If you are like us, you enjoy Sci-Fi like an addiction.
But have you ever wondered what it would be like if our favorite characters battled it out to the death in the ring to prove, once and for all, who was the biggest bad-ass of them all?
T-800 vs. R2-D2 and C-3P0
R2D2 and C-3P0 put their love and lives on the line to fight what could be one of the most mismatched fights since Apollo Creed was stricken down by Ivan Drago in Rocky IV. While R2-D2 does have moxie and battle experience, that alone cannot make up for the total lack of combat skills and ring presence of his life partner, C-3P0. The T-800, on the other hand, is a killing machine (no pun indented). Speed, power, and unmatched determination should make short work of the two mechanical queens.
Prediction: T-800 By way of KO, 1:45 Round 1.
Tom Servo vs. Optimus Prime
Tom Servo, the wise cracking, B-movie-watching bubble gum machine takes on Super Heavyweight Optimus Prime. The more cerebral fighter is Servo, so he should be able to stick and jab his way into the second round, but his lack of dedication to cardio will prove to be his undoing and will be overwhelmed by the size and strength of the Autobot leader.
Prediction: Optimus Prime by way of crushing, 3:02 in Round 2.
R.O.B. vs. Johnny 5
Robotic Operating Buddy for the NES (or R.O.B., for short) is set to take on Johnny 5 for the long awaited grudge match, billed as "Most Useless Robot of the 80's". Expect to see no love lost for these two mortal enemies. Rumor has it that the long-time buddy, creator, and trainer of Johnny 5, Steve Guttenberg, has switched camps to train R.O.B. The fall-out between the two former best friends allegedly came about when Johnny 5 was offered the staring role of "Carey Mahoney" in the new Police Academy film, Police Academy 8: The Hunt for Bin Laden. This could be one of the top fights of the night, so don't blink.
Prediction: Johnny 5 by way of laser decapitation, 1:52 in Round 3
Al Gore vs. RoboCop
Former Vice President, Nobel Prize winner, and teen heartthrob Al Gore takes on the king of Chaotic Good and self-proclaimed People’s Champion, RoboCop. Al Gore is coming off of a serious ACL tear that he sustained on MTV's “Krumping for Mother Earth" dance-off and would be wise to take the fight to the ground, where he can impose his will over the heavy-handed RoboCop. Not without his own injury problems, RoboCop is coming off a tough victory over the heavily favored Mechagodzilla and may not be at 100%. This should go the distance.
Thundercleese vs. Rosie the Maid (from “The Jetsons”)
After Rosie broke one of his prized lawn gnomes, Thundercleese went on a killing rampage and actually made a half-man, half-dog zoot suit out of George and Astro Jetson. Thundercleese went on record saying that if Rosie did not meet him in the cage, that he would target Elroy and Judy next. This has left this simple household cleaning bot with no choice but to come out of retirement and take on the outraged killbot. Thundercleese's agent Drew Rosenhaus has guaranteed nothing short of a first round beheading and the early money has Rosie at a 50-1 long shot; but with Thundercleese's rage at such a high level, this has upset of the year written all over it!
Prediction: Upset! Rosie the Maid by way of Clubbing with vacuum cleaner, 0:52 in Round 1.
Bender vs. Marvin the Paranoid Android
Bender Bending Rodriguez takes on the ever-depressed Marvin the Paranoid Android, and this should be nothing less then a slugfest. With Marvin's legendary chin and total lack of caring for his well being, this epic battle should prove to be more than a match for Bender. But losing is one thing that the master of one-liners is not accustomed to. This battle may not be for the faint of heart. Expect to see lots of oil spilled over the mat and spot-welding done between rounds to keep the fighters going that extra round.
Prediction: Bender by split decision.
[• This story, marked with a • is weekend entertainment content only and should not to be considered factual ]
If Marvin can sit around and wait for the end of the universe, I'm sure Bender would eventually just get bored of listening to "brain the size of the planet and here I am stuck in the ring with you", and forfeit to go steal something.
I'll take that bet. A violent convicted felon over a lazy, whining pseudo-intellectual in the ring every time. Of course, if you think of Bender as being like Mike Tyson, he could blow it by doing something stupid like showing up sober or getting disqualified.
A bracket is a good idea!!