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Petition to Build Death Star Prompts Hilarious Response from White House

By - Source: White House Petitions | B 43 comments

The Force is strong within the White House.

Amidst myriad troubles the White House is dealing with, it's nice to see that someone in the government hasn't lost their sense of humor to the tanking economy.

Back in mid-November, a man in Colorado filed a joke petition on the White House petition website, asking the U.S. government to build a Death Star. The reasons cited definitely sold the construction of the fictional space station. "By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star," read the petition, "the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense."

The petition garnered over 30,000 signatures, enough for it to go to the attention of the White House.

Rather than simply dismissing it, the White House surprisingly released an equally cheeky response titled "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For." Unfortunately for the signees of the petition, it was denied.

"The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon," wrote Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget. "Here are a few reasons:

·        The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.

·        The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

·        Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

The funnies aside, Shawcross points to the International Space Station, the SPHERES experiment, the James Webb Telescope, among other U.S. space achievements as proof that "[w]e are living in the future!"

Shawcross ended the denial with a call to support the sciences and maths, something that the U.S. has been lagging behind in recent years, "If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

It's just too bad that the Empire doesn't need the permission of the White House to begin construction on space's ultimate super weapon.

 

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Top Comments
  • 46 Hide
    A Bad Day , January 16, 2013 2:12 AM
    Sometimes all it takes is some humor to remind us that the government isn't full of bad people.
  • 41 Hide
    deftonian , January 16, 2013 2:19 AM
    I'm sure Apple would sue them anyways had they built one. Looks too much like an apple logo and I'm sure violates at least 850,000,000,000,000,000 patents.
  • 40 Hide
    techseven , January 16, 2013 2:21 AM
    "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

    hahaha didn't see that one coming :D 
Other Comments
  • 11 Hide
    JJ1217 , January 16, 2013 2:10 AM
    lol
  • 46 Hide
    A Bad Day , January 16, 2013 2:12 AM
    Sometimes all it takes is some humor to remind us that the government isn't full of bad people.
  • 41 Hide
    deftonian , January 16, 2013 2:19 AM
    I'm sure Apple would sue them anyways had they built one. Looks too much like an apple logo and I'm sure violates at least 850,000,000,000,000,000 patents.
  • 40 Hide
    techseven , January 16, 2013 2:21 AM
    "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

    hahaha didn't see that one coming :D 
  • 7 Hide
    sacre , January 16, 2013 2:21 AM
    Maybe not as radical as a death star, but to save some money to construct a larger Space Station which can house 50-100 people, maybe a little less. Something that can protect against deadly radiation, that we can grow a small "Farm" on to see how that works. Create a habitat.

    Maybe they are working on something of that sort as we speak, but the only way forward - is up.

    A death star though is pretty dumb imo, the cost, the purpose? the many hundreds of years required.. naw.
  • 23 Hide
    xpeh , January 16, 2013 2:25 AM
    "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

    I haven't seen any one-man starships lately
  • 5 Hide
    mrjhh , January 16, 2013 2:36 AM
    Now I understand why the White House changed the threshold from 25,000 to 100,000 for new petitions.
  • 12 Hide
    combine1237 , January 16, 2013 2:44 AM
    This pretty much made my day.
  • 12 Hide
    kinggremlin , January 16, 2013 2:45 AM
    I don't normally bitch about late news here, but jesus THG. This was on MSN.com, the DEFAULT home page for Internet Explorer 3 days ago and you're just getting around to posting this now?

    Quote:
    Rather than simply dismissing it, the White House surprisingly released an equally cheeky response titled "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For."


    And as usual THG did zero fact checking or research which is odd since they've had at least 3 days to do so. The reason this petition wasn't "simply dismissed" was because a response is required for any petition that receives at least 25,000 signatures within 30 days, which this petition achieved. This was bumped up to 100,000 today.
  • 2 Hide
    Botia , January 16, 2013 2:48 AM
    I feel bad for the guy who wrote the response. All the other politicians are making him look bad.
  • 8 Hide
    unksol , January 16, 2013 2:55 AM
    There's been a much. Erm.... "saner"? Proposal out for a while. Regarding building the enterprise in 20 years for a trillion dollars.

    www.buildtheenterprise.org

    One "crazy" star trek fan? Who happens to be an engineer? With sources? Maybe. Maybe over rating the "motivation" of it looking like the enterprise. Maybe costs aren't even close. But then. If his numbers check out, or are even close, we'd be kind of crazy not to.

    Obviously no phasers or warp, and the question of actually looking like the enterprise is a Lil Iffy. But a massive mobile space station that takes care of all our transportation and exploration needs in our own solar system? And planning to actually DO something with NASA? I'll bite.
  • 17 Hide
    waikano , January 16, 2013 2:55 AM
    "We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it."

    This has to the funniest line in the whole thing...
  • 1 Hide
    Anonymous , January 16, 2013 3:12 AM
    This cowardly response from the US government plays straight into the Empire's hands:
    http://starwarsblog.starwars.com/index.php/2013/01/15/planet-earth-abandons-death-star-project-in-face-of-superior-galactic-imperial-power/

    Not everyone has been taken in by the White House's weak justifications:
    http://blog.patentology.com.au/2013/01/white-house-in-disappointing-death-star.html
  • 0 Hide
    rantoc , January 16, 2013 3:21 AM
    sacreMaybe not as radical as a death star, but to save some money to construct a larger Space Station which can house 50-100 people, maybe a little less. Something that can protect against deadly radiation, that we can grow a small "Farm" on to see how that works.


    Yeah so the rich people can escape the earth they destroyed by their greed while the rest dies, sounds like a good idea =) Yupp we are heading that way!
  • -2 Hide
    fonzy , January 16, 2013 4:08 AM
    Yeah they are sarcastically joking.... Why would we need something that big?....the bases on the Moon and mars are more than adequate for "us"
  • 1 Hide
    FloKid , January 16, 2013 4:22 AM
    First failed attempt to build a Death Star it is, try harder you must.

    ~Dark Yoda
  • -3 Hide
    JOSHSKORN , January 16, 2013 4:36 AM
    Star Wars should've trolled the patent system, patented all of its ideas. Would've beat Apple to the punch.
  • -1 Hide
    ricdiculus , January 16, 2013 5:18 AM
    I duno, but the 2nd DeathStar was ready to go with only half as much in that pos!

    Maybe we should set our goals a little lower.

    Just sayin.
  • -2 Hide
    jaws32 , January 16, 2013 11:42 AM
    if it's true.$850,000,000,000,000,000 is surely can make two other liberty statue 5 white house and maybe 2 tajmahal and other with great cost...
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