• Women Attracted to Scent of Anti-Static Bags

Forget muscles, musk and Maseratis! A new study soon to appear in the American Journal of Psychology shows that the scents commonly emitted from an all-night computer building competition are far more appealing to the average woman.

The landmark finding by a team of researchers from the University of California at Berkley flipped conventional testosterone-based thinking on its head.

Psychologists have long known that scent is an important force in determining initial levels of sexual attraction for both males and females, with the effects being particularly strong on females. While the exact reasons for this importance are unknown, it is believed that scents are able to silently communicate evolutionarily desirable traits to the receiver. Knowing this, the researchers decided to pit stereotypical attractive scents against stereotypical unattractive scents in a Revenge of the Nerds-style free-for-all.

The methodology of the study was simple: researchers exposed a group of women to various scents while keeping the participants’ other senses completely in the dark. They then took measurements of salivary testosterone levels to determine changes in attraction.

“Needless to say, we were completely taken aback by the results of our tests,” explained Dr. Megan Wang of Berkley. “In nearly all of the cases, attraction was higher when the women were exposed to scents such as anti-static hardware bags or solder than when exposed to pheromones from body builders or the ‘Axe’ brand of body wash. We really don’t have any explanation yet as to why this happened.”

Hoping to quickly capitalize on this news, fashion company Christian Dior has announced the release of its new scent, “Thermal Contact.” Apple is also rumored to be retooling its long-running series of advertisements featuring Justin Long as the Mac spokesman. Replacing Long could be Brent Spiner, better known as Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Consumers have already begun responding to the news. Lens Crafters Opticians reports that horn-rimmed glasses are flying off the shelves faster than they can be restocked. Several exotic car shows around the country have been cancelled due to lack of interest. iPhone jail-breaking competitions have been set up in their stead.

Tom’s Hardware offices have also been adversely affected. Reporters are having a hard time getting to work on account of being thronged by busty women hounding them for autographs or pictures. One even caught an admirer trying to steal his non-magnetized screwdriver.

[• This story, marked with a • is weekend entertainment content only and should not to be considered factual ]Image: courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/tedmurphy/

  • skittle
    not news, we have all known this for years...
  • B-Unit
    "(• This story, marked with a • is weekend entertainment content only and should not to be considered factual ]Image: courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/tedmurphy/"

    Entirely made up, or was the scent research real?
  • justinblue

    The way they do research on scents is real (AFAIK). Also, the facts about smells and their affects on attraction are real. However, no, there was no research on the scent of Anti-Static bags or mountain dew :)

  • doomtomb
    I think this whole thing is fake dude...
  • rbarone69
    hahahah that's funny. I lulz
  • JMS3096
    Crap. My hopes were SO high!
  • apache_lives
    well the smell thing is real and has some effects - thats why we all mask our stench with deodorant etc

    oh and my dad used to work in exchanges all day and did always smell the same like electrical etc - doubt it makes any difference smelling nerdy etc
  • garborg
    Right... It has nothing to do with the test being conducted in Berkley, the only place in the world that lives in it's own Universe.

    Now that would be a better study. "Why Berkley is stuck up"
  • norbs
    I'll just pretend tom's hardware was hacked...
  • cletus_slackjawd
    Absolutely brilliant. Need more funny stories like this in the future.