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DNF's ESRB Summary Was Worth the 14-yr Wait

By - Source: Destructoid | B 30 comments

The ESRB has listed the description of Duke Nukem Forever, highlighting everything that will make this the biggest game of the year... and the most hated by parents and political loud-mouths.

Destructoid has pointed out that Duke Nukem Forever finally received a rating by the Entertainment Software Ratings Board, inching us one more step towards an actual physical, playable product. Unless we're all connected to a virtual world via jacks mounted into our brains, the long, long, long awaited Duke Nukem 3D sequel is really heading our way in May.

With that said, the summary listed by the ESRB is in itself worth the 14-year-long wait, describing one portion of the game where "players enter a strip-club level and view several topless dancers and receive lap dances." During a couple of missions within this particular level, gamers will be required to recover sex toys and pictures of topless women, the listing describes.

"A few sequences strongly imply sexual acts: two women appear to perform fellatio on the central character (e.g., raising their heads from his lap) -- though there is no actual depiction of the sex act," the listing reads. "Duke moans and leans up against the wall of a bathroom stall (furnished with a hole) -- it is implied that a sex act (not depicted) occurs."

The description goes on to talk about Duke's language, his witty one-liners, jokes about colon cleansing and the previously revealed act of pulling feces out of the toilet and throwing it against the walls (you can write with poop, too). There's also the "over-the-top" instances of violence including decapitation, dismemberment, exploding flesh, and all other forms of gore Duke Nukem fans have come to love and expect in the forever-in-development sequel.

To read the full ESRB description, head here. Duke Nukem Forever is finally landing on Windows PC, the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 on May 3, 2011 here in the States and May 6 worldwide.

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  • 0 Hide
    jerreece , March 2, 2011 10:19 PM
    Good God...
  • 1 Hide
    BulkZerker , March 2, 2011 10:27 PM
    Poo writing? Wut
  • 4 Hide
    HansVonOhain , March 2, 2011 10:27 PM
    Lol at political loudmouths. Australia will ban this game, thats for sure.
  • 1 Hide
    festerovic , March 2, 2011 10:28 PM
    I've waited 14 years.....to write with poop!
  • 5 Hide
    zerapio , March 2, 2011 10:37 PM
    It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gum!
  • 3 Hide
    chickenhoagie , March 2, 2011 10:57 PM
    oh damn..I hope this game makes me feel like im 7 years old again:) 
  • -1 Hide
    someguynamedmatt , March 2, 2011 10:58 PM
    Wow.


    ...wow.
    It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of ass.
    That's right. Didn't see that coming, did you?
    God, am I tired... feel free to ignore that...
  • -1 Hide
    haze4peace , March 2, 2011 11:00 PM
    I have a feeling this game will suck, but I'll give it a shot anyways... for old times sake.
  • 2 Hide
    atminside , March 2, 2011 11:04 PM
    SOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!! Can't wait to shoot aliens taking a crap in toilet stalls!
  • 1 Hide
    K2N hater , March 2, 2011 11:19 PM
    Do aliens scream higher if I shoot their balls or knees?
  • 1 Hide
    Flameout , March 2, 2011 11:47 PM
    cmooooooon linux port!
  • 1 Hide
    Spanky Deluxe , March 3, 2011 12:50 AM
    Awesome. I can't wait. I've been waiting for this game since I was 12.
  • 3 Hide
    joytech22 , March 3, 2011 1:16 AM
    HansVonOhainLol at political loudmouths. Australia will ban this game, thats for sure.


    Damn it stupid Australian ratings, You have no idea how many people complain to those people who control the ratings, I even got a reply in PDF format, they typed it up, printed it, scanned it then sent it to me as a PDF, you can even see the edges of the paper!

    Just shows how dumb they are..
  • 2 Hide
    Thunderfox , March 3, 2011 1:26 AM
    I just hope they didn't spend all their time trying to cram sex jokes into the game rather than designing something that is fun to play. The mature content and humor of the original was part of its appeal certainly, but the game itself was just fundamentally well done. I hope the same can be said of the long awaited sequel.

    And writing on the walls with a turd is just stupid. The fact that they took the time to put that in had better mean that there are a thousand other more interesting little interactions you can do, because that would be last on my list of priorities if I were a game designer.
  • 2 Hide
    captaincharisma , March 3, 2011 1:47 AM
    the more sex jokes the better without them it would just be another generic shooter
  • -2 Hide
    7amood , March 3, 2011 3:07 AM
    SPOILER ALERT GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF KEVIN???
  • 0 Hide
    falchard , March 3, 2011 3:10 AM
    The good news is if you have been waiting for this game, you are already an adult since most people below 4 cannot read yet.
  • 0 Hide
    caeden , March 3, 2011 3:13 AM
    man... and to think the original game was actually rather family friendly lol
  • 0 Hide
    dalauder , March 3, 2011 3:34 AM
    I just hope it doesn't get so monotonous it's no fun...but long awaited sequels are usually busts. I gotta love the ESRB comment though.
  • 0 Hide
    enzo matrix , March 3, 2011 4:03 AM
    caedenman... and to think the original game was actually rather family friendly lol

    wut?
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