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Caption Contest: Happy Birthday, Steve Ballmer!

By - Source: Tom's Hardware US | B 60 comments

We haven't done a Steve Ballmer caption contest yet, but it was his birthday yesterday so we figure it's high time we show the CEO of Microsoft a little love.

I tried to find a picture of Steve with a cake or a birthday hat, you know, because it's his birthday and all. Unfortunately the closest thing I could get was Bill Gates covered in pie, so I settled for just Steve looking really, really happy. This is the happiest picture I could find. Caption away, my little darlings!

Here are the top ten from last week's post:

provolone:

Schmidt: "On display today is Mr. Jobs! Who somehow has managed to make millions and millions of dollars all while wearing the same set of clothes for the past 5 years. It's just incredible!"

kin3000:

Eric: " And here to my right, we have the devil himself. Because only the devil can convince so many people to buy overpriced hardware with heavily limited OSes."

Steve: "Awww, why thank you Eric. It's funny how many people don't notice my logo is actually the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eve."

back_by_demand:

Steve - "You aren't still upset about being booted from the Apple board are you?"

Eric - "Not really, in fact I'm in such a good mood I just told all of China that their leaders murdered protestors 21 years ago in Tiananmen Square"

Abrahm:

Eric: I hold in my hands every innovation Apple has made over the last 10 years!

Steve: There's a truck out back filled with the patents for all of that innovation!

aethm:

Eric: How about a Hug?

Jobs: Let me patent myself first...

the_dave:

Steve: I am a mac

Eric: I am an Android.

axilon:

Eric: "Why hello Steve, lets be friends!"

Steve: "Do Not Want!"

vic20:

Eric - "Ladies and gentleman! I give you the visionary of 'magical' devices, such as the iPad, Mr. Steve Jobs! I believe he is the only man who has surpassed the great David Copperfield in Magic and Illusion!"

Steve - "Why Thank you Eric...hey! Wait a minute..."

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Top Comments
  • 22 Hide
    Ryun , March 25, 2010 2:28 PM
    Ballmer - "How long did you say I have to wear this thing until my hair grows back?"
  • 15 Hide
    gebbz , March 25, 2010 3:00 PM
    Firstly...WTF is that THING they are wearing?
    Secondly
    Ballmer: Microsoft's new virtual sex-mo-tron works perfectly!
    Pimp in Middle: Yo homie, this virtual lovin' is gonna cost you!
    Girl: OMG virtual Steve Ballmer has his tentacles EVERYWHERE!
  • 15 Hide
    falchard , March 25, 2010 2:46 PM
    "How much do YOU think this brain wave emitter is worth? Wait just one more minute before you answer. Watch as MS Brain makes this woman smile. Now how much do you think this emitter is worth? Don't answer. Wait until you see it work on this person without an emitter. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, It controls peoples minds through thin air!? Thats right, you can make people do stuff EVEN PEOPLE WITHOUT A RECIEVER! How much did you guess? $500? A Thousand? EVEN MORE? NO!! Its just $99! Thats right its $99. Its an incredible value but its true. Its MS Brain From Microsoft!"
Other Comments
    Display all 60 comments.
  • -5 Hide
    whiz , March 25, 2010 1:42 PM
    "I totally control that girl's mind..."
  • -6 Hide
    rambo117 , March 25, 2010 2:23 PM
    cingular: raising the bar
  • 4 Hide
    jonpaul37 , March 25, 2010 2:23 PM
    Ballmer & random Asian girl: "We are the Borg. Resistance is futile."

    random Asian guy: "Bend over and tell that to my West Siiiiiiied Shocker!"
  • -6 Hide
    brennon7 , March 25, 2010 2:23 PM
    "Two people about to receive the shocker"

    Really, why is that guy putting up the "shocker?"
  • -5 Hide
    Rancifer7 , March 25, 2010 2:24 PM
    "Hey I thought those face suckers were....oooo look at the pretty lights."
  • -5 Hide
    leo2kp , March 25, 2010 2:25 PM
    Cornrows
  • -5 Hide
    nicklasd87 , March 25, 2010 2:25 PM
    "Smile if you know you look ridiculous"
  • 14 Hide
    bogcotton , March 25, 2010 2:25 PM
    [Man in the middle] Muahahahahahaahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! You have fallen for my evil plan. These mind control devices will give me power over one of the biggest companies in the world, and the woman I love. ***Throws west side sign for extra gangsta***

    [Steve Ballmer - said through teeth] Stop making me smile you bastard! SOMEBODY HELP.

    [Asian lady] This is kind of kinky. XD
  • -5 Hide
    batkerson , March 25, 2010 2:26 PM
    "We girls have to stick together, even in hair styles!"
  • 22 Hide
    Ryun , March 25, 2010 2:28 PM
    Ballmer - "How long did you say I have to wear this thing until my hair grows back?"
  • -5 Hide
    steveoh , March 25, 2010 2:29 PM
    Why bother?
  • -6 Hide
    seasonaleclipse , March 25, 2010 2:31 PM
    "This is to harness my telekinesis powers. Instead of bending spoons I shall raise Microsoft Stocks!"
  • -3 Hide
    Anonymous , March 25, 2010 2:32 PM
    steve ballmer demonstrating the new electroshock therapy controller for xbox
  • -5 Hide
    vertigo_2000 , March 25, 2010 2:33 PM
    That's not shocker. Shocker has the ring finger turned in, not the middle finger.

    Unless your GF is opposite of most women.

    :D 
  • -5 Hide
    Tomtompiper , March 25, 2010 2:36 PM
    Guy in the middle. "And if I increase the Voltage you will end up with a dimple in your forehead, a gray beard and a pink tie."

  • 12 Hide
    Anonymous , March 25, 2010 2:37 PM
    All your brain are belong to us!
  • -6 Hide
    pmac1328 , March 25, 2010 2:39 PM
    Ballmer [thinks to himself]: "This reminds me... i really should make an appointment to see my dentist..."
  • -6 Hide
    Anonymous , March 25, 2010 2:44 PM
    In response to Nintendo's announcement of the 3DS, Steve Ballmer unveiled the 360's newest accessory. Xbox 3D360 :o 
  • 15 Hide
    falchard , March 25, 2010 2:46 PM
    "How much do YOU think this brain wave emitter is worth? Wait just one more minute before you answer. Watch as MS Brain makes this woman smile. Now how much do you think this emitter is worth? Don't answer. Wait until you see it work on this person without an emitter. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, It controls peoples minds through thin air!? Thats right, you can make people do stuff EVEN PEOPLE WITHOUT A RECIEVER! How much did you guess? $500? A Thousand? EVEN MORE? NO!! Its just $99! Thats right its $99. Its an incredible value but its true. Its MS Brain From Microsoft!"
  • 9 Hide
    Hilarion , March 25, 2010 2:48 PM
    Ballmer: "You're sure this will actually give me control of Steve Jobs?"

    Offstage reply: "Sure!"

    Ballmer: "Sweet!"
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