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Petition to Build Death Star Prompts Hilarious Response from White House

Amidst myriad troubles the White House is dealing with, it's nice to see that someone in the government hasn't lost their sense of humor to the tanking economy.

Back in mid-November, a man in Colorado filed a joke petition on the White House petition website, asking the U.S. government to build a Death Star. The reasons cited definitely sold the construction of the fictional space station. "By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star," read the petition, "the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense."

The petition garnered over 30,000 signatures, enough for it to go to the attention of the White House.

Rather than simply dismissing it, the White House surprisingly released an equally cheeky response titled "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For." Unfortunately for the signees of the petition, it was denied.

"The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon," wrote Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget. "Here are a few reasons:

·        The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.

·        The Administration does not support blowing up planets.

·        Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

The funnies aside, Shawcross points to the International Space Station, the SPHERES experiment, the James Webb Telescope, among other U.S. space achievements as proof that "[w]e are living in the future!"

Shawcross ended the denial with a call to support the sciences and maths, something that the U.S. has been lagging behind in recent years, "If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

It's just too bad that the Empire doesn't need the permission of the White House to begin construction on space's ultimate super weapon.

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  • JJ1217
    lol
    Reply
  • fnh
    The American tax dollars at work.
    Reply
  • A Bad Day
    Sometimes all it takes is some humor to remind us that the government isn't full of bad people.
    Reply
  • deftonian
    I'm sure Apple would sue them anyways had they built one. Looks too much like an apple logo and I'm sure violates at least 850,000,000,000,000,000 patents.
    Reply
  • techseven
    "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

    hahaha didn't see that one coming :D
    Reply
  • sacre
    Maybe not as radical as a death star, but to save some money to construct a larger Space Station which can house 50-100 people, maybe a little less. Something that can protect against deadly radiation, that we can grow a small "Farm" on to see how that works. Create a habitat.

    Maybe they are working on something of that sort as we speak, but the only way forward - is up.

    A death star though is pretty dumb imo, the cost, the purpose? the many hundreds of years required.. naw.
    Reply
  • xpeh
    "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

    I haven't seen any one-man starships lately
    Reply
  • mrjhh
    Now I understand why the White House changed the threshold from 25,000 to 100,000 for new petitions.
    Reply
  • combine1237
    This pretty much made my day.
    Reply
  • kinggremlin
    I don't normally bitch about late news here, but jesus THG. This was on MSN.com, the DEFAULT home page for Internet Explorer 3 days ago and you're just getting around to posting this now?

    Rather than simply dismissing it, the White House surprisingly released an equally cheeky response titled "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For."

    And as usual THG did zero fact checking or research which is odd since they've had at least 3 days to do so. The reason this petition wasn't "simply dismissed" was because a response is required for any petition that receives at least 25,000 signatures within 30 days, which this petition achieved. This was bumped up to 100,000 today.
    Reply