embarrassing. Players lead a "teenty-tiny" gang of condom-hatted marines into private parts as they blast away various microscopic monsters. The game consists of five levels full of 3D rendered human anatomy, a fully-voiced comedy script, and a "nutso" soundtrack.

"You never know, you might even learn something handy about your downstairs-department," the company mused.

Zombie Cow added that the anatomy aspect isn't biologically accurate, so no worries about a forced lesson in biology. "We've had to make loads of concessions in order to make the game fun to play," the developer said. "There's still loads of important stuff to take from Privates. Just be sensible about which bits."

Privates is free to download and explore, and can be accessed here. As previously mentioned, the DLC pack is expected to become available in Spring 2011--Viagra and Extenze not needed for gameplay.