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White House Web Petition Urges Construction of Death Star

By - Source: The White House | B 56 comments
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Besides rather depressing topics such as the fiscal cliff, there is good reason for the U.S. government to focus on more upbeat tasks to keep us motivated. Such as the construction of a Death Star.

There is, in fact, an online petition on the White House website that suggests such a project, supported by common sense conclusions that serve the purposes of employment, science and national security. From the post:

"By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense."

At the time of this writing, the petition needed about 20,600 more signatures. Of course, building an actual Death Star would be a massive project that would cost roughly $852 quadrillion to construct a spaceship that is about 90 miles in diameter and would need 1 quadrillion tons of steel to be completed.

That may sound extreme, but if you consider the fact that Earth has enough iron supply to come up with the material for 2 billion Death Stars and that it would take 833,315 years to produce enough steel to start work on a Death Star, it would require us to spend only $1 trillion per year to plan the construction. Consider the lucky circumstance that the U.S. currently has debt of more than $16 trillion and there is a good chance that an additional $1 trillion per year could be squeezed into this debt without anyone noticing.

Of course, that scenario would be based on the assumption that we can wait 833,000 years, before we are attacked by an intelligent life form in the Universe. Voyager 1 and 2, which were launched in 1977 are on their way into interstellar space, more than 10 billion miles away from Earth are believed to be within 1.6 light years (or 9.3 trillion miles) of AC+79 3888, a star in the constellation of Camelopardalis, in about 40,000 years, NASA said. In 296,000 years, Voyager 2 will be within 4.3 light years (25 trillion miles) from Sirius, providing space population with a clear map how to find Earth.


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  • 36 Hide
    NightLight , December 5, 2012 7:37 PM
    2 things: don't make the exhaust port reachable by a snub fighter, and don't make a path right to the core, this might cause giant explosions....
  • 32 Hide
    Polluted , December 5, 2012 7:43 PM
    NightLight2 things: don't make the exhaust port reachable by a snub fighter, and don't make a path right to the core, this might cause giant explosions....


    Pffft, as long as the port is only two meters wide it'll be fine.
  • 30 Hide
    internetlad , December 5, 2012 7:56 PM
    Obama: "What they heck is this petition for? To build a new Moon?"

    Aide: "That's no Moon. . ."
Other Comments
  • 36 Hide
    NightLight , December 5, 2012 7:37 PM
    2 things: don't make the exhaust port reachable by a snub fighter, and don't make a path right to the core, this might cause giant explosions....
  • 32 Hide
    Polluted , December 5, 2012 7:43 PM
    NightLight2 things: don't make the exhaust port reachable by a snub fighter, and don't make a path right to the core, this might cause giant explosions....


    Pffft, as long as the port is only two meters wide it'll be fine.
  • 26 Hide
    jacobdrj , December 5, 2012 7:50 PM
    PollutedPffft, as long as the port is only two meters wide it'll be fine.

    Yeah, and just Ray Shield it... That way, nothing short of proton torpedoes could breach it anyways, even if a snub fighter did manage to fire it into that 2 meter hole...
  • -9 Hide
    internetlad , December 5, 2012 7:50 PM
    PollutedPffft, as long as the port is only two meters wide it'll be fine.


    You'd need some advanced electronics designed to hit tiny targets, or something. bahaha.
  • 20 Hide
    internetlad , December 5, 2012 7:53 PM
    PollutedPffft, as long as the port is only two meters wide it'll be fine.


    Doubt anybody could hit a target the size of a womp rat with a fighter LOL
  • 15 Hide
    Darkk , December 5, 2012 7:54 PM
    "I have a bad feeling about this."
  • 10 Hide
    A Bad Day , December 5, 2012 7:55 PM
    Why build one super death planet that can't respond to multiple attacks (if we ever colonize other solar systems), when we can use the resources in much smaller and larger number of units. Not to mention it would also encourage the enemy to invest in one giant anti-Deathstart instead of countering massed harassment attacks.

    There's a reason why Germany never built their 1500 ton super tank back during WWII. Too immobile, and too big of a target for bombers and artillery.
  • 30 Hide
    internetlad , December 5, 2012 7:56 PM
    Obama: "What they heck is this petition for? To build a new Moon?"

    Aide: "That's no Moon. . ."
  • 24 Hide
    internetlad , December 5, 2012 7:58 PM
    A Bad DayWhy build one super death planet that can't respond to multiple attacks (if we ever colonize other solar systems), when we can use the resources in much smaller and larger number of units. Not to mention it would also encourage the enemy to invest in one giant anti-Deathstart instead of countering massed harassment attacks.There's a reason why Germany never built their 1500 ton super tank back during WWII. Too immobile, and too big of a target for bombers and artillery.


    The Death Star was more than that. It was escorted by star destroyers and super star destroyers, and had squadrons of smaller fighters on-board. Also, it could literally destroy a planet.

    It was as much a display of shock-and-awe as it w-oh god i'm a nerd.
  • -8 Hide
    john15v16 , December 5, 2012 8:02 PM
    [Darth Vader] "Luke, I am your Father!!" [Luke Skywalker] "Nooooo!!!"
  • 14 Hide
    senkasaw , December 5, 2012 8:04 PM
    internetladThe Death Star was more than that. It was escorted by star destroyers and super star destroyers, and had squadrons of smaller fighters on-board. Also, it could literally destroy a planet.It was as much a display of shock-and-awe as it w-oh god i'm a nerd.



    ...as are we all, my friend. As are we all.
  • 10 Hide
    CaedenV , December 5, 2012 8:05 PM
    internetladObama: "What they heck is this petition for? To build a new Moon?"Aide: "That's no Moon. . ."

    Does this make Obama the evil Emperor? Cause I have a ton of friends to claim they saw this coming lol
  • -6 Hide
    kdw75 , December 5, 2012 8:11 PM
    Oh yeah. Which planet can we blow up first?
  • -7 Hide
    A Bad Day , December 5, 2012 8:16 PM
    internetladThe Death Star was more than that. It was escorted by star destroyers and super star destroyers, and had squadrons of smaller fighters on-board. Also, it could literally destroy a planet.It was as much a display of shock-and-awe as it w-oh god i'm a nerd.


    All those escorts mean nothing if your enemy can slip in, harass a couple of your colonies (or level them with orbital bombardment), and bail out before the Death Star shows up.

    Then, when the Death Star is enroute or at the original scene, they could harass the solar system that the fortress was guarding.
  • 27 Hide
    spartanmk2 , December 5, 2012 8:17 PM
    Many bothans died to bring us this information. :( 
  • 9 Hide
    Anonymous , December 5, 2012 8:20 PM
    Thank you, THG. I'd been having a bit of a bad day and this article and it's comments cheered me right up!

    Oh and I wouldn't worry about Voyager 1 and 2 giving away our coordinates. Apparently they flew back to earth some time ago and have been living here secretly posing as humans.
  • 2 Hide
    edogawa , December 5, 2012 8:57 PM
    One massive giant military weapon that doubles as a research station would be so cool.

    With a working space elevator it would possible to deploy supplies and materials to build this station and bring space material back, it could be a great leap for advancement into space.
  • -1 Hide
    xaephod , December 5, 2012 9:06 PM
    They needed a Fram filter put over the exhaust port!
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