You'll need sandpaper if you want to use a smaller tablet.
Following up on the news of the record breaking quarter with $20.34 billion in revenue, Steve Jobs hopped on the investor conference call with some VERY choice words again for basically anyone in the same business as Apple, but wasn't Apple.
First off on his hit list was Research in Motion with its entry into tablets and app stores. Job was proud that the 14.1 million iPhones outsold the 12.1 million BlackBerrys sold during the quarter.
Jobs then had disparaging words for RIM, basically saying that the Canadian BlackBerry phone maker has a uphill battle on trying to build an app store when there's already the iTunes App Store and the Android Marketplace. Jobs doesn't see there being enough room for a third.
The Apple CEO then launched in a numbers game against Google CEO Eric Schmidt about the number of smartphones activated each day. Google says it's 200,000 Androids per day, but Jobs boasts that the iPhone 4 has hit 300,000 per day at its peak.
Jobs also goes full on to putting down the openness of Android, saying that the freedom that vendors have in customizing the UI negatively affects the user experience. The open nature also allows there to be more than one app store, and with the likes of Amazon and Verizon looking to open their own shops, Jobs believes that this will lead to fragmentation of the Android market.
As for all those rumors about Apple coming out with a 7-inch iPad to fill the gap between the iPhone and the current iPad – don't count on it. Jobs had some pretty strong views against any tablet smaller than the current 9.7-inch iPad.
A 7-inch iPad would have 45 percent of the screen area of the current iPad, and Jobs feels that even an increase in resolution wouldn't be good enough because our human fingers are too fat. In fact, Jobs said that smaller tablets should come with sandpaper so that users can sand their fingers down to a quarter of the current size.
Of course, if our meaty fingers can work well with the 3.5-inch screen of the iPhone 4, and all the iPhones before it, we're not sure what the problem is with our digits interacting with a 7-inch tablet.
Still, Steve Jobs says that the upcoming batch of competing tablets that use screens smaller than 10-inches will be DOA or "dead on arrival."
We're sure that the rest of the market is just waiting to prove the Apple CEO wrong.
Check out the full transcript for Jobs' words here. You can also listen in on the beginning in the video below, but the audio is a bit on the quiet side.