Cringey retro computing band 'Windows95man' goes viral, takes 19th place at Eurovision 2024

Windows95man in Japan
(Image credit: Windows95man)

The extravagant live final of the Eurovision Song Contest 2024 took place in Sweden last night, with results counted into the small hours. As the votes flowed in, hopes of triumph for retro computing flag bearer Windows95man crashed (pun intended), with Finland’s pick ending the night placed 19 out of 25 hopeful finalists.

(Image credit: Eurovision)

While it was great to see a cultural revival of the Windows 95 style logo, we feel that the artist would have had better luck choosing a name based on an even-number Windows release. Windows98man or WindowsXPman would surely have had better luck and won more hearts.

Windows95man - No Rules! (Windows logos blurred, due to rules)

Windows95man’s entry was undeniably Europop, but kept Finland’s crazy reputation intact with the lead singer emerging from a steaming giant ‘egg’ wearing his signature style Windows 95 cap and T-shirt, and too-short shorts.

Te note that the song, No Rules! was completely barren of retro computing references. Some retro nostalgia references in the song could surely have gained Finland more votes. References to floppies and hard disks would score high for double entendres, and Windows95man’s mentions of bulging CRTs couldn't have hurt his chance for success.

Finland last found Eurovision glory with Lordi’s Hard Rock Hallelujah, way back in 2006. Lordi was a heavy metal band that delivered a monstrous sound, and band members rocked a prosthetics-heavy monster appearance.

Eurovision 2024 winner - Nemo: The Code

Congratulations go to Eurovision 2024 winner Nemo, who performed The Code (video link), on behalf of Switzerland. Despite the song title, there is no mention of assembly language, BASIC, or even Python in the lyrics.

Below the Swiss, Croatia came a close second, followed by Ukraine, France, and Israel, making up the top five.

According to tradition, the Swiss will be hosts of Eurovision 2025.

Mark Tyson
Freelance News Writer

Mark Tyson is a Freelance News Writer at Tom's Hardware US. He enjoys covering the full breadth of PC tech; from business and semiconductor design to products approaching the edge of reason.

  • Priscus
    Finland: surely should have gone for 'Tux'!
  • Pierce2623
    Uhmm…anybody got some bleach I can pour in my eyes?
  • GoofyOne
    Priscus said:
    Finland: surely should have gone for 'Tux'!

    Always hope for next year. It might be too cold for Penguins up there in Finland.