Dev creates astrology-powered CPU scheduler for Linux, makes decisions based on planetary positions and zodiac signs — sched_ext framework informed by lunar phases, cosmic weather reports, and dynamic time slicing

A software engineer has developed a fully functional Linux scheduler that takes its cues from the popular pseudoscience of astrology. The scx_horoscope scheduler “makes CPU scheduling decisions based on real-time planetary positions, zodiac signs, and astrological principles,” notes its creator, Lucas Zampieri. Thus, if you are a Gemini, working on your computer on April 10, 2026, for example, your CPU tasks would run 50% slower.

It may sound like an exercise in silliness, unless you are a believer, but this GitHub project does a great job demonstrating the power and flexibility of sched_ext. In brief, sched_ext is a relatively new pluggable framework that allows for custom Linux schedulers to be implemented without kernel patching. We are sure the feature wasn’t designed to assign CPU time and other system resources based on the movements of heavenly bodies – but it can.

Zampieri, who is a software engineer at Red Hat specializing in RISC-V architecture projects, discusses the features and implementation of his scx_horoscope on the afore-linked GitHub repository. However, I must confess that the astrological scheduling rules, which weigh the complex mix of planetary domains, the zodiac, element effects, retrograde effects, and more, to balance the priorities of your CPU, networking, system, and memory tasks, are hard to fathom. That complexity makes sched_ext all the more impressive.

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The dizzying arrays of mumbo jumbo behind this scheduler almost encourage blind acceptance in its prioritizing decisions. After reading the GitHub, head spinning as I thought about the ever-moving boosts and debuffs of elemental effects, I almost felt hypnotized into believing. I was ready to accept, as Zampieri puts it, “if the universe can influence our lives, why not our CPU scheduling too.”

To sum up, it is a rather extraordinary piece of work to interweave astrology and a fully functional operating system scheduler. It actually draws on resources like accurate geocentric planetary positions, lunar phases, cosmic weather reports, and dynamic time slicing to come up with its scheduling adjustments, too.

Zampieri is clear that this GPL-2.0 licensed project is a “scientifically dubious, cosmically hilarious” work. It definitely isn’t recommended for use in production systems - not because of bugs, but because it works as intended… The dev is still looking to add “more cosmic chaos” to scx_horoscope, so contributors are welcome.

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